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thinking of holding my son back

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
in school. currently he is seven and in first grade. I've been having problems with him. like Thursday he had homework in question form. he is asked to sound each letter out to attempt in blending them to hear the word. number was the word. granted its a bigger word however I ask him to sound it out. he did every letter correctly. then claimed he read the word tree. I then asked him to point out where the t wad. he pointed to the b. he just doesn't get it. then I got the reading fluency paper today. at this point in the year, he is expected to be reading 35-40 words per minute. My son is reading 27. at the end of the year he should be reading 60 words per minute. honestly at this point out is an unrealistic goal for him to set with less than 90 days of school. so I talked to his teacher, counselor and principal and they agree with me. what would you do
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 12, 2013 at 11:37 PM
Replies (41-50):
Kaybean
by Ruby Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:49 AM
I'm sorry that happened to your dd, but that isn't typical. I know ADHD is diagnosed too quickly, but that shouldn't mean parents flat out refuse to consider it when their child is struggling. If a child is struggling, EVERY possibility should be considered. My oldest son has ADHD. They saw the signs when he was in preschool and his K, 1st, 2nd and 3rd teachers all said he same. In 3rd grade, we finally decided to have him tested for ADHD and not only did his pediatrician agree, so did we. We first tried stress balls and certain things and jt didn't work. Then we tried a natural ADHD diet and supplements and that didn't work and we finally resorted to Adderall when he fell so far behind in 3rd grade,fever. He's in 5th grade now and is doing amazing. The meds made a night and day difference for him. My point is, Adderall isn't all bad. It really can be great for some kids, and she should cinsider all possibilities and not just automatically rule anything out. My son has zero issues with Adderall. No sweats, no headaches, nothing.


Quoting melakay1981:

If you do not feel he has ADHD do not even waste your time getting him tested.  The school tried pulling the same crap with my daughter when she was in 2nd grade.  I took her to see a psychiatrist and they gave me a prescription for Adderall.  I gave her one pill and I said I would NEVER give her another one.  She woke up sweating like crazy and she looked higher than a kite.  The only reason I did it was because I felt backed in a corner by the school, I pushed back and they finally left me alone about it.  3 years later we found out what was causing the behavioral problems....Oh she only had a cancerous brain tumor growing in her head.  Yeah everyone said she had ADHD.  They removed the tumor and all the problems disappeared.  I just wonder what effect the medication could have had on the tumor if I would have continued giving it to her.



Quoting Anonymous:

She suggested it to me as well early I the school year and I refused. But at a parent teacher conference last week she has been writing stuff down he's doing. And honestly I'm scared she'll say I'm not helping him tonight fullest advantage. So I'll get him tested but he's NOT going on meds. I'm sorry I can't give my baby boy meds I give to 70 yr old ppl with hight blood pressure. Can't do it! Creating a routine w him and getting him involved in more social settings is what I want to try. And also a lot less video games.... :\



Quoting Anonymous:

Thanks. good luck to you also. My son's teacher in the beginning of the year mentioned adhd testing and I flat out refused. I told her no. we aren't going to medicate him for something one person believes he has. Not to mention boss are taught from an early age to be rowdy and rambunctious.







Quoting Anonymous:

I know how you feel! My son is also 7 and in 1st grade he isn't so much behind. But he's having trouble focusing and staying on task :( makes me sad. His teacher and I are what seems like in constant communication and she suggest I get him tested for ADHD (of course). My aunt is a teacher and so were my grandparents and they think he's bored but idk... It's so hard!! I don't want him falling behind and he isn't as if now but I need to figure out something to help him. As a nurse I'd rather not put him on meds. I'm just honesty lost Good luck to you!! :)






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briansmommy2010
by Ruby Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:55 AM
I'm sure as a nurse you probably already know this, but if he truly does have ADHD, and you don't want him medicated, you can try giving him a bit of caffeine. For somebody with ADHD, caffeine will actually have the opposite effect, ans help them to focus better.

Quoting Anonymous:

She suggested it to me as well early I the school year and I refused. But at a parent teacher conference last week she has been writing stuff down he's doing. And honestly I'm scared she'll say I'm not helping him tonight fullest advantage. So I'll get him tested but he's NOT going on meds. I'm sorry I can't give my baby boy meds I give to 70 yr old ppl with hight blood pressure. Can't do it! Creating a routine w him and getting him involved in more social settings is what I want to try. And also a lot less video games.... :\



Quoting Anonymous:

Thanks. good luck to you also. My son's teacher in the beginning of the year mentioned adhd testing and I flat out refused. I told her no. we aren't going to medicate him for something one person believes he has. Not to mention boss are taught from an early age to be rowdy and rambunctious.






