New Website Hooks Up People Who Want to Have Kids Together, But Date Other People??
This takes the notion of the modern family to a whole new level. A website will partner women and men who both want children, but not a romantic relationship with one another. Not much shocks me in this day and age, but this took me by surprise. That's not to say I think you should be married before having kids. That's a ridiculously outdated perception of what it takes to raise a child. In fact, there is no one definition of the perfect family anymore. However, doesn't this loveless, match-making service make parenthood -- which any parent will tell you is incredibly hard -- even more complicated.
FamilybyDesign.com promotes itself as a great way to help single people build their dream families. They even refer to a promise many people make with their guy BFF when young -- if we are not married with kids by 30, we should have a kid together.
While I empathize with the desperate desire to start a family, this just seems like a risky idea. The parent-parent relationship is one of the most emotionally charged ones you can have. Anger, resentment, exhaustion are all par for the course. You will argue, fume, complain and more. How can you be sure this person is equally committed and won't cut and run when it gets tough -- and it will get tough. Though some people insists this can work. David Arrick and Heidi Sadowsky, friends for 20 years, were both featured on Today because of their decision to co-parent without being involved. I just have to wonder, what if one of them eventually develops romantic feelings for the other.
Having a baby together can uncover feelings you didn't realize were there. Finding yourself attracted to the father of your kid could happen, especially if he is attentive, supportive, caring, kind, and loving. Aren't those all the characteristics you would look for in a boyfriend or husband anyway? Then what happens if those new-found romantic feelings are not reciprocated? There was even a movie about this very thing. Friends with Kids depicted the story of best friends who wanted a baby, but neither of which were in a serious relationship. Everything was fine until one of them fell for the other. Like I said, complicated. With these "parenting partneships" could result in a lot of hurt and disappointment. And if things go badly, the person most likely to suffer most in the end is the child.