He got a v without telling his wife.
- 244 Replies
I support him.
I tell my husband about the posts on here where women intentionally get pregnant without telling their spouse. He realizes that some women are crazy so he told his friend to be careful when his friend told him his wife was busting his balls recently about having a kid.
He told her in no circumstance did he want kids before they got married so he ran out and got the vasectomy. I can see his wife tricking him. She's the type who will do what it takes to get what she wants. I think she's always wanted kids so she waited until she landed her dream husband at whatever cost it took to land him and now she will do whatever it takes to get pregnant.
Our state technically requires spousal consent and he told the Dr. he was married but also said that it was his body and like women he should have the autonomy to make his own medicinal consent. I support him doing this. He doesn't want kids, our kids are cool on occasion to him but not what he wants in his life.
I don't feel sorry for his wife. It's not fair to say, "Oh I don't want kids" and six months later change your mind.
He did both of the follow ups and both were clean. He's also only having sex with her when she's on her period, lol or right before it starts.... and he's still using condoms. I doubt it will happen. He's waiting for her to divorce him.
Quoting Punkslilncs:My brother did this and his wife was like honey good news we are pregnant, he replied with NO we aren't called her every name under the book, only to force a paternity test, and then later on realize that his didn't fully take and the child was his and now they have LOADS of issues other than the name calling and such cause now she wants to go out and act wild as he thought she was, it's always best to be honest. And check your facts before name calling.
He is waiting on her to file.
Quoting kirita323:Nothing wrong with it, but I don't see their marriage lasting. And I don't see a problem with divorce either though. He shouldn't be forced to have a kid he doesn't want, and neither should a woman.
Well, people change their mind. It's life, it happens. Why her changing her mind about children is such a horrible surprise is baffling. Otherwise, what a disaster of a relationship. I've never bought how men can be "tricked" into getting their SO/wife, whatever, pregnant anyway. It's beyond stupid. In no way am I saying it's all right to tell a man you're on BC when you're really not because that is hugely wrong and only a bitch would do it. But seriously, if a man does not want children, he needs to use condoms or go out and have a vasectomy but he needs to actually be a man and tell his partner that he is having the surgery. If she doesn't like it, she can leave the relationship. But just like it's wrong to mislead a man about BC, it's wrong to go out and have surgery without telling her. And honestly, that's difficult to buy considering it's not an insiginificant surgery to have and if they are living together, there is no way in hell he could have that done and she doesn't find out.
Well then. She was in the wrong first. She shouldn't have led him on like that. She was stupid to think she could change his mind. This subject should have been discussed at length while dating. She was being dishonest and selfish.
While I think it was wrong of your dh to go talking with his friend about how women trick their dh into getting pregnant, in this case it was probably a good thing but the friend should have talked with his wife about it going to get a vasectomy and hoped she would be honest with him that she wanted kids.
This whole thing is messed up. It will be better if they do get a divorce unless some amazing therapist can get them to work it out.
Quoting Anonymous:Obviously, but he had no idea that she wanted kids. He would have been done with the relationship before proposing. She lied to him for five years and said she wanted no children. When the ink was dry she changed her mind. He isn't psychic unfortunately.
Quoting starbuckmom03:That is a marriage that never should have happened. Plain and simple.
He's sounding more and more like the problem. He's supposedly had surgery behind her back, which is deceitful, only having sex with her while she is on her period and he's using condoms all the while being a coward and waiting on her to divorce him, presumably so he doesn't look like the asshole he is. Hopefully she figures out what this loser is up to and divorces him.
Also, your defense of him is a bit disturbing.
Quoting Anonymous:
He did both of the follow ups and both were clean. He's also only having sex with her when she's on her period, lol or right before it starts.... and he's still using condoms. I doubt it will happen. He's waiting for her to divorce him.
Quoting Punkslilncs:
My brother did this and his wife was like honey good news we are pregnant, he replied with NO we aren't called her every name under the book, only to force a paternity test, and then later on realize that his didn't fully take and the child was his and now they have LOADS of issues other than the name calling and such cause now she wants to go out and act wild as he thought she was, it's always best to be honest. And check your facts before name calling.
yeah, but didn't he do the same thing you suspect she would have done. lied to get what he wanted (no kids).
Quoting 3xangel:
This. His concerns were very valid, but he went about doing it the wrong way. Once our son turns 16, we plan on letting him know that we will let him get a vasectomy and bank his sperm until he marries and then decides with his wife that they are ready to start a family. It is tough for guys and there ARE women who will intentionally scheme to get pregnant, so sometimes men have to do the extreme in order to have some say in the situation.
Quoting onethentwins:I don't give their marriage much hope.
Quoting Anonymous:He is waiting on her to file.
Quoting kirita323:Nothing wrong with it, but I don't see their marriage lasting. And I don't see a problem with divorce either though. He shouldn't be forced to have a kid he doesn't want, and neither should a woman.
That's the ugliest name everrrr!!!