Quoting Anonymous:

I know how you feel! My son is also 7 and in 1st grade he isn't so much behind. But he's having trouble focusing and staying on task :( makes me sad. His teacher and I are what seems like in constant communication and she suggest I get him tested for ADHD (of course). My aunt is a teacher and so were my grandparents and they think he's bored but idk... It's so hard!! I don't want him falling behind and he isn't as if now but I need to figure out something to help him. As a nurse I'd rather not put him on meds. I'm just honesty lost Good luck to you!! :)

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briansmommy2010
by Ruby Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:58 AM
Schools are definitely much tougher than we were when we were kids, IMO. In a lot of ways,I'm thankful that my son's birthday falls 3 days after the cutoff, so he will have an extra year to prepare before starting K (especially now that he's having a lot of developmental delays, that extra year will do wonders for him).

Quoting horseap:

 Ds is having trouble focusing in school.  Their spelling words this week are ai and ay words.  6 of each.  Then they have to write the two sentences give with a few of each words in them.  On top of all his math homework.  His school is CRAZY on top of them.  Im thinking about keeping DD back.  Shes 4 and will turn 5 July 1st.  She will be the young 5 in her class and I know things just arent clicking with her.

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TAG_ur_it
by Gold Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:02 AM

i held my son back in 1st grade. but i didn't make the decision until the last week of school when i got his report card and a teacher conference.  

he's in 5th grade now  he has had major improvements this year, especially with reading.  he jumped 3 grade levels in a matter of months.  that is attributed to being read to. he developed a love for the story and finally made an effort to read on his own.  he's in after school tutoring 3-4 days per week. 2 for english 2 for math. math is his major difficulty. 

there are tons of online resources. fine one that is fun for him and that will make it much easier for him to learn. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:03 AM
I do know this but haven't tried it. My friend in school had ADHD and drank Mt Dew out the butt. I finally put 2 and 2 together years later lol. She was crazy hyper tho and I remember her being in different moods all the time. Thanks for your reply!

Quoting briansmommy2010:

I'm sure as a nurse you probably already know this, but if he truly does have ADHD, and you don't want him medicated, you can try giving him a bit of caffeine. For somebody with ADHD, caffeine will actually have the opposite effect, ans help them to focus better.



Quoting Anonymous:

She suggested it to me as well early I the school year and I refused. But at a parent teacher conference last week she has been writing stuff down he's doing. And honestly I'm scared she'll say I'm not helping him tonight fullest advantage. So I'll get him tested but he's NOT going on meds. I'm sorry I can't give my baby boy meds I give to 70 yr old ppl with hight blood pressure. Can't do it! Creating a routine w him and getting him involved in more social settings is what I want to try. And also a lot less video games.... :\





Quoting Anonymous:

Thanks. good luck to you also. My son's teacher in the beginning of the year mentioned adhd testing and I flat out refused. I told her no. we aren't going to medicate him for something one person believes he has. Not to mention boss are taught from an early age to be rowdy and rambunctious.








Quoting Anonymous:

I know how you feel! My son is also 7 and in 1st grade he isn't so much behind. But he's having trouble focusing and staying on task :( makes me sad. His teacher and I are what seems like in constant communication and she suggest I get him tested for ADHD (of course). My aunt is a teacher and so were my grandparents and they think he's bored but idk... It's so hard!! I don't want him falling behind and he isn't as if now but I need to figure out something to help him. As a nurse I'd rather not put him on meds. I'm just honesty lost Good luck to you!! :)

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:07 AM
Oh no! How horrible!! I'm so glad your DD is better. Thank god you stopped the meds! I honesty feel backed up in a corner. I wish my grandfather were still alive to get his opinion. He was a wonderful man who detected his life to education. I know he's be with me in those meetings so quick. My boyfriend who is my sons father doesn't want to get him tested. He said he was like that when he was younger and grew out if it. My fear is him falling behind and him with his classmates. I love him to pieces. I just want the best for him I'm sure understand.

