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Lesbians and Virginity

Posted by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:41 AM
  • 18 Replies
I have many lesbian friends and some of them claim to "have" the virginity of their female spouse because that person has never been with a man or a woman before them.

I realize that to a lot of lesbians that it doesn't matter what sexual organs you are using but the "connection" you have with someone.

Something to consider: If oral sex is considered taking virginity in the lesbian community, then does the same definition go for straight people? Same goes for using sex toys to "take" virginity.

Is there simply just different definitions for everyone's sexual preference or even a person to person definition?

What is your own definition of virginity in regards to the lesbian community and the straight community?
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by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Tinabee88
by Platinum Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:45 AM
Not many heterosexuals consider oral sex to be taking another persons virginity.
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mewebb82
by Gold Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:46 AM
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I think you lose your virginity the first time you have sex. It doesn't matter what kind of sex it is or what your personal preferences are.

YngCollegeSMom
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:48 AM
So to you, if someone has oral sex (by male or female) they are no longer a virgin?

Quoting mewebb82:

I think you lose your virginity the first time you have sex. It doesn't matter what kind of sex it is or what your personal preferences are.

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allycally
by Platinum Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:52 AM
This....once u do some act of sex u are no longer a virgin.....its like people who think there's still INS because they've only given bjs or done anal

Quoting mewebb82:

I think you lose your virginity the first time you have sex. It doesn't matter what kind of sex it is or what your personal preferences are.

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Lalalie
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:57 AM

Hmm. I consider any 'penetration' to be the definition of losing virginity but I never really have thought this over, so I guess that would be odd if someone used a toy for penetration first. I guess penetration with another individual involved, or being penetrated by another individual? That would be my best definition.

Lalalie
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:59 AM
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Oh, and I define it differently per act. You can be an anal virgin if you've never had anal, same goes for vaginal... and oral, and so on. You start out as a virgin to everything, you know? You can't claim to have done it if you haven't, so until you do the act you're still a virgin in that area.

mewebb82
by Gold Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:59 AM

Yes. To me, sex is sex. 

I'm sure it's more extreme than what others think, but it's how I feel. Otherwise, how would you make the distinction between different sexual orientations, particularly females? 


Quoting YngCollegeSMom:

So to you, if someone has oral sex (by male or female) they are no longer a virgin?

Quoting mewebb82:

I think you lose your virginity the first time you have sex. It doesn't matter what kind of sex it is or what your personal preferences are.



YngCollegeSMom
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 12:00 PM
In your opinion does using fingers count as penetration? So a female who gets fingered by a male but never has had a penis inside her, is no longer a virgin?

Quoting Lalalie:

Hmm. I consider any 'penetration' to be the definition of losing virginity but I never really have thought this over, so I guess that would be odd if someone used a toy for penetration first. I guess penetration with another individual involved, or being penetrated by another individual? That would be my best definition.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Feb. 14, 2013 at 12:01 PM

A doctor and many religions judge "virginity" by the hymenal ring.  Doctors also considered ANY sexual activity as being "sexually active."  It is possible to have an intact hymenal ring AND be "sexually active" under their medical standards.

That said, I think virginity is lost when someone gives themself over for sex with another.  I don't care what is used, oral, hands, or full on sex.  I don't think virginity is lost when someone uses a toy on themself.  It isn't so much the physical aspect for me as the emotional one.  You are giving yourself to another person for your first sexual experience.

By my belief, a rape victim would still be a virgin because s/he did not give themselves to that person.  When they are later with someone and make that choice, it will still be all "new" experiences for them.

So, by my opinion, virginity and the giving of it is a concious choice.  And doing the "everything but" tricks don't save virginity by my opinion.  And, as in the case with lesbians, it is entirely possible for two "virgin" females to take each other's virginity.

Now, all that is my opinion.  Medically, the standard is set.  Personally, it is about the experience and the choice to make.

FoxFire363
by Ruby Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 12:05 PM
This is a tough question. I was with a male before I was with a female, so there was never a question of virginity there. I agree with anon, it is about a conscious choice to have sex.
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