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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I'm NOT going and she can't make me...right? UPDATE

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 31 Replies

So my parents were planning on going up to my Grandfathers house for the weekend because of the long holiday. I have made some mistakes in my life and it seems like when I go up there people seem to think I'm deaf and all they do is talk bad about me when they think I can't hear them. Christmas was terrible and I felt like I wasn't welcome there and I felt uncomfortable. So, earlier this week I asked my mom if I HAD to go and she said "no, but can I still take the kids?" Absolutely. My grandfather loves them and would be heartbroken to not see them. My best friend was standing there when I asked, so she moved some shifts around this weekend so that we could hang out. I also made dinner plans with a friend from highschool and her family for Saturday night. Well, last night my mother decides to tell me that I HAVE to go and I do NOT have a choice.


So here's my problem. I live in their home (it's just easier this way until my DF gets out of the military in September) but I pay rent. My friend is irritated because she actually lost a few hours of work by switching these shifts around and the girl she switched with has already made plans revolving around that change of scheduling. Me? I don't want to go because I don't feel like spending a whole weekend in a home in which I am not wanted and do not feel comfortable and my mom will not let me take my own car so I can come home early if I so choose. My friend thinks that because I am an adult I should be able to just tell my mom that I'm not going and I shouldn't have to "ask" permission as to what I can and cannot do, seeing as how I am 24 years old. I feel like if I tell my mother "no"...well I'm not sure what will happen. I feel that I should still have to do everything she tells me to, because even though I pay her rent each month, I still live in her home. She says it's because they are going to be laying flowers on my grandmothers grave. What irritates me is I know for a fact that if I still lived up there, no one would call me to invite me to lay flowers on her grave, so why should I suddenly be MADE to go? So who is right? Me or my friend?


So I sat mom down and told her that I wasn't going and I saw a side to my dad that I have never seen! I am now a selfish little bitch and a chicken shit and need to learn to face my mistakes. No, see I have faced my mistakes but other people just won't let them go. And how am I a chicken shit? Just because I don't want to be somewhere where I don't feel comfortable or welcome? Ugh, it went over like a ton of bricks.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 13, 2013 at 10:29 AM
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Replies (1-10):
smushy79
by Gold Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 10:31 AM

 100% your friend. You are paying rent, a legal adult, etc. Why would you think that anyone else has a say??

lucky2Beeme
by Ruby Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 10:34 AM
1 mom liked this

You tell your mom I you asked if you could take the kids when I said I wasn't going. I have made plans and people have rearranged their schedules for these plans. Therefor  I will not be going.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 13, 2013 at 10:35 AM

My problem is I'm very submissive and I always have been. My mother has a very dominant personality and quite frankly, for unexplainable reasons I have a god awful fear of her. I don't know why. She is this way with my father to. He is hardly allowed to do anything. He goes on fishing trips with one of my high school class mates dad some weekends and it got to the point where they started going fishing where there is no cell service because her dad couldn't handle my mom calling every 5 minutes asking when he was coming home.

Quoting smushy79:

 100% your friend. You are paying rent, a legal adult, etc. Why would you think that anyone else has a say??


silverdawn99
by Ruby Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 10:37 AM
If you dont want to go then dont
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 13, 2013 at 10:39 AM

My friends exact words were "So what is she going to do if you tell her no? Ground you? I mean really?" And I can't answer that question because I don't know what she will say. We are all going out for an early valentines day dinner tonight, so I'm tempted to bring it up to her then.

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

You tell your mom I you asked if you could take the kids when I said I wasn't going. I have made plans and people have rearranged their schedules for these plans. Therefor  I will not be going.


lucky2Beeme
by Ruby Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 10:42 AM
1 mom liked this


Quoting Anonymous:

My friends exact words were "So what is she going to do if you tell her no? Ground you? I mean really?" And I can't answer that question because I don't know what she will say. We are all going out for an early valentines day dinner tonight, so I'm tempted to bring it up to her then.

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

You tell your mom I you asked if you could take the kids when I said I wasn't going. I have made plans and people have rearranged their schedules for these plans. Therefor  I will not be going.


Wait until after diner Please. You donmt want to ruin diner.Momma you are someones momma. Your momma needs to start treating you like a grown up woman that you are. You can do this momma. I know you can.

Surround yourself with people that add to your life not subtract from it.

Gardeningmom4
by Ruby Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 10:43 AM

Your friend.You are a renter and nothing more.You are also an adult she has not right to tell you to do anything whether she likes it or not.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 13, 2013 at 10:46 AM

I just was thinking in the public setting it might be better. I hate being yelled at and if there's people around my mom won't yell. It's a hard situation. I don't know why I'm so submissive with her. I think it was because it was embedded into my brain at an early age that no matter how old you are, you listen to your mother.

Quoting lucky2Beeme:


Quoting Anonymous:

My friends exact words were "So what is she going to do if you tell her no? Ground you? I mean really?" And I can't answer that question because I don't know what she will say. We are all going out for an early valentines day dinner tonight, so I'm tempted to bring it up to her then.

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

You tell your mom I you asked if you could take the kids when I said I wasn't going. I have made plans and people have rearranged their schedules for these plans. Therefor  I will not be going.


Wait until after diner Please. You donmt want to ruin diner.Momma you are someones momma. Your momma needs to start treating you like a grown up woman that you are. You can do this momma. I know you can.


lucky2Beeme
by Ruby Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 10:48 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

I just was thinking in the public setting it might be better. I hate being yelled at and if there's people around my mom won't yell. It's a hard situation. I don't know why I'm so submissive with her. I think it was because it was embedded into my brain at an early age that no matter how old you are, you listen to your mother.

Quoting lucky2Beeme:


Quoting Anonymous:

My friends exact words were "So what is she going to do if you tell her no? Ground you? I mean really?" And I can't answer that question because I don't know what she will say. We are all going out for an early valentines day dinner tonight, so I'm tempted to bring it up to her then.

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

You tell your mom I you asked if you could take the kids when I said I wasn't going. I have made plans and people have rearranged their schedules for these plans. Therefor  I will not be going.


Wait until after diner Please. You donmt want to ruin diner.Momma you are someones momma. Your momma needs to start treating you like a grown up woman that you are. You can do this momma. I know you can.


We have the same style mommas . It was hard to say NO or not do what she wanted. Once I did it the first time it became much easier momma.

Surround yourself with people that add to your life not subtract from it.

idunno1234
by Gold Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 10:49 AM
3 moms liked this

Just the way you word your post speaks volumes.  You are still very much a child in your parent/child relationship.  I'm not judging that in any way- its something many of us struggle to overcome and living at home makes it near impossible to change that.

In order to start being treated as an adult, your mom has to see you that way.  For example, in this case I wouldn't have asked your mom her permission in the first place, rather I would have told her what I planned on doing and stuck to it.

My feeling is that the sooner you can move out, the better for everyone.

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