In the last two letters she wrote to ds (8) she told him she was depressed and lonely so could he please write her. I didn't let him read those letters because he's a sensitive kid and I don't want her pulling him into her misery.
So ... should I just let him write her a note and keep tossing her inappropriate letters in the trash or should I adda note to her telling her he won't be getting her letters unless she stops writing about how sad she is?
DH refuses any contact with her right now and is OK with me sending the note. I'm inclined to just ignore her as I've done the last few years.
Quoting AngryBob:
My mil messed with my ss' head, telling him sob stories all the time. It really messed him up. He had a complete mental breakdown when she died, because he was so emotionally dependent on her.
If I were you, I would continue to keep her far, far away from your son. Why would allow someone you call a "manipulative jerk" around your son, when you know he is sensitive? If you wouldn't let a perfect stranger with those issues around him, why does family get a pass? She obviously doesn't care that she could hurt him with her problems.
Listen to your husband when he says he doesn't want anything to do with her. In fact, if I were you, I'd consider writing HER a letter and telling her she had better tone down her crazy and back off, or else you will consider pressing charges or getting a restraining order.
Quoting Anonymous:
It sounds like you and hubby are behaving like insensitive jerks too. Should be trying to get her professional help.
This is a tough situation.....
Mental Illness and all that comes with it is just that, an Illness. And it needs to be handled as one. Refusing contact instead of trying to understand the disease or help her get the help she may not know she needs won't help. Grandchildren have an amazing way of bringing families together, and making issues seem not so bad. Sometimes you just have to learn to pick your battles when it comes to a person with a mental illness. Learn to accept that things may never be perfect, but she is still mother, grandmother. And it's better to accept now than regret later.....there are no Do-Overs after she's gone.
And actually in this case having a child made her behavior so much worse. She failed to respect any boundries we set - therefore she now gets close to nothing.
Quoting MsMimna:This is a tough situation.....
Mental Illness and all that comes with it is just that, an Illness. And it needs to be handled as one. Refusing contact instead of trying to understand the disease or help her get the help she may not know she needs won't help. Grandchildren have an amazing way of bringing families together, and making issues seem not so bad. Sometimes you just have to learn to pick your battles when it comes to a person with a mental illness. Learn to accept that things may never be perfect, but she is still mother, grandmother. And it's better to accept now than regret later.....there are no Do-Overs after she's gone.
leaving baby alone while i do laundry?