Sorry vent over
I have been there many times and just learned to deal with it. My dh was an otr truck driver and was only home a couple days a month. Then he started a lawn care business and seemed to be only home long enough to sleep. Its hard but I tried to think positive and concentrate on my kids.
He became a volunteer fireman without even talking to you first?
Quoting Anonymous:
Idk id see if he was getting paid at the firehallbus he's not id love to be allowed out one night to enjoy my night!
I answer this question cautiously. My husband is a firefighter as a profession and then has a few side jobs. I don't mind him working because he is taking care of his family, BUT if he were volunteering and not helping out at home I would have issues.
I can understand your frustration. My DH is a volunteer firefighter and has a full time job that is more than 40 hours a week. He also has gotten up in the middle of the night for our 2 kids maybe a handful of times. I breastfed our babies, so him feeding them wasn't an option. That part was my choice and it doesn't bother me in the least. I do get frustrated though when I ask him to do a project around the house and he is tired and wants to relax for a bit. but when a call comes in, he is up and at 'em so fast. I wish he gave 1/10 of the energy and attention to us as he does the fire dept. but it is just the nature of the job. emergencies demand that energy and attention.
when it is important, I tell him it is important and not an option. he knows that to keep me happy, there are minimum expectations from him as far as playing with the kids, doing household duties, etc. when he slacks, I remind him. you have to tell him exactly what your expectations are. he does not know he is letting you down otherwise. prioritize tasks for him so that in his free time, he can focus on what is most important.
and did he intentionally wake the kids at 5? was he being careless and noisy and accidentally woke them? or are they just really light sleepers that would wake to about anything?depending on the circumstances, I might be really pissed or maybe just annoyed at the timing. He may need to change some of his behavoirs to prevent waking them again. Like setting out clothing he needs and making sure the phone won't wake them.
My DH has not ever woken the kids with a late night or early morning call. He pisses me off when the scanner goes off on full volume in the middle of the night. He is supposed to turn it down so it doesn't wake anyone at night. I don't mind when I am woken up when the call comes in and he gets ready. I know I can go right back to sleep.
what to do when the special needs kid is the bully?
Have you ever kept a secret from your spouse?