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Help I don't know how to help my best friend deal with her grief, and anxiety over death

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 37 Replies

So I'm very worried about my best friend who I saw tonight. I have not been seeing a lot of her lately, and I found out why. She has lost her mom, her grandpa, and her fiance's dad all in the last two years and she said she is so scared her grandma who basically raised her is going to die soon because she is almost 90 and she when she thinks of doing anything with friends obsesses, and "has to" see her Grandma thinking she will regret not seeing her therefore she sees her constantly. That wouldn't be a HUGE problem other than her anxiety except tonight she told me...

"If I don't get proof of an afterlife before my Grandma dies I am going to kill myself."

She is agnostic, she knows I am buddhist, and I strongly believe in the spirit going on, and eventually everyone becoming part of something, and I have my own beliefs I have never pushed on her. But I do STRONGLY believe in SOMETHING that happens. She knows I have seen psychics and whatnot before, and she is sitting there staring at me telling me she wants to see the psychic who helped me, and I feel I should  take her. She said when she was younger and she believed in an afterlife and she lost her friend to a sudden death she didn't feel this way. Should I do all I can to convince her of my beliefs? I am not the type of person to normally do this. My husband is an atheist, so I am normally live and let live, but if she is TELLING ME she wants to die if she does not feel her loved ones went on somewhere should I do all I can to convince her? Also she is a mom, so I worry that if this threat is serious about her child. I mentioned that, but she strayed away from the topic and said basically he would have others to care for him.

So what can I do? What should I do??? Her fiance knows how she feels she said btw. So I don't need to run and tell him.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:36 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:40 AM

To be honest, she just sounds really really depressed. She doesn't need a pyschic, she needs a therapist and some medication. I would take her to a doctor first.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:42 AM

Yep already sees a therapist AND a psychiatrist has been for the past 2 years consistently...

So...

Quoting Anonymous:

To be honest, she just sounds really really depressed. She doesn't need a pyschic, she needs a therapist and some medication. I would take her to a doctor first.


Mrs.Winchester
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:43 AM

I don't think your friend needs to see a psychic.  I think she needs to learn how to handle grief and see a therapist.  If she is threatening suicide for any reason you should offer her true help and take her to a doctor.

Mrs.Winchester
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:45 AM

So tell her to make an appointment and talk about grief specifically when she goes and that she is not managing it well.  Also she can request that her medications be adjusted/start some.

Quoting Anonymous:

Yep already sees a therapist AND a psychiatrist has been for the past 2 years consistently...

So...

Quoting Anonymous:

To be honest, she just sounds really really depressed. She doesn't need a pyschic, she needs a therapist and some medication. I would take her to a doctor first.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:46 AM

She is seeing doctors! Christ I guess I should put that in the OP. Obviously THAT is not helping.

She has borderline personality disorder SAME as myself, there is no cure for that. So having a huge fear of abandonment can push a BPD person to suicide and antidepressants cannot stop those feelings, she has been on a bunch of different ones.

Quoting Mrs.Winchester:

I don't think your friend needs to see a psychic.  I think she needs to learn how to handle grief and see a therapist.  If she is threatening suicide for any reason you should offer her true help and take her to a doctor.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:48 AM

Yep as I already stated she has been adjusted many times, her BPD is not going to be fixed by any medication. Therapy can help her like it has helped me, I have been going for longer, and I have gotten better from my treatment a lot more than I began, but it takes YEARS. What if her Grandma dies before she is feeing better?

Quoting Mrs.Winchester:

So tell her to make an appointment and talk about grief specifically when she goes and that she is not managing it well.  Also she can request that her medications be adjusted/start some.

Quoting Anonymous:

Yep already sees a therapist AND a psychiatrist has been for the past 2 years consistently...

So...

Quoting Anonymous:

To be honest, she just sounds really really depressed. She doesn't need a pyschic, she needs a therapist and some medication. I would take her to a doctor first.




Mrs.Winchester
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:50 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

She is seeing doctors! Christ I guess I should put that in the OP. Obviously THAT is not helping.

She has borderline personality disorder SAME as myself, there is no cure for that. So having a huge fear of abandonment can push a BPD person to suicide and antidepressants cannot stop those feelings, she has been on a bunch of different ones.

Quoting Mrs.Winchester:

I don't think your friend needs to see a psychic.  I think she needs to learn how to handle grief and see a therapist.  If she is threatening suicide for any reason you should offer her true help and take her to a doctor.


LOL,  so basically you are going to sit here and say that taking her to a psychic and pushing your beliefs on her is the ONLY WAY to prevent her from killing herself, and then ask if you're doing the right thing-  as if there is any answer I can give you otherwise.  Well,  I'm not going to tell you that.  But I applaud you for setting up a troll post with no option but to agree with you.

Kaybean
by Ruby Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:52 AM
IMO, she doesn't need a psychic. She needs God.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:53 AM

Troll post? As a suicidal woman in the past as I have myself have BPD like I mentioned I don't take suicide as a joke. So you can get the hell out of here with your stupid accustation! How dare you even have the guts to accuse me of a troll post on such a serious topic! You should be ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!!! I think you should say you are sorry lest you stick your tail between your legs and be the biggest ass on CM forever!

Quoting Mrs.Winchester:


Quoting Anonymous:

She is seeing doctors! Christ I guess I should put that in the OP. Obviously THAT is not helping.

She has borderline personality disorder SAME as myself, there is no cure for that. So having a huge fear of abandonment can push a BPD person to suicide and antidepressants cannot stop those feelings, she has been on a bunch of different ones.

Quoting Mrs.Winchester:

I don't think your friend needs to see a psychic.  I think she needs to learn how to handle grief and see a therapist.  If she is threatening suicide for any reason you should offer her true help and take her to a doctor.


LOL,  so basically you are going to sit here and say that taking her to a psychic and pushing your beliefs on her is the ONLY WAY to prevent her from killing herself, and then ask if you're doing the right thing-  as if there is any answer I can give you otherwise.  Well,  I'm not going to tell you that.  But I applaud you for setting up a troll post with no option but to agree with you.


Mrs.Winchester
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:58 AM

laughing

thanks anon.  I needed that laugh.

Quoting Anonymous:

Troll post? As a suicidal woman in the past as I have myself have BPD like I mentioned I don't take suicide as a joke. So you can get the hell out of here with your stupid accustation! How dare you even have the guts to accuse me of a troll post on such a serious topic! You should be ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!!! I think you should say you are sorry lest you stick your tail between your legs and be the biggest ass on CM forever!

Quoting Mrs.Winchester:


Quoting Anonymous:

She is seeing doctors! Christ I guess I should put that in the OP. Obviously THAT is not helping.

She has borderline personality disorder SAME as myself, there is no cure for that. So having a huge fear of abandonment can push a BPD person to suicide and antidepressants cannot stop those feelings, she has been on a bunch of different ones.

Quoting Mrs.Winchester:

I don't think your friend needs to see a psychic.  I think she needs to learn how to handle grief and see a therapist.  If she is threatening suicide for any reason you should offer her true help and take her to a doctor.


LOL,  so basically you are going to sit here and say that taking her to a psychic and pushing your beliefs on her is the ONLY WAY to prevent her from killing herself, and then ask if you're doing the right thing-  as if there is any answer I can give you otherwise.  Well,  I'm not going to tell you that.  But I applaud you for setting up a troll post with no option but to agree with you.



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