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Relationship Advice - please don't be rude (I know - it's asking a lot)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 25 Replies

My husband and I have been married a little less than a year.  He is my best friend and I love him, but we are hardly intimate (not by his choice) and I don't know why.  I don't know if I'm not attracted to him specifically or if it's something else.  Any advice?  I feel like he deserves a more intimate relationship, but I have a hard time providing this.

I guess I should add that it has always been like this.  It's not like it started after marriage.  What's wrong with me?

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 10, 2013 at 6:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 10, 2013 at 6:47 PM
Nothing. It's the same with me, I just feel like I'm too busy and when I have down time I don't want someone all over me.
theosgirl45
by Platinum Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 6:47 PM

Talk to him about it and then talk to your doctor about it.  Could be hormonal.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 10, 2013 at 6:50 PM

I know I should talk to him about it, but I also know he will take it personally.

Quoting theosgirl45:

Talk to him about it and then talk to your doctor about it.  Could be hormonal.


amberlyp
by Gold Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 6:51 PM
It sounds like you aren't sexually attracted to him. Also, with a woman, a man has to please our mind first. Is he helping you around the house and being sweet to you?
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 10, 2013 at 6:53 PM

Yeah, he's great to me.  He doesn't take initiative around the house, but when I ask him to do something, he does it without any complaints or anything.  He is very sweet and kind to me.  I couldn't ask for a better husband.

Quoting amberlyp:

It sounds like you aren't sexually attracted to him. Also, with a woman, a man has to please our mind first. Is he helping you around the house and being sweet to you?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 10, 2013 at 6:55 PM
It definitely could be a hormonal thing.. I would deff talk to your dr.

Also ... is it just him or all men you're not sexually attracted too? Are you attracted to women? Any chance you're gay and just haven't realized yet?
Syphon
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 6:57 PM

 Are you physically attracted to him?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 10, 2013 at 6:58 PM

When I was younger I was definitely more sexually active.  The problem was, all of my relationships before my husband were mainly just sexual.  They weren't good stable emotional relationships.  I do consider myself bi and he knows this.  I guess if it is hormonal it's possible that I wouldn't have always been this way?

Quoting Anonymous:

It definitely could be a hormonal thing.. I would deff talk to your dr.

Also ... is it just him or all men you're not sexually attracted too? Are you attracted to women? Any chance you're gay and just haven't realized yet?


Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Feb. 10, 2013 at 7:02 PM

Girls usually aren't as sexually focused as men. I don't see a big deal. But things that might spice it up is if you have some time without him and remember that you are attractive and sexy. I feel like I have to feel good about myself in order to perform. I don't think there's anything wrong with you, I think you're completely normal. Men think about sex every 7 seconds... women every 7 days? lol. Just remember, quality not quantity.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Feb. 10, 2013 at 7:02 PM

Im just like that, but I think mine stems from bad sexual experiences in the past. 

I am attracted to my S/O, but I dont get aroused hardly at all. To me, sex has always been a bad thing. I hate that Im that way. I want to make him happy and I also enjoy sex with my S/O, so we keep open lines of communication about it and invest in lube. :) 

I would talk to your doctor, as it could be hormonal. Are you attracted to other men now, or in the past? 

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