Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Kids in FT Daycare

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Moms, if your children are in daycare full time, do you feel like you miss out on a lot?  That you don't see your kids enough?  That you're only a part time parent, if that?  That, maybe, it was pointless to have kids, as you see them so little?

We're friends with a couple who wants to have their third child. Their other two children are in daycare 50-55 hours each week.  I don't get the point of having another child that they'd never see.

Thoughts?


EDIT: Regarding kids in school- they aren't there for 11 hours daily, usually.  This couple drops their DDs off at 7:00am and picks them up at 6:00pm, occasionally 5:00pm.


EDIT 2: I see that some of you "ladies" have chosen to attack me personally instead of answering the above questions.  Stop being so easily offended.  If you have something valid to add about the topic, please do. Calling me judgemental or a bitch, and saying it's none of my business isn't adding anything to the conversation, whether or not it's true.  You're saying it just to make yourselves feel better.  Maybe you could actually try answering the questions?  

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:24 PM
Replies (1311-1320):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 20, 2013 at 5:23 PM

Kids that are dropped off at daycare by 7:00 am should be getting into bed by 8:00 pm at the latest.    And if that's the case those kids are never with the parents.

It's stupid for them to have another kid to be raised by daycare.  It doesn't matter how good of daycare it is,  that daycare worker is being PAID to spend time with the kids.  The love and teaching only a parent can give is non existent.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 20, 2013 at 5:32 PM


Exactly!!!!!  Kids want and should be with their parents

Quoting Hannahsmom494:

I think those are important questions parents should ask themselves. Everyone spends their energy on rationalizing why they live the way they do...own up to the truth....if a child is in someone else's care other than the parents 50 hrs per week, you are in denial if you think that is okay or healthy.


all these daycares never would of existed back in the day because moms stayed at home and raised their kids.  it's called budgeting.   money cannot buy family time.

Esmom0520
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:21 PM

I think they are legitimate questions. And as someone who understands the necessity of daycare but has never had to put their own child in it I am curious to hear some actual answers. I would like to learn how you can make family time despite very busy schedules or how you bond with a child that you don't get to see that much. Maybe its just the "nice" in me but I didn't read this and think this person was being rude or judgemental, simply curious.
And all these rude comments make me want to not post my own questions for fear of being cyberbullied for asking questions on a site where I thought I was supposed to be able to be open and honest.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:24 PM
2 moms liked this
I love when people with NO EXPERIENCE having their kids in daycare can guarantee they know how OTHER kids feel and know its unhealthy. LMAO ahh the ignorance.

Quoting Anonymous:


Exactly!!!!!  Kids want and should be with their parents


Quoting Hannahsmom494:

I think those are important questions parents should ask themselves. Everyone spends their energy on rationalizing why they live the way they do...own up to the truth....if a child is in someone else's care other than the parents 50 hrs per week, you are in denial if you think that is okay or healthy.



all these daycares never would of existed back in the day because moms stayed at home and raised their kids.  it's called budgeting.   money cannot buy family time.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:26 PM
My kids and I got home an hour and a half ago. We've had dinner , played puzzles, and chatted. My kids are about to bathe and then well have playtime and story time before bed in 2 hours. Working doesn't stop family time at all.

Quoting Esmom0520:

I think they are legitimate questions. And as someone who understands the necessity of daycare but has never had to put their own child in it I am curious to hear some actual answers. I would like to learn how you can make family time despite very busy schedules or how you bond with a child that you don't get to see that much. Maybe its just the "nice" in me but I didn't read this and think this person was being rude or judgemental, simply curious.
And all these rude comments make me want to not post my own questions for fear of being cyberbullied for asking questions on a site where I thought I was supposed to be able to be open and honest.

Esmom0520
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:31 PM

Those are nice things to know about to squeeze in. I am VERY lucky in the sense that I am allowed to take my son with me to one of my jobs. My fiance works opposite my schedule so we get very little full family time. I am trying to learn as much as I can right now while my son is still young so as he grows we can plan things as a family to have that quality time together.

papertrail01
by Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 7:41 PM

Wonder me this. While you are the voice of all mighty reason, did you even ask your "friend" if it was Ok that you take her thoughts to this forum for all of us to "vote" on? And then was it Ok that you came back to "Edit" your judgements twice, just to make sure that you properly threw your friend under the bus, just to make sure that you were right in your assessment of her life. Oh thank goodness that you were there to save her world. You are such a good friend, you keep such good confidences and pass no judgements....NOT.

KJH78
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 8:48 PM
1 mom liked this

My daughter goes to daycare 5 days a week from about 7 am until about 5 pm. I don't feel guilty and I don't consider it being a part-time parent. She learns at her school, gets to socialize (she's an only child) and we spend our evenings with her and weekends of course. It may not be all the time a SAHM gets but it works for us and our daughter is very happy and she loves her school! Unfortunately most families require two incomes so all you can do is make the best of it and make sure your kids are somewhere where they are growing, learning and having fun while we are at work making the $$. And devote as much time after school hours being with them.

KJH78
by on Feb. 20, 2013 at 9:03 PM

Thank you! My daughter is a very smart, fun, loving kid. She LOVES her school. I knew when I had a child that I would continue working and it was tough initially, but in the end I have no regrets. I LOVE my daughter to the moon and back and if I truly felt being in daycare was harming her we would develop a new plan, but the fact of the matter is she loves going to school. Whether they start school at 8 weeks or 5 years old at some point they go. Parents who make the decision to start them in school at 8 weeks are just as loving and nurturing as those who stay at home or work alternating shifts from their spouse. We love our kids the same, it's just a different scenario for us each on why we make the decisions that we make. You don't have to agree with it, but at least you can recognize it for what it is - a thought out decision. It's not yours to judge or condemn others for being less of a parent than those that stay at home. The orginal poster - your friend has just as much of a longing to be a mother to multiple children as the one who stays home. Whether one kid or three are in daycare it's a family decision and it doesn't make them less of a parent. Some people can say you're being judgemental but really inquiring to those who do have kids in daycare is harmless. Attacking those who work and have children in daycare - that's being judgemental!


Quoting Anonymous:

I love when people with NO EXPERIENCE having their kids in daycare can guarantee they know how OTHER kids feel and know its unhealthy. LMAO ahh the ignorance.

Quoting Anonymous:


Exactly!!!!!  Kids want and should be with their parents


Quoting Hannahsmom494:

I think those are important questions parents should ask themselves. Everyone spends their energy on rationalizing why they live the way they do...own up to the truth....if a child is in someone else's care other than the parents 50 hrs per week, you are in denial if you think that is okay or healthy.



all these daycares never would of existed back in the day because moms stayed at home and raised their kids.  it's called budgeting.   money cannot buy family time.



Garnet_Iris11
by Bronze Member on Feb. 20, 2013 at 10:06 PM
DD turned 2 at the end of January and has come to work with me nearly every single day. It wasn't until last week that she started daycare, 3 hrs - 3 days a week. I miss her, but she rarely interacts with other children her age and she loves learning and exploring. She absolutely loves.. I still want to sit and hang out with her rather than go to work. LOL If she was full-time, I wouldn't know what to do. I know in the next year I want to TTC for #2.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)