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A long pointless pathetic vent that i've held in for way to long

Posted by Anonymous
  • 6 Replies

I've had the last straw with my mothers p.o.s husband tonight and i need to vent. I've held it in for the past 10 years and just need to get it out finally.

When i was a few months old, my mom married a wonderful man. He loved me and treated me like i was his own. He went out and bought all new furniture for me, and gave up his bedroom so i could have everything and a ton of toys. She divorced him after 2 months, when E came back into her life. E and her had been together prior to me being conceived.  E told her that he didn't want me because i wasn't "purebred" aka "his bloodline" im not a dog; sorry.  She gave guardianship to her mom, my grandma.

When i was 10ish she moved 1,000 miles away. She came back two times in almost 10 years. She only called when he wasn't home because it annoyed him when she was on the phone. They had three kids together. I only saw the youngest 1 a few times. At the time they moved, it didn't bother me much. I cried, but i got over it fast because she promised to come visit atleast once a year. When i was 12, she hadn't came back like she promised and our relationship started getting worse. I called her a f'ing c*nt, and a b*tch, and others. I thought i hated her. When i was 13, i turned into a teenage terror, thinking it would get me her attention. It never. She said to just send me to juvie. I decided if i got pregnant, then she would have to come back to see me. I never actually went threw with having sex, so no baby. I got some counceling, and it didn't help. The medicine did, but as far as the actual therapy went; it consisted of skip-bo, scrabble and listening to rihanna's new CD. I got with DH at 17, and he helped fill the void she left. At 17, i got pregnant. I had my daughter in March, and she didn't come back. She promised she would, but never showed up. I was induced 3 weeks early tho, so i somewhat understood. 

It took me being life flighted and in a medical induced coma and told 4 times i was going to die before she finally borrowed money and came back. She stayed for probabl a week and then went back, and he called probably 15 times a day, and never once asked how i was doing, just when she thought she would be back. He was mad because she took her first airplane ride without him. 

We moved up to Idaho shortly after my daughter was born and i got out of the hospital.

"We" consists of me, DH, grandma, brother and daugher.

P.o.s mothers husband HATES dh. He hated him before he even met him because in his words

"hes a child molesting balless damn beaner!"

When we got together, i was 15 and DH was 21

There was a restraining order put in place by grandma for a year.

So technically i was 16 and DH was 22 when we got back together.

He never chose to be a stepdad before, and for the almost 10 years since they had moved, we had literally not said 1 word to each other. Since we've been up here for the last 5 months, we've said a total of 15 words to each other.

On our way up here, me and DH got into a fight. It got physical, and i was dumb and hoping he would be some kind of help. He told me it was my fault, and he was leaving first thing in the morning and he didn't care if he left us both behind in the middle of wyoming. we needed to deal with it and move on(him and my mom drove us up here)

The first words to each other after not speaking for 10 years, was him ripping my ass for dropping something on the ground. A piece of fucking bread. We were at burger king when they showed up, and i dropped the bun on the ground outside. He started yelling at me to go pick it up and throw it away. I told him no. (seriously, its BREAD its not like its toxic poisoning) he wouldn't let me in the car til i walked pack across the parking lot and picked it up and threw it away. That started the entire trip off bad and we werent' even in the same vehicle. 

Now, we lived on one side of town, they lived on the other side of town. In the 5 months we've been up here, they've lost there house and had to move 2 blocks away from us, living in the basement of there store (not zoned for people to live in) and had there car repoed. We let them borrow a van that we bought up here. Hes supposily a contractor and so he was using the van and keeping his tools in the back of the van. He had a welding machine, a box of tools and some kind of fan. We never went threw it, i really never even thought to, had no reason to want to. He sent my mom over here at 9 at night to get his tools because if he didnt my DH was going to steal them. They weren't in the van. So of course DH stole them. Turns out, he had them the whole time he just "misplaced" them under some stuff. 

Before that, they asked my grandma and i to come watch the store so they could go do some running around. We did, we didn't steal anything. We did open the door to the downstairs to let the dog out; like they asked us to, we opened it up the dog ran out, let the dog out to pee and put her back downstairs. Couldn't even see anything because you have to turn and we never did. 

Supposily, when they got back every single door was open and stuff was moved around. My mom never looked, he was the only 1 that suppsily saw anything. She said it doesn't matter to her, but she believed him; you could tell. 

Now, it took us moving up here and DH getting a job before he would get a job. He hasn't kept a job in the 10 years they've moved up here. My mom had too because he was too busy with his contracting job (he had about 20 contracting jobs in the 10 years of living here. He messed up on a few and instead of fixing it, he just quit without being paid or letting the people know. Now DH has a job, so he had to go out and find a job too because DH couldn't look better then him. DH and i alone have bought 2 cars (the van that he was using included) and we are financing a third. Now hes going to go out and buy some 1970s mail truck (yeah, the kind of mail truck that the mailman delivers you mail in...) because thats "cool"

Thats not the point. The point is, hes doing nothing but trying to cause freakin problems between me and my mom and its working. I really just wish we could pack up, and move back. I hate feeling abandoned like i did before we moved, but i'd much rather feel abandoned and work on getting over it than having a weekly battle with him. 

Hes always been proved wrong when accusing us of stuff, but that doesn't help. 

We had to put a extra $300 deposit on a car AND give them the title to another vehicle we owned to get the car we are financing because we are assosiated with them. The dealer flat out told us that, he said due to the amount of problems hes had with them; hes not comfortable with just letting us give him a $500 deposit, he needed extra.

His health is bad and getting worse, slowly. 

He keeps talking about just going to the mountains and never coming back, and i honestly wish he would.

Thats wrong of me to wish for, but hes caused 18 years of pain and problems. Trust issues, abandonment issues, and it goes on and on.

This is long and boring and im not expecting replies, i just need to get it out.

im so freaking tired of him.

tell me how pathetic and whiney i am.....starting.....


Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 10, 2013 at 12:00 AM
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Replies (1-6):
by Platinum Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 12:12 AM
I am sorry that you have had to deal with this, but on the bright side, it sounds like you have a wonderful grandmother. Cut ties. You don't want DD growing up feeling what you felt. Be happy for all that you have in your growing family.
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 12:17 AM
Im sorry that you went threw this! I hope this makes you stonger! Hugs!! Message me if u like to chat!
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by Gold Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 12:24 AM
I'm sorry. I know how badly you want a relationship with your mom but I think your probably better off cutting ties. In sorry. The bright side is that you know that you will never let your children feel this way
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by Baby T-rex Arms on Feb. 10, 2013 at 12:29 AM

Break the cycle. Leave them behind even if they live two blocks away. Focus on your family. Fuck them.

by Silver Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 12:36 AM
Please don't put up with his nonsense for the sake of a relationship with your mom. Not to sound rude but your mom has already chosen him over you and more than likely always will. I know she's your mom but your grandmother is the one who has been there for you. Thank your lucky stars for grandma and let mom and her dh take care of themselves. You have your own family now enjoy them and let the past go. Best wishes for you and your family in whatever you do.
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by Gold Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 1:08 AM
Oh mama......... I'm so so so sorry.
I believe whole heartedly that sometimes we have the mother who birthed us, and if we are very lucky, when they are really needed we are given a mother of the heart, that woman who although not our mother is our mom.
I know kinda what you are going through. My mom told me on my 16th birthday that having me was the worst mistake she ever made and the only good that came from it was meeting my step dad and having my brothers.
She's a peach let me tell ya, so I know how it feels to want and wish and try and get nowhere.
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