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SO cheated and still wants to remain friends with the girl

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

update:  I am not a troll.  Apparently I was wavering on the edge of being just that stupid.  But I'm glad I posted, because you all are right.  Its hard, because before we got together we were best friends for a long time and he was never this way at all, but I need to remind myself that the man I knew is not the one standing before me these days. 


He texted twice yesterday.  Once with a heart, and I told him "I'm still "crazy", "insecure" and unwilling to support your friendship with the woman you cheated on me with. Be glad we're through.  Please leave me alone.
He texted later, asking me to come over and watch a movie, and I ignored him.  I haven't heard anything since.  He obviously isn't taking me seriously, and I agree with you all- I showed him the first time that he really didn't need toIts a shame, because eventually the anger and hurt will subside and I'll miss him, but I do need to respect myself more than this.  Thanks, all.


Before this happened, we were amazing- happy, fun, trusting, loving- I sincerely was head over heels with him, he was my best friend and lover and I trusted him completely.  We were talking about making a life together- moving in, marriage, etc.  Then he met this girl who was completely into him.  One night she went over his house with alcohol.  He said she was on a mission and that he just let her have her way, but that he was so drunk, it was so bad, it was empty compared to what we have, it was a mistake, he didn't want her, etc.  He said if I had only come over it wouldn't have happened. It hurt like hell but eventually I forgave him and we got back together. 

Fast forward two months.  We all went on a weekend trip, a whole bunch of our friends.  I had to leave early for my neiece's birthday party.  This girl showed up and apparently he spent the next days buying her dinner, holding hands, and yes, having sex with her.  I found out from her friend that this had happened.  He was texting me loving things all the same time texting her compliments about their time together.

Obviously we broke up again.  The girl found out about me and didn't talk to him either for a while.

We stayed apart for some time.  Then he began pursuing me again- swearing he wasn't that sort of man, he fucked up, etc.  I slowly began speaking to him again and recently we began dating again, but I am really distrustful and guarded.  Then I find out that he is still talking to this girl!!!  He says he's been clear with her that they are just friends, but she doesn't know he is dating anyone.  there is an event coming up where they will both be, and I'm afraid the same thing will happen again.  We fought about her yesterday and he says I'm crazy and wrong for "telling him who he can be friends with" and that he can't just stop talking to her because that would be rude.  He said my insecurities are incredibly damaging to our relationship and that he did not expect this insecure, jealous side of me.  I do love him, and I miss what we had, but I don't like the nagging feeling that when hes not with me hes with her.  Am I out of line?  Am I crazy for wanting him to cut off his cheating partner to continue a relationsdhip with me?

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:46 AM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:56 AM
1 mom liked this
Why would you put yourself through the pain and drama AGAIN??? All because you love him? Do yourself a huge favor and WALK AWAY! You deserve someone who will respect you and treat you right.
hellomilla
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:57 AM
He doesn't know which one of you he wants so he is trying to drag you both along. Run.
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edelweiss23
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:57 AM
1 mom liked this
If you keep believing his crap, you don't have my sympathy.

He will keep doing it.
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southern.momof2
by Pirate on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:57 AM
1 mom liked this
He hasn't told her he was seeing you again? Woman, you are blind! He is probably still fucking her and having you on the side.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:57 AM
1 mom liked this

Well, the real question is, how much more are you going to take before you realize you are his doormat?  Must be nice for him to have his cake and a little frosting on the side.  smh

LilliesValley
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:57 AM
This guy is just going to keep doing this. Once is maybe an accident, although I don't think so. Twice is s habit that he thinks he's getting away with. He's using you and stringing you along. I'd forget this guy and move on. Find someone who is worthy of you.
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mysticalmalissa
by Platinum Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:58 AM

I think you already know the correct answer.....

itextndrive
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:58 AM

i think you should cheat on him...he clearly dosent know what it feels like to be betrayed by someone you trust...but you can fix that and offer him that experience.

JC2223
by Gold Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:59 AM
1 mom liked this

 Good relationships have a foundation of trust and communication, neither of which you have in this relationship. You and you alone are responsible for what you will and will not accept in a relationship and how you will allow someone to treat you. So why are you subjecting yourself to someone who obviously has no regard for your feelings? What you had with this person no longer exists, he changed all that following his own agenda. Now you have to decide if you are willing to have a relationship based on what he feels is "rude" to someone else or what you feel is "rude" towards you.

Bethbeth
by Silver Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:59 AM

 nope. if he wants to be with you, he has to be rude to her and not talk to her again.

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