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Tell her my concerns?

Posted by Anonymous
  • 7 Replies



Question: Should I tell BM or leave well enough alone?


Yes, tell her so she can revise visitation

No, he's been doing fine, don't mess with what doesnt involve you

Other, cuz theres always an other

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Total Votes: 14

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My DH, is a good guy normally, but he tends to slip back into his bad habits he developed when he was a teen.

When he was 16, he got into a nasty car wreck, he started selling dope to pay his medical bills cuz his Mama couldn't pay them. And he started using drugs as well...he met BM during this time and for about 5 years they lived that lifestyle. They both cleaned up their act when she got pregnant.

Ok skip forward to last year we had a newborn at home as well as SD half the time. DH had ben having trouble with his back so he told me that his "friend" gave him these pain pills but that it would work faster if he smoked them and told me they were called "shards". Well I don't know anything about these kind of thing so I took his wword on it. But then he smoked it in the bathroom from a glass pipe and it smelled horrid and I just had a bad feeling so I looked up the name and found out it was another name for meth.

I flipped out, and told him he could never do it again. But he did, and I threatened to leave with his son and to tell BM what he wa doing. She was going through her own issues ( she didn't take us getting married and having a baby well) & she was trying to take custody away from DH. That scared him, and he hasn't touched that stuff (that I know of) since.

Well a couple weeks ago he started hanging out with new co-workers and he brop drugs into our house, idk what it was, he wouldnt tell me. It was in pill form that he took a hand gater to and put it in the oven, then snorted it. He's been going through withdrawals and I'm pretty sure he has more.

Should I tell BM about whats been going on? He has done some pretty messed up things like while he was still high he got drunk off his ass and started a fight with me and then tried to leave with SD, she knew not to go anywhere with daddy while he was drunk so he tried to pick up and force her to go. I threatened to call the cops.

BM and DH and I all been on good terms on custody and visitation. I've got my foot basicly out the door, and I have quite a bit of evidence against DH. The only reason I havent left yet is cuz im worried what will happrn here with both kids while im not around.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:29 PM
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Replies (1-7):
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:39 PM

You need to tell bm and you need to kick him out,  people don't just stop doing meth,  he's addicted.

by Buzz Lightyear on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:40 PM

I hate being the one to say this, especially since my exes are doing something similar to me, but having her on your side and you on hers could benefit both of you and in my opinion your kids. I say that only becuase I have a zero drug tolerance.

and before I get bashed, my exes teamed up against me to make me look like a 'black widow' rather than doing it out of need for hte children. one of them ironically needed the other one to make him look good.

by Platinum Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:41 PM

Please tell her and then remove yourself from his life.  Nothing good can come out of raising a child with a drug abuser.

by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:43 PM

that's a no win situation, but I would feel responsible if something happened and I hadn't said anything to BM.  it's her child that is directly affected, and I would be more than pissed if I were in her shoes and sending my child to visitation with someone who was on meth.  that shit's nasty, and I speak from experience.

by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:44 PM
1 mom liked this
YES. tell birth mother.
YES. leave his ass.

meth is NASTY. don't waste a minute on a meth addict.
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by Ruby Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:48 PM

Leave him & tell her. If my ex husband was doing something like that, I would hope someone would tell me. 

by Gold Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:51 PM

You should take your son and leave and then tell BM. You could both work together to make sure he has supervised visitations with both children and to see that he's randomly drug tested.

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