Quoting melakay1981:

If you do not feel he has ADHD do not even waste your time getting him tested.  The school tried pulling the same crap with my daughter when she was in 2nd grade.  I took her to see a psychiatrist and they gave me a prescription for Adderall.  I gave her one pill and I said I would NEVER give her another one.  She woke up sweating like crazy and she looked higher than a kite.  The only reason I did it was because I felt backed in a corner by the school, I pushed back and they finally left me alone about it.  3 years later we found out what was causing the behavioral problems....Oh she only had a cancerous brain tumor growing in her head.  Yeah everyone said she had ADHD.  They removed the tumor and all the problems disappeared.  I just wonder what effect the medication could have had on the tumor if I would have continued giving it to her.



Quoting Anonymous:

She suggested it to me as well early I the school year and I refused. But at a parent teacher conference last week she has been writing stuff down he's doing. And honestly I'm scared she'll say I'm not helping him tonight fullest advantage. So I'll get him tested but he's NOT going on meds. I'm sorry I can't give my baby boy meds I give to 70 yr old ppl with hight blood pressure. Can't do it! Creating a routine w him and getting him involved in more social settings is what I want to try. And also a lot less video games.... :\



Quoting Anonymous:

Thanks. good luck to you also. My son's teacher in the beginning of the year mentioned adhd testing and I flat out refused. I told her no. we aren't going to medicate him for something one person believes he has. Not to mention boss are taught from an early age to be rowdy and rambunctious.







Quoting Anonymous:

I know how you feel! My son is also 7 and in 1st grade he isn't so much behind. But he's having trouble focusing and staying on task :( makes me sad. His teacher and I are what seems like in constant communication and she suggest I get him tested for ADHD (of course). My aunt is a teacher and so were my grandparents and they think he's bored but idk... It's so hard!! I don't want him falling behind and he isn't as if now but I need to figure out something to help him. As a nurse I'd rather not put him on meds. I'm just honesty lost Good luck to you!! :)





melakay1981
by Platinum Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:22 AM

Things like this are more common than you realize.  I am not one to quote Dr. Phil or anything like that but prior to all of this I wondered why anytime there was a kid on his show misbehaving he always said they where going to send that child for a complete MRI of his brain.  I never realized how many kids in the world are suffering from brain tumors.  Most people with brain tumors die in their sleep and the family does not know until the autopsy report comes back.  I am not saying all kids that are diagnosed with ADHD have brain tumors, but I do wonder how many are walking around with one and on medication for ADHD.


Quoting Kaybean:

I'm sorry that happened to your dd, but that isn't typical. I know ADHD is diagnosed too quickly, but that shouldn't mean parents flat out refuse to consider it when their child is struggling. If a child is struggling, EVERY possibility should be considered. My oldest son has ADHD. They saw the signs when he was in preschool and his K, 1st, 2nd and 3rd teachers all said he same. In 3rd grade, we finally decided to have him tested for ADHD and not only did his pediatrician agree, so did we. We first tried stress balls and certain things and jt didn't work. Then we tried a natural ADHD diet and supplements and that didn't work and we finally resorted to Adderall when he fell so far behind in 3rd grade,fever. He's in 5th grade now and is doing amazing. The meds made a night and day difference for him. My point is, Adderall isn't all bad. It really can be great for some kids, and she should cinsider all possibilities and not just automatically rule anything out. My son has zero issues with Adderall. No sweats, no headaches, nothing.


Quoting melakay1981:

If you do not feel he has ADHD do not even waste your time getting him tested.  The school tried pulling the same crap with my daughter when she was in 2nd grade.  I took her to see a psychiatrist and they gave me a prescription for Adderall.  I gave her one pill and I said I would NEVER give her another one.  She woke up sweating like crazy and she looked higher than a kite.  The only reason I did it was because I felt backed in a corner by the school, I pushed back and they finally left me alone about it.  3 years later we found out what was causing the behavioral problems....Oh she only had a cancerous brain tumor growing in her head.  Yeah everyone said she had ADHD.  They removed the tumor and all the problems disappeared.  I just wonder what effect the medication could have had on the tumor if I would have continued giving it to her.



