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at what point does a friendship become an emotional affair?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 40 Replies

ok..

so I never post here... but today I am looking for HONEST opinions.. and if you can relly on Mom Confessions for something.. its for honest opinions.. no matter how nasty they are.

I will spare you the long drama.

just a few key points. he has admitted he likes her. he has kept a friendship with her for over 4 years.-

I never said they could not be friends, I am not the type of girl to do that stuff... even though I knew about their "friendship" and it made me jealous, I respected the friendship

last year he traded in his friendship.. for a friendship of mine ( the guy had a crush on me ) I was not to talk to the guy, and he would  stop talking to this girl.. at the time, it really sounded like a good compromise.

one year later, I am pregnant, and I  find out that he kept the friendship the whole time. lying about it the whole time. not caring if it would eventually hurt my feelings or not.

she has a boyfriend, I really doubt there  is anything romantic going on betwee them. I KNOW it s just phone and email contact. he talks to her about me and our problems. and random stuff I guess.

he defends this friendship. but i know better, and I know its not just  friendship. he hasnt invited her to our house to hang out, like the rest of his friends. she is not even around for his birthday, they have no contact.. and  I know the rest of his friends, and.. well, she would have been invited to hang IF they were just friends.. but apparently, he needs to keep this friendship a secret from me.

at what point would YOU be uncomfortable if this were your hubby??

at what time would the situation become unacceptable?

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:08 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:11 AM
we would have had a serious sit down conversation once I found out he was lying about keeping the friendship with her. Tread very carefully hun because it could get worse. My husband had the same kind of friendship with someone and they ended up sleeping together
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:13 AM
3 moms liked this

If he talks to her about problems between the two of you, it's an emotional affair.  Don't kid yourself.  He's already proven to be a liar.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:14 AM

WWYD? 


Quoting Anonymous:

If he talks to her about problems between the two of you, it's an amotional affair.  Don't kid yourself.  He's already proven to be a liar.


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:16 AM

 

what did you do? to get past it?

Quoting Anonymous:

we would have had a serious sit down conversation once I found out he was lying about keeping the friendship with her. Tread very carefully hun because it could get worse. My husband had the same kind of friendship with someone and they ended up sleeping together


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:16 AM
When you start telling the other person things that you won't even tell your spouse.

It sounds like he is in one. Good luck! Hope it can be worked through if that is what you want.
mayasmama11
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:17 AM
I agree with the previous poster. If he talks to this woman about problems ya'll have instead of coming to you about it, its gone to far. He said he stopped being friends with her but didn't.
I think it is time to issue an ultimatum. Either you or her. But that's just what I would do.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:20 AM
I left. they were talking about starting a relationship with each other or "getting to know each other better" while i was pregnant and we were engaged. He promised he would cut it off but lied to me throughout my whole pregnancy and was even texting her while we were in the hospital and the boys were born. After we separated we were trying to work on it going to counseling, talking things out, come to find out he slept with her for about 2 or 3 months while all this is going on. So I gave up and now we're going through a divorce. She cheated on him and left to move to Japan and now he's homeless. I feel a little better but I'll never trust a guy girl relationship I dont know all the details of.


Quoting Anonymous:

 


what did you do? to get past it?


Quoting Anonymous:

we would have had a serious sit down conversation once I found out he was lying about keeping the friendship with her. Tread very carefully hun because it could get worse. My husband had the same kind of friendship with someone and they ended up sleeping together



 


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:20 AM


Dump his lying ass.  If he kept up this emotional affair after saying he stopped it,  he doesn't care if you find out or not.  His relationship with her means more.  OR - he expects you to be a sucker and forgive him.  

He might be using the theory, "It's easier to get forgiveness than permission."

Quoting Anonymous:

WWYD? 


Quoting Anonymous:

If he talks to her about problems between the two of you, it's an amotional affair.  Don't kid yourself.  He's already proven to be a liar.




Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:21 AM

 WWYD if you were in my shoes?


Quoting Anonymous:

When you start telling the other person things that you won't even tell your spouse.

It sounds like he is in one. Good luck! Hope it can be worked through if that is what you want.


 

AleaKat
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 9:24 AM
For me it's the min I start sharing too much, feeling ashamed feeling like I have to hide or lie about it.
That's when things are turning south and you need to back away and do some soul searching.


Quoting Anonymous:

When you start telling the other person things that you won't even tell your spouse.



It sounds like he is in one. Good luck! Hope it can be worked through if that is what you want.
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