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SO cheated and still wants to remain friends with the girl

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

update:  I am not a troll.  Apparently I was wavering on the edge of being just that stupid.  But I'm glad I posted, because you all are right.  Its hard, because before we got together we were best friends for a long time and he was never this way at all, but I need to remind myself that the man I knew is not the one standing before me these days. 

He texted twice yesterday.  Once with a heart, and I told him "I'm still "crazy", "insecure" and unwilling to support your friendship with the woman you cheated on me with. Be glad we're through.  Please leave me alone.
He texted later, asking me to come over and watch a movie, and I ignored him.  I haven't heard anything since.  He obviously isn't taking me seriously, and I agree with you all- I showed him the first time that he really didn't need toIts a shame, because eventually the anger and hurt will subside and I'll miss him, but I do need to respect myself more than this.  Thanks, all.

Before this happened, we were amazing- happy, fun, trusting, loving- I sincerely was head over heels with him, he was my best friend and lover and I trusted him completely.  We were talking about making a life together- moving in, marriage, etc.  Then he met this girl who was completely into him.  One night she went over his house with alcohol.  He said she was on a mission and that he just let her have her way, but that he was so drunk, it was so bad, it was empty compared to what we have, it was a mistake, he didn't want her, etc.  He said if I had only come over it wouldn't have happened. It hurt like hell but eventually I forgave him and we got back together. 

Fast forward two months.  We all went on a weekend trip, a whole bunch of our friends.  I had to leave early for my neiece's birthday party.  This girl showed up and apparently he spent the next days buying her dinner, holding hands, and yes, having sex with her.  I found out from her friend that this had happened.  He was texting me loving things all the same time texting her compliments about their time together.

Obviously we broke up again.  The girl found out about me and didn't talk to him either for a while.

We stayed apart for some time.  Then he began pursuing me again- swearing he wasn't that sort of man, he fucked up, etc.  I slowly began speaking to him again and recently we began dating again, but I am really distrustful and guarded.  Then I find out that he is still talking to this girl!!!  He says he's been clear with her that they are just friends, but she doesn't know he is dating anyone.  there is an event coming up where they will both be, and I'm afraid the same thing will happen again.  We fought about her yesterday and he says I'm crazy and wrong for "telling him who he can be friends with" and that he can't just stop talking to her because that would be rude.  He said my insecurities are incredibly damaging to our relationship and that he did not expect this insecure, jealous side of me.  I do love him, and I miss what we had, but I don't like the nagging feeling that when hes not with me hes with her.  Am I out of line?  Am I crazy for wanting him to cut off his cheating partner to continue a relationsdhip with me?

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:46 AM
Replies (11-20):
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:53 AM
Ditch him. Do not listen. He likes e thrill of the chase... Men like that are no good.
by Silver Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:53 AM
You were crazy to take him back! And he's still talking to her? Hell no. Leave him... Don't walk, run!

While your wasting time with him, the right man may get away.
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by Anonymous 4 on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:54 AM

MOVE ON!  He's an ass hole who has zero respect for you and is coming back because he knows you have zero respect for yourself and will let him come crawling back.  Cut him off from YOU and let him have this other girl.

Ugh!  And girls wonder why guys treat them like shit!

by Anonymous 5 on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:54 AM
Stop falling for his lies, it's time to move on.
You deserve better than him.
by Ruby Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:54 AM
1 mom liked this
His cheating habits are incredibly damaging to your relationship! I'm sorry dump the chump and find a real man. If he loved you truly he would have no problem not talking to certain people especially if it puts him at risk of losing you.

Fool you once shame on him fool you twice shame on you. You deserve better you can find better don't settle for a jerk
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by Ruby Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:54 AM
You need to walk away.
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by Anonymous 6 on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:55 AM
You are so stupid if you stay.
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:56 AM
Leave him! He's a loser!
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by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:56 AM

 OMG!  Run.  You can't see what his m.o. is?  He's into the thrill of the chase.  As soon as he feels like he's losing you he starts to reel you back in.  Then when he thinks he has you, he gets bored and starts pursuing the other girl again. 

by Anonymous 7 on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:56 AM

" He said my insecurities are incredibly damaging to our relationship"

His inability to keep his ___ in his pants is what was incredibly damaging to your relationship. Did he really expect you to be ok with him being friends with the girl he cheated on you with TWICE? Him still wanting to be friends with her and not telling her that he is dating someone sends up some really big red flags to me. Seems like to me he'd be making more of an effort to prove that you can trust him and not be jealous and insecure-since his infidelity is what caused these feelings.

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