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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Idk how it got this bad :( ETA: Question in Red

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 44 Replies

I gave birth 5 months ago to twins and ever since I just have no motivation at all to do anything but take care of my kids. All I do is cook and teach and interact with them, but I don't do anything else. 

Some days I forget to eat all day long till I get shaky at night, then I remember. Some days I forget to shower, sometimes for 2 or 3 days in a row and don't even realize it till my hair gets greasy. 

Nothing makes me smile except for my kids. Nothing makes me mad except for my kids. I feel almost nothing for anyone else; my husband, my family, my friends... I couldn't care less if I don't speak to another adult.

I can't get motivated to clean my house. There are toys everywhere, unfolded clothes piling up in baskets because I don't care to fold them and put them away after I take them out of the dryer. 

I cry myself to sleep every night and cry harder when I try to figure out what I'm crying about to begin with and can't think of anything... and I can't bring myself to leave the house for anything other than grocery shopping and find excuses for people to not come over and not to go visit them.

We were supposed to have a Walking Dead viewing party and I lied and told my friends that our cable was on the fritz and I don't even charge my cell phone because I don't want to talk to anyone, and if it isn't charged it just goes to voicemail and if anyone asks, I can say my daughter lost it.

This morning it just hit me, I haven't actually cleaned anything other than the dishes and the bathroom in months. I pick up, and I vacuum once a week or so, but I haven't actually cleaned. I wake up saying that I will clean this or that room and then I just don't do it... I think I use the kids as an excuse too because I'm always rushing to them every time they cry out just a little, rather than just let them fuss for a few minutes while I clean.

Idk what to do, even as I write this I'm sitting here crying, I cry all the time... I have a beautiful life and a lovely family so why am I so sad and unmotivated? I don't understand, but I'm afraid its going to ruin my life and even though I know I need to change it, I don't know how and I don't know whats wrong.

If its PPD, will I have to stop breastfeeding to go on medication?

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 11, 2013 at 2:28 PM
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Replies (1-10):
spooky415
by Ruby Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 2:29 PM
1 mom liked this
its PPD. go see someone and they'll help you. but you HAVE to go see someone.

when my son was first born i had terrible ppd and truly, i wouldn't say i was better until 6 months later. i didnt get out of bed, i didnt eat. i didnt do anything.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 11, 2013 at 2:30 PM
2 moms liked this
Ppd is real. You need to talk to your doctor
ayacocca
by Bronze Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 2:30 PM
Have you considered therapy? it sounds like post partum perhaps. Trust me, depression is easy to spiral out of control.
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km1970
by Platinum Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 2:30 PM

 Sounds like you may have ppd. Please talk to your dr. and get some help.

Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Feb. 11, 2013 at 2:32 PM

YOU need to talk to your OB ASAP. YOU may be suffering from PPD. Go and get help now

Good Luck

Nicole1357
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 2:36 PM

Like everyone else said go talk to your doctor!! You will feel so much better! :) 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 11, 2013 at 2:36 PM

What can they do for PPD? I'm breastfeeding, so I don't think I can take meds.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 11, 2013 at 2:40 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 11, 2013 at 2:48 PM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 11, 2013 at 2:49 PM

yes with the crying it sounds like PPD. if you want to avoid med a little longer, and feel that they'd put you on it while you're bf, you could wait till they're 6 months old. some of the other things you mentioned i experienced with regard to just wanting to be near my baby constantly and not wanting visitors. you're probably exhausted also. i would make sure you try to make yourself take a shower, eat and sleep, just the basics. if you like, sleep in your twins room with them to be near them. i have a long history of depression and medicine is what gets me, personally, out of it when it comes on. if you feel stressed over the breastmilk you could pump and store some if you want but don't be hard on yourself. i would not worry about the chores and don't invite people if you're not up to it. best of luck. i'm glad you recognized something was wrong. you will feel better soon, there's an end to it, medication or not, you will come out of it.

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