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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Is there anything that I can do??? How can I get her to stop??? (long)

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 12:59 AM
  • 23 Replies

 

Poll

Question: What should I do????

Options:

contact her and try to reason with her (adoptive mom)

nothing

sue for deflimation of character


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 14

View Results

back story....In 2004, I gave 3 of my kids (ages 10,8 and 5) up for adoption (they were in foster care (allegations were neglect)and my visits were stopped, it had been 1 1/2 years since I was able to see them, so it was either place them for adoption and allow the families that cared for them while they were in foster care adopt them or for the courts to terminate due to not seeing them for so long, very long story,  it was also determined that I was innocent of everything that I was accused of, but in the end the judges hands were tied). It was suppose to have been an open adoption, but I was not given any information other than that 2 kids went to one home and the oldest was still in the process of finding home and the name of the woman who adopted the youngest 2. I kept custody of my youngest who was 2. In 2008, my oldest son was murdered when he was 15, by the foster moms 12 year old nephew. His funeral was the first time i got to see them in over 4 years (I was able to have a good-bye visit in 2004). All my kids were at my sons funeral, I wrote a letter to the woman who adopted my youngest 2, told her that the judge ordered an open adoption and that there were suppose to be sibling visits between ALL the kids (the ones I had, plus all 3 that were suppose to have been adopted), after his funeral I received a letter with a picture of the 2 kids and that was all since.

Well, a few weeks ago I decided to do a search for my kids names online to see what I could find on my own (they are now 16, will be 17 in March and 13).I found a few things, there were 2 things that have me very pissed. There was a radio show archive that the adoptive mom did about adopting her kids (my kids) in it she states that my kids were severely physically abused (DID NOT HAPPEN), that I didn't love them (they were my life, I gave them up because I loved them and didn't want to hurt them by pulling them out of a home that they were use to and loved, the family was able to give them more than I could ever give them) then there was another archive from a different radio show and in  that one she stated that I was a known drug addict and a alcoholic (I have NEVER done drugs and have only drank alcohol about 6 times in the 19 years I've been a parent).

This woman is telling lies about me, none of these things were even an issue when the kids were in foster care but she is now telling these lies to my kids. The one thing that keeps me going is knowing that my kids know the truth about how things were when we were all together and I know in my heart that they will come back home when they are of age, but a part of me is also worried that the lies this woman is telling is going to keep them from wanting to find me.

At my sons funeral as soon as my daughter saw me walk in I watched her turn to my youngest son and heard her say "There's mommy!" She tried to get up to come to me but her "mom" stopped her, she did let them come to me after the funeral and allowed my 2 girls to sit with them during the funeral and at the luncheon after the funeral. The radio interviews were done shortly after that.

What she is doing is deflimation of character, but can I get her for that? How can I get her to stop telling these lies. It is in the court documents what the charges were and also that I was found innocent ( through polygraphs,witnesses and interviews with my kids, I had a crappy lawyer who did nothing to help me or defend me). So the things that she is saying is all lies (could be lies that the caseworker told her or lies that she is telling my kids to turn them against me).

Is there anything that I can do????

Please no bashing!!! I am going through enough and have been for several years.

Sorry so long!!!!

by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 12:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:05 AM
1 mom liked this

I didn't choose anything. All I can say is, talk to a lawyer and see if there is anything you can do. When were the radio shows aired? There may be a statute of limitation....

kgsharber
by Gold Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:07 AM

 Oh my goodness. Well, I know I would just let it go for now. I would not want her to take any of this out on my children or to make life for them any more difficult than it already is.

 

I really hope they come back home when they get older.

kgsharber
by Gold Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:09 AM

 I meant the radio/slander thing I would let go. As far as seeing the kids, I would try to be as nice and amicable as possible, but get a lawyer and communicate ONLY thru the lawyer.

Quoting kgsharber:

 Oh my goodness. Well, I know I would just let it go for now. I would not want her to take any of this out on my children or to make life for them any more difficult than it already is.

 

I really hope they come back home when they get older.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:10 AM
This is very tough. There probably is a good chance you could sue but like pp said is it going to make life harder for the kids. Will she end up taking her anger out on them. Such a sad thing to deal with. So sorry :(
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:11 AM
You could technically sue ... But you don't have damages.
Momof2angels88
by Gold Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:12 AM

 I think it aired in 2009, my son was murdered November 2008 and it was about a year or so after that because she was saying that my youngest son was having problems after his brother was killed and that she had to put him in a home for help. She put him in the same group home that the boy who killed my son was staying.


Quoting Anonymous:

I didn't choose anything. All I can say is, talk to a lawyer and see if there is anything you can do. When were the radio shows aired? There may be a statute of limitation....


 

CorisMom
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:14 AM
What did you do to have them taken away? Why did you lose them in the first place?
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:14 AM

Wow! This women sounds crazy. Sorry you are going through/have been through so much. I'd get to a lawyer to find out if there's anything you can do.


Quoting Momof2angels88:

 I think it aired in 2009, my son was murdered November 2008 and it was about a year or so after that because she was saying that my youngest son was having problems after his brother was killed and that she had to put him in a home for help. She put him in the same group home that the boy who killed my son was staying.


Quoting Anonymous:

I didn't choose anything. All I can say is, talk to a lawyer and see if there is anything you can do. When were the radio shows aired? There may be a statute of limitation....





Aleta775
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:17 AM

I would contact a lawyer. Show them where you found the radio programs and just ask about what can be done. I am so sorry about your son. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:18 AM
1 mom liked this
I really cant think of anything nice to say, so good luck. I am backing out of this post quickly
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