Quoting Anonymous:

She suggested it to me as well early I the school year and I refused. But at a parent teacher conference last week she has been writing stuff down he's doing. And honestly I'm scared she'll say I'm not helping him tonight fullest advantage. So I'll get him tested but he's NOT going on meds. I'm sorry I can't give my baby boy meds I give to 70 yr old ppl with hight blood pressure. Can't do it! Creating a routine w him and getting him involved in more social settings is what I want to try. And also a lot less video games.... :\



Quoting Anonymous:

Thanks. good luck to you also. My son's teacher in the beginning of the year mentioned adhd testing and I flat out refused. I told her no. we aren't going to medicate him for something one person believes he has. Not to mention boss are taught from an early age to be rowdy and rambunctious.







Quoting Anonymous:

I know how you feel! My son is also 7 and in 1st grade he isn't so much behind. But he's having trouble focusing and staying on task :( makes me sad. His teacher and I are what seems like in constant communication and she suggest I get him tested for ADHD (of course). My aunt is a teacher and so were my grandparents and they think he's bored but idk... It's so hard!! I don't want him falling behind and he isn't as if now but I need to figure out something to help him. As a nurse I'd rather not put him on meds. I'm just honesty lost Good luck to you!! :)








melakay1981
by Platinum Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:26 AM

I think you have to do what you feel is right in your heart.  If you feel he needs medication then that is what you need to do, but if you have any doubt in your mind/heart do not do it.  I felt very strongly that I should not medicate my daughter, something in my gut just told me not to do it.  I know how it is to miss a grandparent, we lost my grandma about 4 months before my daughter was diagnosed with the cancer.  I think if she was still alive she would guide me through this.  I still have my mom and dad who are absolutely wonderful, but I feel like somedays I just need my grandma.


Quoting Anonymous:

Oh no! How horrible!! I'm so glad your DD is better. Thank god you stopped the meds! I honesty feel backed up in a corner. I wish my grandfather were still alive to get his opinion. He was a wonderful man who detected his life to education. I know he's be with me in those meetings so quick. My boyfriend who is my sons father doesn't want to get him tested. He said he was like that when he was younger and grew out if it. My fear is him falling behind and him with his classmates. I love him to pieces. I just want the best for him I'm sure understand.

Quoting melakay1981:

If you do not feel he has ADHD do not even waste your time getting him tested.  The school tried pulling the same crap with my daughter when she was in 2nd grade.  I took her to see a psychiatrist and they gave me a prescription for Adderall.  I gave her one pill and I said I would NEVER give her another one.  She woke up sweating like crazy and she looked higher than a kite.  The only reason I did it was because I felt backed in a corner by the school, I pushed back and they finally left me alone about it.  3 years later we found out what was causing the behavioral problems....Oh she only had a cancerous brain tumor growing in her head.  Yeah everyone said she had ADHD.  They removed the tumor and all the problems disappeared.  I just wonder what effect the medication could have had on the tumor if I would have continued giving it to her.



Quoting Anonymous:

She suggested it to me as well early I the school year and I refused. But at a parent teacher conference last week she has been writing stuff down he's doing. And honestly I'm scared she'll say I'm not helping him tonight fullest advantage. So I'll get him tested but he's NOT going on meds. I'm sorry I can't give my baby boy meds I give to 70 yr old ppl with hight blood pressure. Can't do it! Creating a routine w him and getting him involved in more social settings is what I want to try. And also a lot less video games.... :\



Quoting Anonymous:

Thanks. good luck to you also. My son's teacher in the beginning of the year mentioned adhd testing and I flat out refused. I told her no. we aren't going to medicate him for something one person believes he has. Not to mention boss are taught from an early age to be rowdy and rambunctious.







Quoting Anonymous:

I know how you feel! My son is also 7 and in 1st grade he isn't so much behind. But he's having trouble focusing and staying on task :( makes me sad. His teacher and I are what seems like in constant communication and she suggest I get him tested for ADHD (of course). My aunt is a teacher and so were my grandparents and they think he's bored but idk... It's so hard!! I don't want him falling behind and he isn't as if now but I need to figure out something to help him. As a nurse I'd rather not put him on meds. I'm just honesty lost Good luck to you!! :)







Tinabee88
by Platinum Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:28 AM

Holding kids back doesn't work. He needs a tutor so he can have one on one learning at his own pace.

