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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

SO cheated and still wants to remain friends with the girl

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

update:  I am not a troll.  Apparently I was wavering on the edge of being just that stupid.  But I'm glad I posted, because you all are right.  Its hard, because before we got together we were best friends for a long time and he was never this way at all, but I need to remind myself that the man I knew is not the one standing before me these days. 


He texted twice yesterday.  Once with a heart, and I told him "I'm still "crazy", "insecure" and unwilling to support your friendship with the woman you cheated on me with. Be glad we're through.  Please leave me alone.
He texted later, asking me to come over and watch a movie, and I ignored him.  I haven't heard anything since.  He obviously isn't taking me seriously, and I agree with you all- I showed him the first time that he really didn't need toIts a shame, because eventually the anger and hurt will subside and I'll miss him, but I do need to respect myself more than this.  Thanks, all.


Before this happened, we were amazing- happy, fun, trusting, loving- I sincerely was head over heels with him, he was my best friend and lover and I trusted him completely.  We were talking about making a life together- moving in, marriage, etc.  Then he met this girl who was completely into him.  One night she went over his house with alcohol.  He said she was on a mission and that he just let her have her way, but that he was so drunk, it was so bad, it was empty compared to what we have, it was a mistake, he didn't want her, etc.  He said if I had only come over it wouldn't have happened. It hurt like hell but eventually I forgave him and we got back together. 

Fast forward two months.  We all went on a weekend trip, a whole bunch of our friends.  I had to leave early for my neiece's birthday party.  This girl showed up and apparently he spent the next days buying her dinner, holding hands, and yes, having sex with her.  I found out from her friend that this had happened.  He was texting me loving things all the same time texting her compliments about their time together.

Obviously we broke up again.  The girl found out about me and didn't talk to him either for a while.

We stayed apart for some time.  Then he began pursuing me again- swearing he wasn't that sort of man, he fucked up, etc.  I slowly began speaking to him again and recently we began dating again, but I am really distrustful and guarded.  Then I find out that he is still talking to this girl!!!  He says he's been clear with her that they are just friends, but she doesn't know he is dating anyone.  there is an event coming up where they will both be, and I'm afraid the same thing will happen again.  We fought about her yesterday and he says I'm crazy and wrong for "telling him who he can be friends with" and that he can't just stop talking to her because that would be rude.  He said my insecurities are incredibly damaging to our relationship and that he did not expect this insecure, jealous side of me.  I do love him, and I miss what we had, but I don't like the nagging feeling that when hes not with me hes with her.  Am I out of line?  Am I crazy for wanting him to cut off his cheating partner to continue a relationsdhip with me?

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:46 AM
Replies (41-50):
kandie63
by Silver Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 9:03 AM
I could forgive the 1st time. But he's done it twice that you know of. If you take him back, you'll deserve everything you get.
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JessO919
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 9:04 AM

Insecure?!  WTF does he expect you to tell him.  He cheated on you twice with the same girl.  Get out fast because he is gonna keep doing this.  He's made it clear twice now that you cannot trust him.  Find someone that is worth your time.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 11 on Feb. 10, 2013 at 9:05 AM
If he can't understand why you want him to cut her out of the picture, not only that, but he's turning it around on you and making you feel like you're the problem, you need to dump him FOR GOOD.
There's no logical reason he needs to be friends or be in touch with that other girl, especially of he's committed to you, the fact he's keeping that "link" open says a lot about him, and none of it is good.
Mistygirl
by Bronze Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 9:05 AM

Your biggest mistake was forgiving him again and getting back together. You will never be able to trust him again, at does not make for a healthy relationship. You need to let hi go. He will most likely do this again.


KrissyKC
by Platinum Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 9:05 AM

I'm not trying to be mean, but my first thought when reading this was...

"yeah... uh.. you're stupid."

But that would be mean to just come out and say... so uh... let me revise that.

"He cheated on you twice!!  Not once, but twice... he is still friends with the girl, he hasn't told her he is dating you again... and he's going anywhere in a party style atmosphere without you...."

Uh...

I revert back to my first thought...

PeytonNBella
by Silver Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 9:05 AM
Don't kid yourself, he wants to stay FWB with her not just friends.

Leave now before you catch him cheating again.
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marie2409
by Silver Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 9:05 AM
1 mom liked this
Exactly. Hell he blamed you the first time it happened. "If you would have come over it wouldn't have happened". That would piss me off as much as the cheating it's self! What a selfish pos he is.

Quoting Anonymous:

We do not have children together, thank God.  I think you all are right- he just has this way of twisting things and making me feel like the wrong one when we talk.  It will be hard but I agree- if I keep letting him do it, he will keep doing it, and that is not the example I want my son seeing as how to treat women as he grows up. 

By the way- what a dickface!!!!

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ecerka
by Platinum Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 9:06 AM
You need to just get rid of him. He isn't being fair to you. sounds like he just wants to do whatever he wants and you're suppose to go along with it. Screw that, I'd break up with him.
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helema24
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 9:07 AM

 tell him its you o rher and if hes really that into her that he cant get rid of her as a friend then you will be finding someone that wont cheat and then try to be friends with that person.

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livelaughlov26
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 9:07 AM
Don't be stupid. Dump him.
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