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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My step daughter did what!!

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:09 PM
  • 18 Replies
Hi all! I don't normally post but I am looking for some insight. I have a 14 year old step daughter of which I have a great relationship with. This past weekend she was using my lap top for homework, something she frequently does. When I went on it a couple days later I saw that she did not close something properly.. It was a journal entry in form of a letter to her father (something I do to sort my feelings out but never usually show it to him). The entry was not bad and appropriate for her eyes. However I then did a search on the computer and then saw that she read about a dozen of these very personal entries. Should I have locked access.. Yes so please do not bash.. But these were mostly from years ago and I never thought of it especially since usually she is a very trustworthy teen.

My question is how would you handle it with her. I am hurt, angry, embarrassed etc.. And don't want to over react but it needs to be dealt with. She comes back to our house tonight, the first time since the incident.. And she doesn't know that we know. Thank you in advance.


**edit.. The computer was immediately locked from use afterward and she will no longer have access to it. She has her own laptop that she forgot to bring with here.. Her own mother asked that we not let her access to it at all and if she forgets her computer then that is her consequence if she can not get homework done that needs the Internet/ typed etc...
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:09 PM
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Replies (1-10):
aCafemomma
by Bronze Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:33 PM

lock it and tell her reading your personally journal is an evasion of privacy and unacceptable.I would personally not allow her to use the computer for a while or make sure she is supervised during it 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:35 PM
This is why I don't write stuff down. I would just tell her it was personal and she can't use your laptop anymore.
ff-princess
by Platinum Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:36 PM

create a new profile for her on your computer that only gives her access to what she needs, not your personal documents.  then have a non-confrontational chat with her and let her know that you noticed that the last time she was on your computer there were items accessed that were not hers to read, and that you don't appreciate the invasion of privacy and don't think she would appreciate it if you did it to her.  let her know that the lack of trustworthiness has caused you to make her her own profile that is on a need-to-use basis, and that you expect better from her in the future.  then drop it unless it needs to be addressed again for a second transgression, which shouldn't happen because she can't get to it.

Chantilly1
by Gold Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:36 PM

i wouldn't say anything. just make her her own username on your laptop and have yours locked with a password. Let her use her own username when she comes over. 

She will probably know why you did that and that will be enough. No reason to be confrontational, just be smart.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:37 PM
And make it clear that she violated your trust. Explain to her that you wouldn't go through her private journals and it was wrong of her to do that.
And it's about time to monitor everything she's doing anyways.

Quoting aCafemomma:

lock it and tell her reading your personally journal is an evasion of privacy and unacceptable.I would personally not allow her to use the computer for a while or make sure she is supervised during it 

Chantilly1
by Gold Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:38 PM


this is good too. I guess maybe letting her know that would be good as well.

Quoting ff-princess:

create a new profile for her on your computer that only gives her access to what she needs, not your personal documents.  then have a non-confrontational chat with her and let her know that you noticed that the last time she was on your computer there were items accessed that were not hers to read, and that you don't appreciate the invasion of privacy and don't think she would appreciate it if you did it to her.  let her know that the lack of trustworthiness has caused you to make her her own profile that is on a need-to-use basis, and that you expect better from her in the future.  then drop it unless it needs to be addressed again for a second transgression, which shouldn't happen because she can't get to it.



Caitlyn137
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:41 PM
Just set her up a guest account on ur computer and thats it . She'll understand why
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C.Fleury
by on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:43 PM
Is there anyway possible she just accidentally opened one ? Or is it something she would have to literally open other folders to get to the documents.

Maybe it was opened by accident. I would address, however I wouldn't get worked up over it.
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PinkButterfly66
by Ruby Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:51 PM

She got curious and read the entries.  No different from a parent reading child's journal.  It was an invasion of privacy and I would approach the subject that way to her.

Thelmama
by Ruby Member on Feb. 13, 2013 at 1:52 PM

Lock it and discuss privacy with her and ask her how she would feel if you read her private thoughts, journals etc. Discuss it with her.

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