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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

SO on drugs?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 66 Replies
Have u had to deal with this .... What type of drugs and how long have they been on it .... How did u get help ....

*** this is my reason for this post ......It's so hard I known for 1 year now no one in the family knows what goes on in our life or house. he uses (crystal) he has a job where they drug test him so he only uses it on the weekend not all the time he tries to go two weeks off to weeks on. But sometimes is the whole month on. He said he finally told me cuz he could tell I was getting tired of thing and he said that by telling me he wouldn't want to as much but thing haven't really change . I think his an addiction cuz he needs it on the weekend. His a great dad, provider, and good hubby when his clean . :-/ I'm sorry I'm in tears right now . Because this is the first time I have spoken of this.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 11, 2013 at 4:41 PM
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 11, 2013 at 4:46 PM

I have not had to deal with drugs, but we have had to deal with alcohol. He quit on his own, and he doesn't drink at all, except the occasional (at most once a year) beer, and it's only one. I don't drink at all. No alcohol around. If my parents or someone is having a beer at their home, and they offer, he easily can turn it down now. His poison was wiskey. Thank God nobody drinks that that we are around. He is a strong man.

It was a bad time, and we dealt with it because he was always getting angry. He was very mean. I told him I was gone if he didn't stop. He didn't and the kids and I left. He stopped after that and we worked it out. His dad is an alcoholic too. He still is an alcoholic, as anyone who previously was still is, it's a life long battle, but luckily, he's a VERY strong man.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 11, 2013 at 4:54 PM
1 mom liked this

I was married to a drug addict. I had to leave him eventually. We were married for 5 years. He always said he would stop but he never could or did. He was in many different programs. It started on one drug but moved to any and all. Finally, he told me that "he never loved anything more than me except drugs". Ok well I can't compete with that. He made his choice, wish he had told me sooner so my ds and I wouldnt have had to go through so much pain. Today he is still an addict, he is lots of times homeless, or living with a few other addicts in a nasty apartment. 

I do hope your dh is stronger and is able to put you ahead of his addiction. I have to believe it is possible, but the addcit has to want it and fight for his sobriety. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 11, 2013 at 5:03 PM
Quoting Anonymous:

I was married to a drug addict. I had to leave him eventually. We were married for 5 years. He always said he would stop but he never could or did. He was in many different programs. It started on one drug but moved to any and all. Finally, he told me that "he never loved anything more than me except drugs". Ok well I can't compete with that. He made his choice, wish he had told me sooner so my ds and I wouldnt have had to go through so much pain. Today he is still an addict, he is lots of times homeless, or living with a few other addicts in a nasty apartment. 

I do hope your dh is stronger and is able to put you ahead of his addiction. I have to believe it is possible, but the addcit has to want it and fight for his sobriety. 




Thank u for sharing ..... The only pain that I get is that when his on it ... He doesn't pay attention to me ... I sleep alone on those days ... And makes me feel unwanted ... But know that I know what's going on its not so painful ....
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 13, 2013 at 8:26 AM

BUMP!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Feb. 13, 2013 at 8:27 AM

He smoked pot but we both did and it was before ds sooooo it didn't really have anything to deal with...

Mamasgirl524
by Platinum Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 8:29 AM
1 mom liked this
Alcohol. It was bad. One big fight and the police we're called. He was removed from our apartment and when he sobered up the next day he realized I was really done. He began calling around for help, and after a few days and help, I took him back. We've never been more happy. He's an amazing man who has done a complete 360!
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seegrace
by Bronze Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 8:32 AM

Does he want to quit?  What is he on?? I am not with an addict, but have had addicts in my life.  Unfortunately you can-not love him to sobriety.  He is going to have to want sobriety for himself.  Addiction AND the act of finding sobriety are both extremely selfish.  If he chooses sobriety, the good news is, as he is healing and recovering he can change into a wonderful man and father.  It's very rare though unfortunately.  Depending on how far his disease has progressed.  I suggest getting YOURSELF into al-anon or narc-anon for family, so you can learn how to cope and deal with it.  Addicts bring us into their sickness and we can become sick too (not sick like you will use drugs, but sick like co-dependent, caregiver, emotionally broken). 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:36 AM
Quoting seegrace:

Does he want to quit?  What is he on?? I am not with an addict, but have had addicts in my life.  Unfortunately you can-not love him to sobriety.  He is going to have to want sobriety for himself.  Addiction AND the act of finding sobriety are both extremely selfish.  If he chooses sobriety, the good news is, as he is healing and recovering he can change into a wonderful man and father.  It's very rare though unfortunately.  Depending on how far his disease has progressed.  I suggest getting YOURSELF into al-anon or narc-anon for family, so you can learn how to cope and deal with it.  Addicts bring us into their sickness and we can become sick too (not sick like you will use drugs, but sick like co-dependent, caregiver, emotionally broken). 




It's so hard I known for 1 year now no one in the family knows what goes on in our life or house he uses (crystal) he has a job where they drug test him so he only uses it on the weekend not all the time he tries to go two weeks off to weeks on. But sometimes is the whole month on. He said he finally told men cuz he could tell I was getting tired of thing and he said that by telling me he wouldn't want to as much but thing haven't really change . I can it an addiction cuz he needs it on the weekend. His a great dad, provider, and good hubby when his clean . :-/ I'm sorry I'm in tears right now . Because this is the first time I have spoken of this
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:37 AM
1 mom liked this

Alcohol.  Many years.  I got help thru alanon.


seegrace
by Bronze Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:29 PM
4 moms liked this

Sorry :(   There is a saying in NA/AA "our secrets keep us sick" and it's true.  He is hiding this from family/friends; he hid it from you.  BUT he did finally tell you so that might be the start of his recovery.  He needs to be outed and you need to keep an open dialogue about it with him.  The social, every weekend, type of addict is as rare as the lochness monster.  This problem will only get worse.      

Many have suggested alanon.  Please do a google search for some alanon meetings in your area ... it is anonymous.  Maybe even try and get him to an NA meeting as well.  From what I know meetings aren't for every addict - but he will need some kind of support.  Most important - YOU will need it.  The alanon meetings are designed for family and loved ones of addicts.  They've been through it, they can give advice, guidance, support.  Good luck!  Try to stay strong be positive.  You can love him, without supporting his decision to keep using. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting seegrace:

Does he want to quit?  What is he on?? I am not with an addict, but have had addicts in my life.  Unfortunately you can-not love him to sobriety.  He is going to have to want sobriety for himself.  Addiction AND the act of finding sobriety are both extremely selfish.  If he chooses sobriety, the good news is, as he is healing and recovering he can change into a wonderful man and father.  It's very rare though unfortunately.  Depending on how far his disease has progressed.  I suggest getting YOURSELF into al-anon or narc-anon for family, so you can learn how to cope and deal with it.  Addicts bring us into their sickness and we can become sick too (not sick like you will use drugs, but sick like co-dependent, caregiver, emotionally broken). 




It's so hard I known for 1 year now no one in the family knows what goes on in our life or house he uses (crystal) he has a job where they drug test him so he only uses it on the weekend not all the time he tries to go two weeks off to weeks on. But sometimes is the whole month on. He said he finally told men cuz he could tell I was getting tired of thing and he said that by telling me he wouldn't want to as much but thing haven't really change . I can it an addiction cuz he needs it on the weekend. His a great dad, provider, and good hubby when his clean . :-/ I'm sorry I'm in tears right now . Because this is the first time I have spoken of this


 

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