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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

If your husband cheated and you found out

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And you and he miraculously worked it out, would you secretely keep up with him? 

My husband had a one night stand with an old girlfriend (long story but I was the one that introduced them again not knowing they had a past!!).  He told me and after ALOT of prayer and open, honest communication, we decided to stay together.  Now 4 years later we are stronger than we have ever been in our marriage. 

Up until recently, I kept tabs on his phone line (I can see who he calls and texts on our online bill) and he doesnt know.  The last time I did this his main phone calls and texts were to me.  I havent looked since because I really do trust him now.

Would you secretly keep tabs?

I think I've either liked or responded to everyone's comments (I'm still learning cafe mom and its hard to keep up!!) Thanks for all your responses alot of you guys know what it's like to stay in a marriage that was originally doomed to fail!!! 


by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 10:55 AM
Replies (41-50):
My-mono-twins
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:19 AM
1 mom liked this

 I keep tabs if they did anything or not! Its dumb to just put all ur trust in anyone.

jamiegraham
by Silver Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:19 AM

I wouldn't put up with a cheater not one time, he would be going down the road!!!

kidlover2
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:20 AM
I couldn't do it. I have trust issues with my SO who has done nothing to deserve it. I could never trust my ex-husband again.
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Hot_Badonkadonk
by Gold Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:20 AM
1 mom liked this

I honestly don't think I could stay, but if I did then I would probably be checking everything. 

Occasionally, I look through my husband's stuff just to see and he's never done anything to make me think he would. Sooooo....yeah.... lol 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:20 AM

how stupid you assume it is his money ---- if i leave he looses the house -- it is my money that HE needs....  I make more than him.  

Quoting NBean311:

Wow. You cheat on a man conststently with no remorse, but stay because of his money? Damn. 

Quoting Anonymous:

i would be so happy that i could finally put my marriage behind me 

i love him / love my kids / love my life 

hate being married to a man that has a very imature and limited intimacy level ---  i have been having an affair for 3 years and it has kept me from walking out and screwing up things for him and the kids financially and emotionally ....  yep wrong .... yep go ahead and bash ... but yep makes me happy and need him in my life....  even if on the side from time to time -- we are talking 6 - 8 times a year only -- but man are they amazing dates and if i got caught --- it would just make the process of getting a divorce ugly and painful but --- none the less i know the risks and love my S/O and love my life with both men in it. 



soon2bmomof3619
by Tinkerbell on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:21 AM

Cheating is a hill to die on for me, there is no coming back from that. So there would be no keeping tabs.

SusieQue717
by Gold Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:22 AM

He's never cheated and I keep tabs... and by never cheated, I mean never admitted to it... I don't know with 100% certainty that he hasn't. I am trying not to snoop so much, and he doesn't have any idea that I snoop around... 

kimkrys1
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:22 AM

My husband told me this, "I am willing to cut all ties change everything give you full acccess to everything and work on our marriage.  If we decide to work on our marriage you cannot keep bringing it up because then you will keep opening the wounds." He knew of course the first month I would ask questions etc but I did as he asked.  I kept tabs on him because he could erase the calls or texts.  The hardest part was she was a customer where I worked.  I was professional and never said anything to her during work hours.  I did tell her outside work to never come around my family again because DH has made his choice.  She tried to contact me via facebook to apologize.  I blocked her completely.

Quoting Anonymous:

After my affair dh did it to me. He still brings it up it still eats away at him, it still kills me, i wish it was further behind us. He checks my phone from time to time, but we share a fb account, and he grills me about how much gas is in my car all the time when i really only go somewhere like 3x a month without him an its usually to the grocery store. :/ it is what it is, but i honestly feel like it has made us stronger and we can communicate much better then before.


NBean311
by Chivette on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:22 AM

Oh, bless your heart. 

Then do him a favor and leave. He deserves better. Money and housing can be worked out. He deserves someone that loves him. 

Quoting Anonymous:

how stupid you assume it is his money ---- if i leave he looses the house -- it is my money that HE needs....  I make more than him.  

Quoting NBean311:

Wow. You cheat on a man conststently with no remorse, but stay because of his money? Damn. 

Quoting Anonymous:

i would be so happy that i could finally put my marriage behind me 

i love him / love my kids / love my life 

hate being married to a man that has a very imature and limited intimacy level ---  i have been having an affair for 3 years and it has kept me from walking out and screwing up things for him and the kids financially and emotionally ....  yep wrong .... yep go ahead and bash ... but yep makes me happy and need him in my life....  even if on the side from time to time -- we are talking 6 - 8 times a year only -- but man are they amazing dates and if i got caught --- it would just make the process of getting a divorce ugly and painful but --- none the less i know the risks and love my S/O and love my life with both men in it. 




kimkrys1
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 11:24 AM

OH SUSIE!!! Bless your heart!!!! I know that must be a hard life to live... have you tried talking to him?

Quoting SusieQue717:

He's never cheated and I keep tabs... and by never cheated, I mean never admitted to it... I don't know with 100% certainty that he hasn't. I am trying not to snoop so much, and he doesn't have any idea that I snoop around... 


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