Let's get ready for it, Ladies!
Valentine's Day: Mom edition.
The better than thou Mom- "We don't need a superficial day to prove our love to each other unlike you!"
The bitter, lonely Mom- " Everyone around me is acting like they are oh, sooo in love today when I know damn well Jane and John fight all the time and Rick is a closet gay. Soo ready for this day to be over! It's so overrated and fake!"
The angry Mom- "Fuck Valentine's Day! After aallll I do for him, he has the nerve. THE NERVE to come in and not buy me a single damn thing?! He can't even make me feel special for this ONE day?!
The ungrateful Mom- "I am so pissed. All he got me was a card and some chocolate. Am I not worth much more than that???!!! He could have at least got me a Tiffany's bracelet! Ugh, I swear!"
The vague Mom- "I did not breathe a word to him about V-Day, and I left a catalog open with a ring I wanted, and he FORGOT? I shouldn't have to tell him this day is approaching. He should remember on his own, and he should know that when I leave a catalog open, it's because I am hinting!"
The mixed signals Mom- *Says she doesn't want anything* "That bastard didn't buy me ANYTHING! I told him I didn't want anything because I expected him to sweep me off my feet and surprise me!"
The bragging mom- "I got home yesterday, and hubby surprised me with a brand new $30,000 convertible, then took me to a top of the line celebrity spa, got me 5 Louis Vuitton bags, and a ton of my fave Chanel jewelry! Omg, it was just so amazing. He is the best hubby ever, and my friends are so jealous because their husband's got them way less. So...What did you get?"
The bitter about bragging moms Mom- "You bitches who brag, your husband's are probably fucking your neighbor! Ha!"
Did I leave anything out? Lol. Every year. Like clock work.