Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

SO cheated and still wants to remain friends with the girl

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

update:  I am not a troll.  Apparently I was wavering on the edge of being just that stupid.  But I'm glad I posted, because you all are right.  Its hard, because before we got together we were best friends for a long time and he was never this way at all, but I need to remind myself that the man I knew is not the one standing before me these days. 

He texted twice yesterday.  Once with a heart, and I told him "I'm still "crazy", "insecure" and unwilling to support your friendship with the woman you cheated on me with. Be glad we're through.  Please leave me alone.
He texted later, asking me to come over and watch a movie, and I ignored him.  I haven't heard anything since.  He obviously isn't taking me seriously, and I agree with you all- I showed him the first time that he really didn't need toIts a shame, because eventually the anger and hurt will subside and I'll miss him, but I do need to respect myself more than this.  Thanks, all.

Before this happened, we were amazing- happy, fun, trusting, loving- I sincerely was head over heels with him, he was my best friend and lover and I trusted him completely.  We were talking about making a life together- moving in, marriage, etc.  Then he met this girl who was completely into him.  One night she went over his house with alcohol.  He said she was on a mission and that he just let her have her way, but that he was so drunk, it was so bad, it was empty compared to what we have, it was a mistake, he didn't want her, etc.  He said if I had only come over it wouldn't have happened. It hurt like hell but eventually I forgave him and we got back together. 

Fast forward two months.  We all went on a weekend trip, a whole bunch of our friends.  I had to leave early for my neiece's birthday party.  This girl showed up and apparently he spent the next days buying her dinner, holding hands, and yes, having sex with her.  I found out from her friend that this had happened.  He was texting me loving things all the same time texting her compliments about their time together.

Obviously we broke up again.  The girl found out about me and didn't talk to him either for a while.

We stayed apart for some time.  Then he began pursuing me again- swearing he wasn't that sort of man, he fucked up, etc.  I slowly began speaking to him again and recently we began dating again, but I am really distrustful and guarded.  Then I find out that he is still talking to this girl!!!  He says he's been clear with her that they are just friends, but she doesn't know he is dating anyone.  there is an event coming up where they will both be, and I'm afraid the same thing will happen again.  We fought about her yesterday and he says I'm crazy and wrong for "telling him who he can be friends with" and that he can't just stop talking to her because that would be rude.  He said my insecurities are incredibly damaging to our relationship and that he did not expect this insecure, jealous side of me.  I do love him, and I miss what we had, but I don't like the nagging feeling that when hes not with me hes with her.  Am I out of line?  Am I crazy for wanting him to cut off his cheating partner to continue a relationsdhip with me?

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:46 AM
Replies (31-40):
by Platinum Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:59 AM
Uh no, your insecurities are founded. Him being a cheating, deceitful fucktard s "increibly damaging to your relationship".

Run away from him. Now.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Ruby Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:59 AM

fool me once, shame on you.  fool me twice, shame on me.  why would you give him chance number 3?

by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:59 AM
Leave never look back. there us a good guy out there. my guess hes done it before her..but got away with it.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Anonymous 10 on Feb. 10, 2013 at 9:00 AM
There is no happy ending to this story. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me a third time, welcome to being a lifelong doormat. MOVE ON!!
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 9:00 AM
Why would you care about a man like that? Let him have her and find someone who really loves you.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by Ruby Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 9:01 AM
He's crazy. And you're only crazy for falling for his BS. he is having a relationship with both if you, and you both are falling for it.

Dumb!! Get out.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 9:01 AM
You need to dump him hun. He's done it twice, he'll do it again. He's playing you both and ain't nobody got time for that
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 10, 2013 at 9:01 AM

We do not have children together, thank God.  I think you all are right- he just has this way of twisting things and making me feel like the wrong one when we talk.  It will be hard but I agree- if I keep letting him do it, he will keep doing it, and that is not the example I want my son seeing as how to treat women as he grows up. 

By the way- what a dickface!!!!

by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 9:02 AM

You deserve a fresh start with a great new guy. Where you can let your guard down and trust him won't have that with someone who betrayed your trust on more than one occasion. I wish you the best.  

by Platinum Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 9:02 AM
Yeah no freakin way that would fly with me. You deserve better than that. Why on earth would he think you would be okay with him being friends with her? And while he is right, he can be friends with who he wants, YOU can decided how you will be treated and not allow someone to make you feel anxious and like shit because they are purposefully doing something that hurts you.

If he really wanted it to work, he would drop her, no questions asked. Dump the loser. When he comes sniffing around again, hold firm. He is a dog.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)