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I don't want to take care of my niece and nephews. EDIT

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post



Question: Would you take them in?




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Total Votes: 329

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My sil had her kids removed from her home last week.  She had to be hospitalized due to her mental health & her home was in shambles.  Kids are currently in 2 separate foster homes and they are looking for a relative to take them in.  My husband feels its our duty.  I am just thinking that it would be too much... the court dates, the appointments, the noise, the space, the cost...


Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 13, 2013 at 9:56 AM
Replies (171-180):
by Bronze Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 6:54 PM

Family is family.  Your niece and nephew did nothing wrong.  Dont punish them anymore than they already have been.  The govt will pay for any "cost" associated with it, cuz you are the "foster" family.  I agree it will be more stress, but the social worker should be able to give you the resources and therapy that your family needs so hopefully there wont be too much added "noise".  Maybe the social worker can also help if you need to get bunk beds or something to help with the "space" issues.  Good Luck!

by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 6:55 PM
Yes. I would take my nephew without a second thought.
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by Anonymous 34 on Feb. 14, 2013 at 6:55 PM

I think you made the right decision, good luck.  I know it's scary

by Anonymous 40 on Feb. 14, 2013 at 6:56 PM

I did this several years ago. Child is happy and healthy. I would never willingly give child back to the biological parents.  Today being valentines day I suggested a call to the mother to wish her happy vday.  Child says to, can't we just send a text?  LOVED IT.  Thats what we did.

by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 6:59 PM
No I wouldn't.

I called CPS multiple times leading to the permanent removal and stripping of her parental rights...but no I did not and would not take the kids.
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by Anonymous 38 on Feb. 15, 2013 at 7:59 AM

Quoting addiecakesmommy:

Quoting Anonymous:

Quoting Anonymous:

Ok thanks ladies for guilting me into this.  Wow I thought it would be more split than this.  Will discuss with hubby tonight what we need to do to get them here.

please dont let others guilt you into it!! like I have said, I have been in this position, and taking my BIL's kid in was the BIGGEST Mistake my husband and I ever made. it was good for her, but bad for our marriage and our children.  seriouslyy cut yourselves off from other people and think about the long term affects this will have.. what happens when mom gets out of hospitalization, are you ready for the jealousy between your kids and your niece/nephews,etc...

Just because your experience was bad doesn't mean the OP will have that type of experience. My great aunt adopted her nieces because of a similar situation and they caused a ton of problems. 

To this day my aunt still says that even knowing the outcome she wouldn't have hesitated to pick those kids up from the foster home. 

I am not saying her situation is going to be horrible. the op said that "thanks for guilting me into this"  my husband's family guilted us into taking the kid when we both had just some small hesitations and we didnt listen to that gut feeling.. that is why i told her to take time away from everyone to decide for themselves what would be best for their families...knowing the outcome for the kid we took in we never would have taken the kid in. some people are not designed to foster kids even if is is a family member and my husband and i learned that the hard way

by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:19 AM

I would take them in.

by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:23 AM

Family is family and we all need to stick together and take care of one another.<3

by Anonymous 41 on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:25 AM

It's easy to say you love someone and you're family when times are good and you don't have to DO anything. However your character and love really shows when the chips are down and when you might actually have to sacrifice.

Yes I would take my nieces and nephews in a heartbeat if they needed me. I'm their aunt after all.

by Bronze Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 11:40 AM
1 mom liked this

Just saw the edit - it made me smile.

Please update with outcome. There's lots of depressing posts on CM these days, would like to read something positive!

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