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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

thinking of holding my son back

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
in school. currently he is seven and in first grade. I've been having problems with him. like Thursday he had homework in question form. he is asked to sound each letter out to attempt in blending them to hear the word. number was the word. granted its a bigger word however I ask him to sound it out. he did every letter correctly. then claimed he read the word tree. I then asked him to point out where the t wad. he pointed to the b. he just doesn't get it. then I got the reading fluency paper today. at this point in the year, he is expected to be reading 35-40 words per minute. My son is reading 27. at the end of the year he should be reading 60 words per minute. honestly at this point out is an unrealistic goal for him to set with less than 90 days of school. so I talked to his teacher, counselor and principal and they agree with me. what would you do
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 12, 2013 at 11:37 PM
Replies (31-40):
JasonsMom2007
by Silver Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:24 AM
You might also get his vision checked for a tracking issue.
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Kaybean
by Ruby Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:26 AM
I wouldn't hold him back. I would get him a tutor or try a Sylvan type program. Holding him back won't fix the prohlems.
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Aleta775
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:27 AM

I really wish that there was not such a negative stigma about being retained. It can be very beneficial for a student to have the review and learn skills that they missed the first time around. People focus too much on being retained as some kind of failure when that is not really the case. Students should be retained a lot more than are. I wish that people could get past what they THINK it means versus what it really is. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:29 AM
I'm so sorry for you. My brother was made fun of a lot, too. As he got older, he started fighting all the people he made fun of. He was a mess.

We changed schools for my daughter when we held her back not only for this reason but also because the school she was at before definitely was not up to par.


Quoting Anonymous:

I did graduate high school but never had the courage to attempt college, I am too scared of failure.  Failing that year really took a toll on my self esteem.  Not only did I feel like a complete idiot but I got made fun of for it. 



Quoting Anonymous:

That's horrible! The school wanted to hold one of my brothers back in K but my mom refused. He ended up failing third grade. I think having to repeat a grade at that point was too cruel for him. He always struggled with school afterwards and sadly didn't finish high school:(





Quoting Anonymous:

Very smart decision.  My mom fought the school because they wanted to hold me back in 1st grade, they passed me but I ended up failing 4th grade and it was so embarrassing.




Quoting Anonymous:

We held my daughter back in first grade and it was the best decision. Her main issue was also reading. She is now a top-of-her-class third grader!











o0gone0o
by Silver Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:29 AM

My sister was failing reading in 2nd grade which is more like todays first grade work.  Turned out she had a reading comprehension issue. Once they figured out the issue they were able to work with her and she graduated on the honor roll. 

She required a little extra time for some tests, and occasionally needed a question read out loud to process what it was asking. She could read but it got all jumbled up. They thought about holding her back until they discovered the issue, they discovered it after my mom pushed the issue because she didn't think it would be a good idea for her and I to be in the same grade.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:30 AM
Keep makin it fun. My baby didn't understand how words/sounds worked either. She's abt to be 9 and loves the Goosebumps series! We used to love our word wall. We painted a fairy garden on our kitchen wall and had almost a full pack of index cards taped all over it.

Don't stress...it will affect his confidence if he sees that. I asked that my DD be held back 2 yrs in a row...I ended up homeschooling during summers and after school because they wouldn't. My oldest picked up reading and comprehension fast with no issues. It was hard but taught me patience...that child use to make me want to have 2yo-worthy tantrums during our reading sessions.

Quoting Anonymous:

No one that I know of. I have a nine year old dd who tries to help him but he doesn't want her "bossing" him around lol. She sincerely tries. I also try to make learning fun with games like hop scotch on sight words, I put them on the wall on index cards and he shoots the word with his nerf gun. we also spell with him every night and use snacks to create letters.




Quoting Lorelai_Nicole:

Do you know any older kids, maybe neighbors, who would be willing to tutor him?

horseap
by Gold Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:31 AM

 DH and I have already talked about hold DD back.  I was 17 when I graduated, I pick up things quickly.  Its hard for me to see her NOT get these things.  With DS he was stuck on this same hump.  It wasnt until the summer before he started school that you could just SEE him start to sort everything out and put it in its place.  I know how DSs school is and the kinder teachers are great.  But I know their curriculum is advanced for being a public school.  If things do fall in place for her like they did with DS then I wont have a problem with her starting kinder in the fall.  But I wont let her flounder because she "should" start then.  Even if I did hold her back she would be 6 the whole year like other kids would be(5 turning 6).  I never doubt her though she is a tough cookie and surprises us all the time!

Quoting MamaCarterof5:


Quoting horseap:

 Ds is having trouble focusing in school.  Their spelling words this week are ai and ay words.  6 of each.  Then they have to write the two sentences give with a few of each words in them.  On top of all his math homework.  His school is CRAZY on top of them.  Im thinking about keeping DD back.  Shes 4 and will turn 5 July 1st.  She will be the young 5 in her class and I know things just arent clicking with her.

Here is what I tell friends who are afraid to hold their kids back. What have you got to lose? Would your rather your kid struggle, or, give them another year to grasp a better sure footing. This is the beginning of their education- why not give them the best start we can? I had to swallow my pride and pull my young 5 from school after I realize we started him too early. We ended up deciding to homeschool our kids shortly after that, but whether you decide to do that or not- there is nothing wrong with giving your little one another year to prepare.

 



Lilypie Breastfeeding tickers
Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:33 AM

Honestly you made a great decision changing schools, I wish my parents would have done the same thing.  My parents are great, do not get me wrong, but this is one thing they screwed up pretty bad on.


Quoting Anonymous:

I'm so sorry for you. My brother was made fun of a lot, too. As he got older, he started fighting all the people he made fun of. He was a mess.

We changed schools for my daughter when we held her back not only for this reason but also because the school she was at before definitely was not up to par.


Quoting Anonymous:

I did graduate high school but never had the courage to attempt college, I am too scared of failure.  Failing that year really took a toll on my self esteem.  Not only did I feel like a complete idiot but I got made fun of for it. 



Quoting Anonymous:

That's horrible! The school wanted to hold one of my brothers back in K but my mom refused. He ended up failing third grade. I think having to repeat a grade at that point was too cruel for him. He always struggled with school afterwards and sadly didn't finish high school:(





Quoting Anonymous:

Very smart decision.  My mom fought the school because they wanted to hold me back in 1st grade, they passed me but I ended up failing 4th grade and it was so embarrassing.




Quoting Anonymous:

We held my daughter back in first grade and it was the best decision. Her main issue was also reading. She is now a top-of-her-class third grader!













LADYxGHOST
by Bronze Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:33 AM

I am not sure if words per minute should be a reason to hold a child back. Does he read the words properly? comprahend the words? My son's reading words per minute was below "standard" til this day. His reading level is 3 grade levels above his grade. 

kgsharber
by Gold Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:36 AM

 He is in first grade? That is bizarre to me that they are not farther along than that 40 words per minute. Not to sound harsh, but my kindergardener's class is doing more advanced work than that. His class is expected to be reading Dr. Suess type books (15-20 pages, 3-6 sentences per page) beginning to end with almost no help. In first grade my (now second grader) was beginning chapter books. Sentences here is almost done in Kindergarden.

My second grader is doing paragraph form math problems right now. So the paragraph may require a multiplication, addition, subtraction, or division problem to be made from reading and understanding the text. I would say work like hell with him and reassess the situation in July, before school starts.

You can really come a long way if you continue to teach him through out the summer. Don't give up, but stay realisitic because school is very difficult now!

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