Kaybean
by Ruby Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 12:49 PM

I just looked it up and it says that 1500 kids in the entire US are diagnosed with a brain tumor each year. That proves what I said that the reason for a child having difficulty in the class isn't typically because of a tumor. I realize that happened to YOUR dd, but that is very unlikely to be the case with others, considering it actually is quite rare. 1500 out of hundreds of thousands of kids isn't that much. With ADHD, nearly 1 in 10 kids is diagnosed with it. So ADHD is FAR more likely to be the issue. Now don't get me wrong, ADHD is diagnosed way too quickly and yes, some kids ARE diagnosed wrong, like your dd for example, but a brain tumor is NOT typical and the OP should not just assume ADHD can't be the cause. She should look at all possibilities before just ruling anything out. If she wanted to get her son checked for a brain tumor just to be sure, there's no harm in that either, but just because your dd had something rare, that doesn't mean ADHD shouldn't be looked into because that COULD very well be what her son has. Also, just because your dd didn't do well on the meds, doesn't mean other kids don't thrive off of it, like my 10 year old son for example.


Quoting melakay1981:

Things like this are more common than you realize.  I am not one to quote Dr. Phil or anything like that but prior to all of this I wondered why anytime there was a kid on his show misbehaving he always said they where going to send that child for a complete MRI of his brain.  I never realized how many kids in the world are suffering from brain tumors.  Most people with brain tumors die in their sleep and the family does not know until the autopsy report comes back.  I am not saying all kids that are diagnosed with ADHD have brain tumors, but I do wonder how many are walking around with one and on medication for ADHD.

 

Quoting Kaybean:

I'm sorry that happened to your dd, but that isn't typical. I know ADHD is diagnosed too quickly, but that shouldn't mean parents flat out refuse to consider it when their child is struggling. If a child is struggling, EVERY possibility should be considered. My oldest son has ADHD. They saw the signs when he was in preschool and his K, 1st, 2nd and 3rd teachers all said he same. In 3rd grade, we finally decided to have him tested for ADHD and not only did his pediatrician agree, so did we. We first tried stress balls and certain things and jt didn't work. Then we tried a natural ADHD diet and supplements and that didn't work and we finally resorted to Adderall when he fell so far behind in 3rd grade,fever. He's in 5th grade now and is doing amazing. The meds made a night and day difference for him. My point is, Adderall isn't all bad. It really can be great for some kids, and she should cinsider all possibilities and not just automatically rule anything out. My son has zero issues with Adderall. No sweats, no headaches, nothing.


Quoting melakay1981:

If you do not feel he has ADHD do not even waste your time getting him tested.  The school tried pulling the same crap with my daughter when she was in 2nd grade.  I took her to see a psychiatrist and they gave me a prescription for Adderall.  I gave her one pill and I said I would NEVER give her another one.  She woke up sweating like crazy and she looked higher than a kite.  The only reason I did it was because I felt backed in a corner by the school, I pushed back and they finally left me alone about it.  3 years later we found out what was causing the behavioral problems....Oh she only had a cancerous brain tumor growing in her head.  Yeah everyone said she had ADHD.  They removed the tumor and all the problems disappeared.  I just wonder what effect the medication could have had on the tumor if I would have continued giving it to her.

 


Quoting Anonymous:

She suggested it to me as well early I the school year and I refused. But at a parent teacher conference last week she has been writing stuff down he's doing. And honestly I'm scared she'll say I'm not helping him tonight fullest advantage. So I'll get him tested but he's NOT going on meds. I'm sorry I can't give my baby boy meds I give to 70 yr old ppl with hight blood pressure. Can't do it! Creating a routine w him and getting him involved in more social settings is what I want to try. And also a lot less video games.... :\



Quoting Anonymous:

Thanks. good luck to you also. My son's teacher in the beginning of the year mentioned adhd testing and I flat out refused. I told her no. we aren't going to medicate him for something one person believes he has. Not to mention boss are taught from an early age to be rowdy and rambunctious.







Quoting Anonymous:

I know how you feel! My son is also 7 and in 1st grade he isn't so much behind. But he's having trouble focusing and staying on task :( makes me sad. His teacher and I are what seems like in constant communication and she suggest I get him tested for ADHD (of course). My aunt is a teacher and so were my grandparents and they think he's bored but idk... It's so hard!! I don't want him falling behind and he isn't as if now but I need to figure out something to help him. As a nurse I'd rather not put him on meds. I'm just honesty lost Good luck to you!! :)


 


 


 

 


 

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