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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Kids in FT Daycare

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Moms, if your children are in daycare full time, do you feel like you miss out on a lot?  That you don't see your kids enough?  That you're only a part time parent, if that?  That, maybe, it was pointless to have kids, as you see them so little?

We're friends with a couple who wants to have their third child. Their other two children are in daycare 50-55 hours each week.  I don't get the point of having another child that they'd never see.

Thoughts?


EDIT: Regarding kids in school- they aren't there for 11 hours daily, usually.  This couple drops their DDs off at 7:00am and picks them up at 6:00pm, occasionally 5:00pm.


EDIT 2: I see that some of you "ladies" have chosen to attack me personally instead of answering the above questions.  Stop being so easily offended.  If you have something valid to add about the topic, please do. Calling me judgemental or a bitch, and saying it's none of my business isn't adding anything to the conversation, whether or not it's true.  You're saying it just to make yourselves feel better.  Maybe you could actually try answering the questions?  

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 13, 2013 at 2:24 PM
Replies (161-170):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:01 AM



Quoting SiriSilasMom:

My thoughts?!? Are for you to 

You're so creative.


LyTe684
by Ruby Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:02 AM
1 mom liked this

lol You CAN'T annoy me. The fact that you THINK you can, tells me that you take the internet waaaay to seriously. LMAO.

It's just funny that you won't answer questions, because you know you are full of shit. ;)


Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting LyTe684:

No answer huh? Not surprised. LOL

Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting LyTe684:

Okay. Let me try and answer your post then as best I can.

No, I don't feel guilty. I am providing for my children. There are parents that are home with their kids all day and still suck at parenting. Being with ones kids 24/7 does not make a good parent.

ETA: What about those parents that stay home and can't afford it? Should they keep having kids, even though they can't afford them, JUST because they spend 24/7 with them?

What about the parents that stay home but suck at parenting?

Why should ones that are willing to PROVIDE for their kids be the only ones that 'shouldn't have them', as you say?



I'm asking about one specific subset of parents.


I'm not answering A) because none of the questions you asked are relevant to this specific post. Start your own thread if you'd like and B) I can tell it annoys you.



ebbierowe
by Gold Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:02 AM
when kids are in school they often go to before and after care so many kids are away from their parenta from 7 until after 5
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LilyofPhilly
by Platinum Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:03 AM
I homeschooled my kids. I get the GOLD metal!

Quoting Anonymous:

good for you - your medal is on it's way...



Quoting thetrollcat:

I think if people want to have multiple kids one parent should work at least part time so someone can RAISE the kid. This is what we did. My kids have never been in daycare before the age of four and never full time, ever.




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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:03 AM



Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting Anonymous:

If you don't care so much as you have stated in the replies, why even bother "contemplating" this.

You are couching your judgment in the guise of an "innocent" question in the hopes of getting validation on how you feel and your opinions on it just to make yourself feel better and more superior to your friend.  That's wrong and petty.

They are providing for their children and trying to give them the best they can by working.  If they can make it work and the children are not suffering for it, then who are you to judge them?  Who are you to say "maybe you should re-think having a third child because you're not a real parent since you put your kids in daycare FT?"  It's obvious that you are in the group that thinks that parents who work don't really parent and aren't real parents to their kids.  Being home with your child all day does not always equate to being a good parent.  There are plenty of crappy and mediocre parents who stay home with their kids all day. 

Their children are in daycare 11 hours a day.  The only time they have is feeding them and putting them to bed 5 nights each week.

Ad hominem really has nothing to do with the questions I asked.

Ad hominem? Really?!  Did you think you could pose a question like this so innocently without people attacking you and digging a little deeper and reading between the lines?  That's impossible for people to answer the question simply through intellect BECAUSE you yourself have inserted your own personal feelings on the subject and have opened youself up to replies based on your character and judgment. 

It is not YOU to say that they should not have any more children because you don't agree with their parenting style.  YOU may think they should stay home with the kids all day, but that may not be best for their family.  If their kids are being provided for and taken care of and loved, then who are you to judge which is exactly what you ARE doing!  Parenting involves more than hanging out with your kids 24 hours a day and more often than not, the more effective parents are the ones that actually appreciate being with them because they don't spend 24 hours a day with them.



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:03 AM
No because he is providing for his family. A man should be out working.

Quoting macbudsmom:

So lets say I am a SAHM, Dad is out working 40+ hours a week to provide for the family.  Is he less of a parent?  Should he feel guilty?



Quoting Anonymous:

I agree with you on everything and always wonder that myself.




Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:05 AM


LOL!

OP thinks that she can ask the question without anyone judging simply because she "innocently" asked.  It's just another judging post about working parents versus stay at home parents.

Quoting LyTe684:

lol You CAN'T annoy me. The fact that you THINK you can, tells me that you take the internet waaaay to seriously. LMAO.

It's just funny that you won't answer questions, because you know you are full of shit. ;)


Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting LyTe684:

No answer huh? Not surprised. LOL

Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting LyTe684:

Okay. Let me try and answer your post then as best I can.

No, I don't feel guilty. I am providing for my children. There are parents that are home with their kids all day and still suck at parenting. Being with ones kids 24/7 does not make a good parent.

ETA: What about those parents that stay home and can't afford it? Should they keep having kids, even though they can't afford them, JUST because they spend 24/7 with them?

What about the parents that stay home but suck at parenting?

Why should ones that are willing to PROVIDE for their kids be the only ones that 'shouldn't have them', as you say?



I'm asking about one specific subset of parents.


I'm not answering A) because none of the questions you asked are relevant to this specific post. Start your own thread if you'd like and B) I can tell it annoys you.





Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:05 AM



Quoting Abby.N.Amys.Mom:

Excuse me, but no, I don't feel like a "part time parent" and it was NOT pointless to have children.  Just because I work doesn't mean I shouldn't have children.  You are so friggin narrow minded it's pathetic. Enjoy your ignorance, it makes you look like a moron.


You literally ARE a part time parent, though.

Ad hominem.  Learn it, live it.

LilyofPhilly
by Platinum Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:05 AM
*He's around her*. Speaks volumes....

Quoting Anonymous:




Quoting LilyofPhilly:

So? He's still working! Or does he let your kids interrupt him all day long for cuddles and Candy Land games?



Quoting Anonymous:





Quoting LyTe684:

I see you skipped right over her last question though. Just saying.....

Quoting Anonymous:





Quoting LilyofPhilly:

Most kids aren't in daycare for 11 hours a day. But just what is the cut off for full time or part time parenting? Let me guess-the length of a school day? I homeschooled, so I guess I'm even more of a parent than you! And is your husband a part time parent?




Your children aren't in daycare, so you're not who I'm talking to.


I skipped over the last question because it doesn't apply.  My husband very often works from home.  




He's around our daughter very much during the day, yes.



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macbudsmom
by Ruby Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:06 AM

Are you being sarcastic or do you simply believe in very traditional roles?


Quoting Anonymous:

No because he is providing for his family. A man should be out working.

Quoting macbudsmom:

So lets say I am a SAHM, Dad is out working 40+ hours a week to provide for the family.  Is he less of a parent?  Should he feel guilty?



Quoting Anonymous:

I agree with you on everything and always wonder that myself.






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