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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

thinking of holding my son back

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
in school. currently he is seven and in first grade. I've been having problems with him. like Thursday he had homework in question form. he is asked to sound each letter out to attempt in blending them to hear the word. number was the word. granted its a bigger word however I ask him to sound it out. he did every letter correctly. then claimed he read the word tree. I then asked him to point out where the t wad. he pointed to the b. he just doesn't get it. then I got the reading fluency paper today. at this point in the year, he is expected to be reading 35-40 words per minute. My son is reading 27. at the end of the year he should be reading 60 words per minute. honestly at this point out is an unrealistic goal for him to set with less than 90 days of school. so I talked to his teacher, counselor and principal and they agree with me. what would you do
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 12, 2013 at 11:37 PM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:11 AM
She suggested it to me as well early I the school year and I refused. But at a parent teacher conference last week she has been writing stuff down he's doing. And honestly I'm scared she'll say I'm not helping him tonight fullest advantage. So I'll get him tested but he's NOT going on meds. I'm sorry I can't give my baby boy meds I give to 70 yr old ppl with hight blood pressure. Can't do it! Creating a routine w him and getting him involved in more social settings is what I want to try. And also a lot less video games.... :\

Quoting Anonymous:

Thanks. good luck to you also. My son's teacher in the beginning of the year mentioned adhd testing and I flat out refused. I told her no. we aren't going to medicate him for something one person believes he has. Not to mention boss are taught from an early age to be rowdy and rambunctious.




Quoting Anonymous:

I know how you feel! My son is also 7 and in 1st grade he isn't so much behind. But he's having trouble focusing and staying on task :( makes me sad. His teacher and I are what seems like in constant communication and she suggest I get him tested for ADHD (of course). My aunt is a teacher and so were my grandparents and they think he's bored but idk... It's so hard!! I don't want him falling behind and he isn't as if now but I need to figure out something to help him. As a nurse I'd rather not put him on meds. I'm just honesty lost Good luck to you!! :)

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:12 AM
Have you had him evaluated for anything? If he can correctly sound out the word but thinks it's an ENTIRELY different word, it kind of sounds like something's just not clicking right in his mind. If that's the case, holding him back may not help much.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:13 AM

Very smart decision.  My mom fought the school because they wanted to hold me back in 1st grade, they passed me but I ended up failing 4th grade and it was so embarrassing.


Quoting Anonymous:

We held my daughter back in first grade and it was the best decision. Her main issue was also reading. She is now a top-of-her-class third grader!



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:19 AM
That's horrible! The school wanted to hold one of my brothers back in K but my mom refused. He ended up failing third grade. I think having to repeat a grade at that point was too cruel for him. He always struggled with school afterwards and sadly didn't finish high school:(


Quoting Anonymous:

Very smart decision.  My mom fought the school because they wanted to hold me back in 1st grade, they passed me but I ended up failing 4th grade and it was so embarrassing.



Quoting Anonymous:

We held my daughter back in first grade and it was the best decision. Her main issue was also reading. She is now a top-of-her-class third grader!





melakay1981
by Platinum Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:20 AM

If you do not feel he has ADHD do not even waste your time getting him tested.  The school tried pulling the same crap with my daughter when she was in 2nd grade.  I took her to see a psychiatrist and they gave me a prescription for Adderall.  I gave her one pill and I said I would NEVER give her another one.  She woke up sweating like crazy and she looked higher than a kite.  The only reason I did it was because I felt backed in a corner by the school, I pushed back and they finally left me alone about it.  3 years later we found out what was causing the behavioral problems....Oh she only had a cancerous brain tumor growing in her head.  Yeah everyone said she had ADHD.  They removed the tumor and all the problems disappeared.  I just wonder what effect the medication could have had on the tumor if I would have continued giving it to her.


