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serious question for people that have been in ling term relationships.... help!!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 27 Replies
Ok, so me and so have been together for 4 and half years.we have a great relationship. He's my best friend, and our sex life (when we have it) is still pretty good. But I've noticed a lot the last few months that were more like friends rather then in a relationship. I know everyone gets comfortable and what not. But we don't seem like were dating. I know it sounds dumb but I just need to know its not abnormal for us to be acting like friends.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
beeky
by Gold Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:31 PM
3 moms liked this

It's unrealistic to expect a long term relationship to feel like dating all the time.  Work, bills and children take their toll.  Cultivating the friendship forges a deep emotional bond.

chas1217
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:34 PM

I've been with df for 5 years and we've had this problem. I've just told him that it feels like we're roomates and nothing more. Then we both work on doing things to improve it. I do think it's normal though. But I wish it could always be like the new relationship, always getting butterflies and all that good stuff when the newness is still there.

Susie19
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:34 PM

I've been feeling like that lately as well.  We've been together for 5 and a half years.  It's getting boring and annoying, but I'm very outspoken and when I tell him we NEED to go out and do something he usually agrees...but yeah it can be a sucky feeling.  :(

ardiaxe
by Silver Member on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:36 PM

Yeah that's normal.  

momwith2monkeys
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:39 PM
Are you two living together? If so its not abnormal.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:40 PM
I mean I don't expect butterflies all the time. Shit that went away when we moved in together after 4 months bc we found out we were pregnant. Lol.


Quoting chas1217:

I've been with df for 5 years and we've had this problem. I've just told him that it feels like we're roomates and nothing more. Then we both work on doing things to improve it. I do think it's normal though. But I wish it could always be like the new relationship, always getting butterflies and all that good stuff when the newness is still there.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:41 PM
Yes we have been since the beginning. We moved in together at like 4 months


Quoting momwith2monkeys:

Are you two living together? If so its not abnormal.

chas1217
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:43 PM

Lol. I told df once that I think that is sometimes part of the reason that people cheat, to get the excitement and "new" feeling back for awhile. Cause really that's the best feeling. I do hate getting into the friendship slump, I don't expect it to be new forever but I want it to feel like something more than friends. When we get like that we try thingslike little notes, posting on each others fb wall, going on a date night, stuff like that usually helps us.

xboybrksgrlx
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:44 PM
My dh and I started feeling like that. We took a cruise to get us back. Just spending time together helps. Without the kid/s. sorry momma. It happens to the best of us.
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k.stark
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 11:50 PM

There is this book called happily married with kids it's not a fairy tale... It's not just for married people... it is for anyone in a long term relationship with kids..... or without even.... every relationship goes through fazes.... yours is totally normal....  :) DH and I have been together for 10 years. :)

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