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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Kids in FT Daycare

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Moms, if your children are in daycare full time, do you feel like you miss out on a lot?  That you don't see your kids enough?  That you're only a part time parent, if that?  That, maybe, it was pointless to have kids, as you see them so little?

We're friends with a couple who wants to have their third child. Their other two children are in daycare 50-55 hours each week.  I don't get the point of having another child that they'd never see.

Thoughts?


EDIT: Regarding kids in school- they aren't there for 11 hours daily, usually.  This couple drops their DDs off at 7:00am and picks them up at 6:00pm, occasionally 5:00pm.


EDIT 2: I see that some of you "ladies" have chosen to attack me personally instead of answering the above questions.  Stop being so easily offended.  If you have something valid to add about the topic, please do. Calling me judgemental or a bitch, and saying it's none of my business isn't adding anything to the conversation, whether or not it's true.  You're saying it just to make yourselves feel better.  Maybe you could actually try answering the questions?  

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:24 PM
Replies (141-150):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:48 AM



Quoting Anonymous:

oh please, you knew exactly what you were doing.  just because they have question marks, they are still accusations / judments


Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting Redwoods_Mama:


You asked where the judgement is.  Right there in bold.


 

Quoting Anonymous:

Moms, if your children are in daycare full time, do you feel like you miss out on a lot?  That you don't see your kids enough?  That you're only a part time parent, if that?  That, maybe, it was pointless to have kids, as you see them so little?

We're friends with a couple who wants to have their third child. Their other two children are in daycare 50-55 hours each week.  I don't get the point of having another child that they'd never see.

Thoughts?




Silly me.  I thought those were questions.



Fine, you *win*.  They're judgements.what, pray tell, does that matter?


Kool_Aide
by Gold Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:49 AM
1 mom liked this

My kids are in school (bus time included) from 6:45-4:30. That is almost 10 hours!!

i don't have a choice, they must attend. When I was in school. My bus picked me up at 6am and I didn't get home until 5:15-5:30. So now I don't feel guilty. I feel like a great parent for sending my children to school for an education that is required by law! Ha!!

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:50 AM



Quoting LilyofPhilly:

So? He's still working! Or does he let your kids interrupt him all day long for cuddles and Candy Land games?

Quoting Anonymous:




Quoting LyTe684:

I see you skipped right over her last question though. Just saying.....

Quoting Anonymous:




Quoting LilyofPhilly:

Most kids aren't in daycare for 11 hours a day. But just what is the cut off for full time or part time parenting? Let me guess-the length of a school day? I homeschooled, so I guess I'm even more of a parent than you! And is your husband a part time parent?



Your children aren't in daycare, so you're not who I'm talking to.


I skipped over the last question because it doesn't apply.  My husband very often works from home.  



He's around our daughter very much during the day, yes.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:51 AM



Quoting Anonymous:


Awwwww, the obligatory "I can't speak for myself" gif.

Bravo! You really told me!

RunningMommaof2
by Kelly on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:52 AM

Dd goes to full time preschool and no I don't feel that way. I'm a sahm, so she could be home... but she loves being at school with her friends. She gets things from preschool that I can't give to her, which is why I enrolled her in the first place. I think I would feel differently if she was still a baby though. 

mcclainprincess
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:52 AM
Any good parent will want what's best for their child and will want to spend time with them. Just because a woman our man stays home with their child doesn't mean they love their child any more than one who has to put them in daycare full time. There sahm who ignore and abuse their kids ya know.



When i get my son from after school care the night is his. We dodo homework together, cook together, chores, cuddle, watch tv... But i devote all my time off towards him.



He is a happy smart healthy little boy who adores his mother and appreciates everything i do for him.





Quoting Anonymous:





Quoting mcclainprincess:

Never claimed to be classy. I just don't like obvious judgmental twits. Don't play the whole "it was just a question" bullshit.





You know and i know what you meant by it. The least you could do is woman up about it.








Quoting Anonymous:






Quoting mcclainprincess:

Just wanted pop in and say Fuck you.







If you're willing to give me money so that i don't have to work 60 hrs a week I'd be happy to pick my son up from daycare earlier.







Wait, that's right.. I should have known that my husband was going to cheat on me and make me a single mother.. Silly me and my horrible planning...





Sensitive much, crazy pants?  I asked 4 questions.  I hardly think a "Fuck you" was warranted, though your classy self obviously does.  Might want to direct that anger at the person you're really upset with.







I'm looking for feedback from those in a similar situation.  



Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Abby.N.Amys.Mom
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:52 AM

Excuse me, but no, I don't feel like a "part time parent" and it was NOT pointless to have children.  Just because I work doesn't mean I shouldn't have children.  You are so friggin narrow minded it's pathetic. Enjoy your ignorance, it makes you look like a moron.

April620
by Ruby Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:54 AM
I would never put my baby in daycare. My husband and I schedule our lives so that one of us can be with her at all times.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:54 AM



Quoting Anonymous:

If you don't care so much as you have stated in the replies, why even bother "contemplating" this.

You are couching your judgment in the guise of an "innocent" question in the hopes of getting validation on how you feel and your opinions on it just to make yourself feel better and more superior to your friend.  That's wrong and petty.

They are providing for their children and trying to give them the best they can by working.  If they can make it work and the children are not suffering for it, then who are you to judge them?  Who are you to say "maybe you should re-think having a third child because you're not a real parent since you put your kids in daycare FT?"  It's obvious that you are in the group that thinks that parents who work don't really parent and aren't real parents to their kids.  Being home with your child all day does not always equate to being a good parent.  There are plenty of crappy and mediocre parents who stay home with their kids all day. 

Their children are in daycare 11 hours a day.  The only time they have is feeding them and putting them to bed 5 nights each week.

Ad hominem really has nothing to do with the questions I asked.

Abby.N.Amys.Mom
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:54 AM

And I bet your shit smells like roses too.

Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting LilyofPhilly:

So? He's still working! Or does he let your kids interrupt him all day long for cuddles and Candy Land games?

Quoting Anonymous:




Quoting LyTe684:

I see you skipped right over her last question though. Just saying.....

Quoting Anonymous:




Quoting LilyofPhilly:

Most kids aren't in daycare for 11 hours a day. But just what is the cut off for full time or part time parenting? Let me guess-the length of a school day? I homeschooled, so I guess I'm even more of a parent than you! And is your husband a part time parent?



Your children aren't in daycare, so you're not who I'm talking to.


I skipped over the last question because it doesn't apply.  My husband very often works from home.  



He's around our daughter very much during the day, yes.



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