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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

How do I handle this?

Posted by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:17 AM
  • 49 Replies
My fiancé does not manage his money well at all. He's a very spendy person, he overdraws his bank account on a regular basis and we are talking about a man who makes 6 figures.

He gets new credit cards all the time and runs those up as well. He got an express credit card over the weekend and had already ran that up and this is a man that has about 3x the clothes I have. He also was approved for a target card and I can see him running that up as soon as it comes in. He ha several, I think 7, major cc and every single one is maxed out.

I'm not perfect, I have one cc that is maxed out and that's it. I spend frivolously but nothing like he does.

I don't want to be dealing with his major debt when we get married in a few months, I hate to sound like a kid but its not fair. I don't wear anything from express and I don't want to be the one dealing with the bills and such.

How do I get him on a budget and stick with it? There is no excuse a man that makes 200,000+ a year overdraws his damn bank account and has to borrow 100 bucks from me to fix it, I make 52,000 and I have better control over my money.

So what do I do? How do I get him to see we can't, and I won't, live like that?


------
Update, sorta

So he just called and I talked to him a bit and he admitted he has a problem and I suggested the Dave Ramsey books and he seemed receptive and he admitted that right now things are worse because he's dealing with a lot of family problems.

I'm going to research the Dave Ramsey books/series and the online budget someone suggested and hopefully this will help us both.
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by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:17 AM
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Replies (1-10):
GibsonSD92
by Silver Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:19 AM
Woooow, I don't even know what to say to that. I'm sorry hun but I hope a bump will get you some good advice.. Good luck!
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:20 AM
Can you get one bank account he cant touch and he gets a cash allowance?
elephantmamaof2
by Ruby Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:20 AM

I recommed buying some of Dave Ramsey's books for him!

Roxygurl
by Emerald Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:20 AM
I did mention that but he balked and he would just use the damn credit cards and open new ones.

Quoting Anonymous:

Can you get one bank account he cant touch and he gets a cash allowance?
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anotherhalf
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:21 AM
Does he have any desire to change?
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spooky415
by Ruby Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:21 AM
he sounds like he has a shopping addiction.
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Roxygurl
by Emerald Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:21 AM
I have seen those, and they do have the seminars here that we could attend.

Quoting elephantmamaof2:

I recommed buying some of Dave Ramsey's books for him!

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ksueditz
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:21 AM
My dh is this way also. We went to counseling. A third party, told him what needs to be done, and it didn't make him feel like I was nagging. I now control the accounts in our home, and our money situation has improved amazingly. It's been 7 years and we are still fixing some things but we are no longer on the brink of bankruptcy.
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Roxygurl
by Emerald Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:22 AM
Only when he looks at his bank account and its overdrawn or the cc bills come due and he has no money to pay them.

Quoting anotherhalf:

Does he have any desire to change?
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kryptomom
by Gold Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:22 AM

Kinda late to be worrying now.  He won't change in only a couple of months.

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