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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions
"If you loved your baby, if you wanted your baby, you would have kept them"



Bull. I commend women who have the strength to willingly give a child they love up for adoption for the sake of the child. I had respect for birthmoms long before I became one.



So many of you toss cruel words without any care for what wounds they cause, or even what open wounds already remain that you just make bleed more. Adoption is a personal choice, all around, for the ones adopting, and the ones birthing. If you can offer any sense of compassion, any sense of understanding, then why even speak?



It's so easy to spew slime and hate and hurt anonymously. It's not nearly so easy to actually do research, get to know the individuals you are insulting and hurting and learn about what you are ignorantly running your mouth about.



So. Attack me if you must. But leave these other women alone.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 4:35 PM
Replies (41-50):
StarryRain
by Gold Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:06 AM
Which is why they shouldn't comment on the subject.

Quoting Anonymous:

The people that say that have obviously never been in the position of giving up a child and they also lack the basic empathy to put themselves in other people's shoes!

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:10 AM

Exactly,  that's what I meant! 



Quoting StarryRain:

Which is why they shouldn't comment on the subject.

Quoting Anonymous:

The people that say that have obviously never been in the position of giving up a child and they also lack the basic empathy to put themselves in other people's shoes!



Purgatorian
by Bronze Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:12 AM

I'm adopted as well.  I am thankful my bio mother had the sense to put me up for adoption if she felt she could not take care of me or having a child so young would have ruined her life.

I have zero respect for those that spew hate and think it is their right to rain down judgement on those they do not know.  Having an opinion is one thing...lashing out and purposely trying to inflict pain or guilt is something completely different.

 

StarryRain
by Gold Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:14 AM
I think that's part of my problem with some replies. They aren't asking questions, or confused, etc. They are merely being hateful and hurting people for no reason.

Quoting Purgatorian:

I'm adopted as well.  I am thankful my bio mother had the sense to put me up for adoption if she felt she could not take care of me or having a child so young would have ruined her life.


I have zero respect for those that spew hate and think it is their right to rain down judgement on those they do not know.  Having an opinion is one thing...lashing out and purposely trying to inflict pain or guilt is something completely different.


 

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:14 AM

My birth mom didn't or couldn't take care of me, or my siblings. It didn't stop her from harassing my mom and dad, and trying all sorts of guilt focused crap.

My parents wanted me to know where I came from, and I am thrilled to know my siblings. But my birth mom, we would all be better without. She's also a junkie, so that adds to the drama.

She didn't do anything for us other than forget birth control and realize that kids would cramp her style. I am really glad that she was selfish enough to see that, becuase it probably saved our lives. But me and my parents do not owe her anything for that. She still seems to think so. Hasn't stopped her using. And I am mean and brainwashed by my jerk parents for going no contact.

Pffffft. Not all adoption is selfless. I know of 4 that were not.

kryptomom
by Gold Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:15 AM

I wholehearted support adoption.  It is the most selfless act I can imagine.

I commend your courage.

StarryRain
by Gold Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:15 AM
I am sorry that your situation was unfortunate. I'm sorry that your birthmom sucked.

However, she is not the majority, but the minority.


Quoting Anonymous:

My birth mom didn't or couldn't take care of me, or my siblings. It didn't stop her from harassing my mom and dad, and trying all sorts of guilt focused crap.

My parents wanted me to know where I came from, and I am thrilled to know my siblings. But my birth mom, we would all be better without. She's also a junkie, so that adds to the drama.

She didn't do anything for us other than forget birth control and realize that kids would cramp her style. I am really glad that she was selfish enough to see that, becuase it probably saved our lives. But me and my parents do not owe her anything for that. She still seems to think so. Hasn't stopped her using. And I am mean and brainwashed by my jerk parents for going no contact.

Pffffft. Not all adoption is selfless. I know of 4 that were not.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
takeitall13
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:16 AM

 this.  keeping a kid if you know you're not a suitable parent is ignorant and not aat all fair to the child.. give a child up is HARDER but better for that baby, especially in the long run-- and there IS such a thing as an open adoption so you can still be part of the childs life.  :)

Quoting brebugmom91:

I agree!! Giving a baby up is one of the most commendable things a MOTHER can do.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:23 AM


Quoting StarryRain:

I am sorry that your situation was unfortunate. I'm sorry that your birthmom sucked.

However, she is not the majority, but the minority.


Quoting Anonymous:

My birth mom didn't or couldn't take care of me, or my siblings. It didn't stop her from harassing my mom and dad, and trying all sorts of guilt focused crap.

My parents wanted me to know where I came from, and I am thrilled to know my siblings. But my birth mom, we would all be better without. She's also a junkie, so that adds to the drama.

She didn't do anything for us other than forget birth control and realize that kids would cramp her style. I am really glad that she was selfish enough to see that, becuase it probably saved our lives. But me and my parents do not owe her anything for that. She still seems to think so. Hasn't stopped her using. And I am mean and brainwashed by my jerk parents for going no contact.

Pffffft. Not all adoption is selfless. I know of 4 that were not.

With those I know who are adopted, it's more of a fifty fifty experience.  So to me, it's about an even shot one way or the other. Some birth parents are great, others are not.

notjstasocermom
by Emerald Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:48 AM


I wouldn't say it about all bm's.

Quoting StarryRain:

You have every right to say what you wish about her, yes. Not all birthmoms, though.

Quoting notjstasocermom:

well considering I adopted I can say what I want about my bio mom



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