Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Kids in FT Daycare

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Moms, if your children are in daycare full time, do you feel like you miss out on a lot?  That you don't see your kids enough?  That you're only a part time parent, if that?  That, maybe, it was pointless to have kids, as you see them so little?

We're friends with a couple who wants to have their third child. Their other two children are in daycare 50-55 hours each week.  I don't get the point of having another child that they'd never see.

Thoughts?


EDIT: Regarding kids in school- they aren't there for 11 hours daily, usually.  This couple drops their DDs off at 7:00am and picks them up at 6:00pm, occasionally 5:00pm.


EDIT 2: I see that some of you "ladies" have chosen to attack me personally instead of answering the above questions.  Stop being so easily offended.  If you have something valid to add about the topic, please do. Calling me judgemental or a bitch, and saying it's none of my business isn't adding anything to the conversation, whether or not it's true.  You're saying it just to make yourselves feel better.  Maybe you could actually try answering the questions?  

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:24 PM
Replies (711-720):
NoraDun
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 6:54 PM

I think its a valid point. I am a SAHM, and homeschool my kids. I am not away from them more then an hour during any given week!!! But that I believe is my job as a Mother. People are different in their definitions though. I hear women  talk about TTC more kids when they do nothing but complain about how bad the ones they have are now. People just see things differently.

mom2boyjuly07
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 6:54 PM

As an in home daycare provider I often ask myself these same questions. I see alot of people who clearly do not get where this women is coming from so let me shed some light on the situation from a Daycares perspective. Over the past 9 years of running a daycare I have found many of kids who I "raise" I have them 12 hours a day sometimes more and their parents take them home bath and put them to bed. All meals are at my house, all play time minus the weekends is also at my house. Even then after talking with the parents even then play time is at my house as weekends are filled with chores, running errands and catching up on sleep and then spending mommy & Daddy time. These kids are left under disciplined because as a daycare there is very little I can do and even when I do something if its not followed up by mom and dad it doesn't stick. So our society ends up with hoodlums, kids who lack the ability to cope with our society. They dont feel love because face it as a provider my love doesn't matter and mom and dad dont have time to show it. So yes we as a society should judge people who are bring kids into this world who will grow up to criminals, bad parents who continue this circle, or take years of counselling to be able to be deemed part of society. Maybe thats harsh but I have seen these kids who grow up in Daycares and After School Programs that are now starting to go out on their own and honestly someone failed them somewhere as they are not striving, surving or coping. 

Mimihh213
by Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 6:54 PM
I wish knowing what I know now, that we could do this... We are both teachers, so at least we get a lot of holidays & summers off...


Quoting taminick32:

I think the same my DH have always worked opposite shifts so a parent is always home. I also don't like paying to work.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
momof2ex1
by Bronze Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 6:55 PM
Now this I agree with. I don't agree with more kids in daycare. I stayed home with my first and that didn't work out. So my second child I knew would go to daycare. I don't want to work even more than I do, so there will be no more babies.


Quoting makaliasmomma:

I agree with you 100% and I think a lot of these parents are selfish for having multiple kids when they know they are going to be in ft daycare before they are even born. The people attacking you are probably the people who have multiple kids in daycare. My brother and sister in law had one child and they had to both return to work after having her. They didn't have another. I dont care what any of you people say, it is selfish. Kids need their parents much more than their babysitter.


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
JessicaMastro
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 6:55 PM
I was a stay at home mom for the first three years of my sons life and we just started him in daycare/preschool two weeks ago.

I was a good mom but I wanted him to do so much more. I felt like I just didn't take enough iniative to teach him things like abcs colors numbers, etc. also he was terribly shy around people because he didn't get out much. I was an introvert and I was turning my kid into one.

My son is in full time preschool now and he is flourishing much faster than he was under me. I do miss him but I know it's what's best for him. Not all parents are built the same way, we don't all have the capacity and patience to handle a small child 24/7. Doesnt mean we dont want kids or a family.

