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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

If your husband cheated and you found out

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And you and he miraculously worked it out, would you secretely keep up with him? 

My husband had a one night stand with an old girlfriend (long story but I was the one that introduced them again not knowing they had a past!!).  He told me and after ALOT of prayer and open, honest communication, we decided to stay together.  Now 4 years later we are stronger than we have ever been in our marriage. 

Up until recently, I kept tabs on his phone line (I can see who he calls and texts on our online bill) and he doesnt know.  The last time I did this his main phone calls and texts were to me.  I havent looked since because I really do trust him now.

Would you secretly keep tabs?

I think I've either liked or responded to everyone's comments (I'm still learning cafe mom and its hard to keep up!!) Thanks for all your responses alot of you guys know what it's like to stay in a marriage that was originally doomed to fail!!! 


by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 10:55 AM
Replies (11-20):
AleaKat
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:01 AM
Yes I'd keep track and let him know I was keeping track. He would have to regain my trust and he needs to understand that it's gonna take time.
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ilovemykids323
by Ruby Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:02 AM

 no because I wouldn't be with him if he cheated on me

Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:03 AM
No I wouldn't have stayed with a cheater.I would have divorced him.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:03 AM

We wouldn't have worked it out,  he would be gone!

kimkrys1
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:03 AM

EXACTLY!!! He thought I should have been over it in like 6 months!!! I think he knew I kept track but I didnt make it known really.

Quoting AleaKat:

Yes I'd keep track and let him know I was keeping track. He would have to regain my trust and he needs to understand that it's gonna take time.


NBean311
by Chivette on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:04 AM

Wow. You cheat on a man conststently with no remorse, but stay because of his money? Damn. 

Quoting Anonymous:

i would be so happy that i could finally put my marriage behind me 

i love him / love my kids / love my life 

hate being married to a man that has a very imature and limited intimacy level ---  i have been having an affair for 3 years and it has kept me from walking out and screwing up things for him and the kids financially and emotionally ....  yep wrong .... yep go ahead and bash ... but yep makes me happy and need him in my life....  even if on the side from time to time -- we are talking 6 - 8 times a year only -- but man are they amazing dates and if i got caught --- it would just make the process of getting a divorce ugly and painful but --- none the less i know the risks and love my S/O and love my life with both men in it. 


M0M0F03
by Silver Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:05 AM

I would be keeping tabs forever, and making our lives very miserable. I would try to be "civil/friends" for the kids, but I would have divorced him.

jamamama00
by Platinum Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:06 AM

No, I would openly keep tabs. Transparency

kimkrys1
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:07 AM

Thank you for posting this.  Your husband sounded like I was especially in the beginning.  

How did it make you feel? Were you ok with it being under the microscope? I know my DH felt horrible sometimes because I wouldnt just let it go.

I'm glad to see you worked it out.  Can I ask a personal question and if I need to private message you just message me and I'll ask you there.

Quoting Anonymous:

My husband kept his guard up for a while after finding out about my affair. It use to be that I couldn't even run to the store for 20 minutes before he was calling asking why I was taking so long. If I needed to run out at night after he was in bed he would wake up very paranoid and grill me in the morning about where I went. I know he looked at my phone often, even though he thinks I didn't notice, but after a few years he realized I wasn't going anywhere and that I was honest about wanting to be trusted again, and not ever breaking his trust again, so he stopped being so suspicious of every move I made.


brebugmom91
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:07 AM
1 mom liked this
Probably. Its part of earning trust.
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