Quoting Anonymous:

She suggested it to me as well early I the school year and I refused. But at a parent teacher conference last week she has been writing stuff down he's doing. And honestly I'm scared she'll say I'm not helping him tonight fullest advantage. So I'll get him tested but he's NOT going on meds. I'm sorry I can't give my baby boy meds I give to 70 yr old ppl with hight blood pressure. Can't do it! Creating a routine w him and getting him involved in more social settings is what I want to try. And also a lot less video games.... :\

Quoting Anonymous:

Thanks. good luck to you also. My son's teacher in the beginning of the year mentioned adhd testing and I flat out refused. I told her no. we aren't going to medicate him for something one person believes he has. Not to mention boss are taught from an early age to be rowdy and rambunctious.




Quoting Anonymous:

I know how you feel! My son is also 7 and in 1st grade he isn't so much behind. But he's having trouble focusing and staying on task :( makes me sad. His teacher and I are what seems like in constant communication and she suggest I get him tested for ADHD (of course). My aunt is a teacher and so were my grandparents and they think he's bored but idk... It's so hard!! I don't want him falling behind and he isn't as if now but I need to figure out something to help him. As a nurse I'd rather not put him on meds. I'm just honesty lost Good luck to you!! :)



horseap
by Gold Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:21 AM

 Ds is having trouble focusing in school.  Their spelling words this week are ai and ay words.  6 of each.  Then they have to write the two sentences give with a few of each words in them.  On top of all his math homework.  His school is CRAZY on top of them.  Im thinking about keeping DD back.  Shes 4 and will turn 5 July 1st.  She will be the young 5 in her class and I know things just arent clicking with her.

MamaCarterof5
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:21 AM

I pulled my son out of school after I realized he wasn't ready. We opted to homeschool. We use time4learning.com too in addition to our curriculum and it has helped my son so much. If taking him out of school is not an option, I highly sugget trying time4learning for a month or two. Its engaging for boys that age and it might help him... it's worth a shot!

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:23 AM

I did graduate high school but never had the courage to attempt college, I am too scared of failure.  Failing that year really took a toll on my self esteem.  Not only did I feel like a complete idiot but I got made fun of for it. 


Quoting Anonymous:

That's horrible! The school wanted to hold one of my brothers back in K but my mom refused. He ended up failing third grade. I think having to repeat a grade at that point was too cruel for him. He always struggled with school afterwards and sadly didn't finish high school:(


Quoting Anonymous:

Very smart decision.  My mom fought the school because they wanted to hold me back in 1st grade, they passed me but I ended up failing 4th grade and it was so embarrassing.



Quoting Anonymous:

We held my daughter back in first grade and it was the best decision. Her main issue was also reading. She is now a top-of-her-class third grader!







MamaCarterof5
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:24 AM


Quoting horseap:

 Ds is having trouble focusing in school.  Their spelling words this week are ai and ay words.  6 of each.  Then they have to write the two sentences give with a few of each words in them.  On top of all his math homework.  His school is CRAZY on top of them.  Im thinking about keeping DD back.  Shes 4 and will turn 5 July 1st.  She will be the young 5 in her class and I know things just arent clicking with her.

Here is what I tell friends who are afraid to hold their kids back. What have you got to lose? Would your rather your kid struggle, or, give them another year to grasp a better sure footing. This is the beginning of their education- why not give them the best start we can? I had to swallow my pride and pull my young 5 from school after I realize we started him too early. We ended up deciding to homeschool our kids shortly after that, but whether you decide to do that or not- there is nothing wrong with giving your little one another year to prepare.

Mama to my 8 little monkeys <3


Rlmama00
by Silver Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:24 AM

My ds was behind in reading and luckily his school had a program with the local senior center. They brought in reading specialists, basically retired reading teachers for the most part, that volunteered their time. It helped him so much. We had just moved to a new state and the teacher recommended retention but my gut said it was not the right choice for him. Three years later he is reading above his grade level. If you can, try to find help before jumping into holding him back.

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