I don't feel like a part time parent, just a different type of one. A less stressed one. I used to stress all the time about whether or not he was getting enough attention, school time, playtime and god knows what else. Now I'm much calmer knowing he's getting exactly what he needs. That makes me a good mom.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
makaliasmomma
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 6:55 PM


No, let me explain it to you. Most people who stay at home and MAYBE get some assistance have WORKED and paid their dues into these programs. Do not sit there and make judgements against people. Nothing is wrong with having medicaid for one child, there are plenty of people out there that abuse the system and have 11 kids. That's the problem. Not everyone that is a sahm gets assistance. You don't support me, my husband who works 60 hours a week does, but thank you and your self righetous attitude =)

Quoting zandra260:

You don't see what's wrong with it? Let me explain it to you... I am out there working my butt off to provide a life for my family - and let me tell you, we don't have expensive tastes, we live on the bare minimum - and people like you stay home and live off of federal and state assistance. Even though you are able-bodied and capable of working. So you decide to stay home and not only do I support myself and my son, but I support YOU as well, with my tax dollars. You're welcome.

Quoting makaliasmomma:


I dont really see much wrong with the medicaid and foodstamp thing either. Some people would rather be with their kids all the time then drive a bmw.

Quoting amberlyp:

Amazing answer

Quoting Anonymous:

So would think its better for one parent to stay home and then they have to get food stamp and Medicaid? There is nothing wrong parents working to support their family a still wanting to expand their family.



I am a SAHM right now but I have been a working mom too! Yes I missed my ds while I was a work but it didn't make me any less of a mom than I am now staying at home.






Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 17, 2013 at 6:56 PM
2 moms liked this
So my children are less beautiful because I work?




Quoting Anonymous:


Thank you for this post.. I was blessed i could be a stay home mom. I can not understand Dr and Lawyer mom who get paid help and daycare justify having more kids. Why have your fancy education, cars and big houses and pay someone to take care of your child? These parents feel priviledge they can PAY good money but do the realise there childs youth is for a shot time. The time you dont spend with your child is lost for ever and your maids views are implanted for a life time that you paid for. Call me insane for not having 5 cars and 7 homes but I have beautiful, beautiful children. 



Sirime
by Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 6:56 PM

My kid would never step foot in a day care I don't like them I think if you are home and don't do shit like someone I once knew it is just lazy parenting! If u are a working parent well that's another case, I have the ability to work from home so no my kid would never be in day care but true why the fuck would I have another kid if I'm just going to stash it in the day care!? Pointless 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 17, 2013 at 6:56 PM
Quoting illogicalkat:

I also don't see where you answered my questions.

You asked for my thoughts and I gave them. If you are going to take time to respond to me, please do me the same courtesy and answer mine.




They're irrelevant.
zandra260
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 6:57 PM

I don't think this is a question of daycare versus keeping kids at home. This is a question of the quality of life outside of daycare. Someone on here mentioned someone who stays at home but puts her kids in daycare so she can have a break. Someone else mentioned people who have a day off and still put their kids in daycare. That is all very different than someone who HAS to work to provide for the basic needs of their family.

I have my son in daycare 4 days a week. He is 6 months old. The daycare director told me that I should just sign up for 5 days a week, it's only $20 more per week, and I can drop him off on Mondays and use that day to run errands. Did I do that? Absolutely not. I HAVE to work. There is nothing else that I HAVE to do that will keep me away from my son. On Saturdays I take him to Musical Munchkins (a music enrichment class for kids under 1). On Mondays we go to Story Hour at the library. We do an art project once a week, and read 4-5 books per night before bed. I make sure that the time we spend together is of the highest quality possible - and I also pay so that he is in the best daycare in the area. All in all, I would have to say my son has an excellent life. He is healthy, extremely happy, and already very smart. So let's just remember that even when you're talking about "working parents who put their kids in daycare" you can't lump them all in together. I, personally, am an excellent mother and I am satisfied with my decision to put my son in daycare.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)