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You have to be kidding me!!!!

Posted by Anonymous
  • 13 Replies

So DH works out of state on oil rigs, while I stay here and work full time and take care of 5 kids!  Well we have had a rocky relationship for the past 2 years, and every time I decide I am done some big thing happens in our family and I stay longer.  This last time was when his 6 yr old daughter got taken by the state from her mother and placed with us (thank god).  So I stayed to take care of her. 

Well he is always telling me everything is my fault etc. and he is always miserable and I can hardly talk to him without him being upset about something.   Well every Christmas and his birthday he acts like a big baby if he doesnt get a gift from me, so at Christmas even though I couldnt afford it I bought him a $400 rifle.  Well my birthday was last month and I never even got a card from him!  Today I have talked to him 2 times and he has not even mentioned Valentines day.  He used to send me flowers or cards etc.  But what bugs me the most is that SD's 6th birthday was yesterday and he didnt even talk to her to tell her happy birthday.  He is on his week off but he said he is broke and can not afford to come home this week.  Well he just got $2500 back from Child support that he had paid for SD, but since we have her they sent it back. He could still come home for a few days!  So then I also asked him this morning if I had a birthday party for SD at the bowling ally with pizza and bowling if he could help me pay for it (because I dont have access to HIS money)  he say "Oh here we go I get this money and now you want to spend it.  I really dont want to give you money to listen to the kids bitch because they think they need an endless supply of quarters to play the arcade games"  WTF seriously dude she is your daughter and you are not here to listen to the other kids bitch!!!  He hasnt offerd to give me $ to help giver her gifts nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!  UGH WTF 

These are not the only things obviously our relationship is strained and he is an ass this is just the tip of what has been going on.  I want to leave but I dont want to leave SD and I dont know how!!!

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:47 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by Gold Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:49 AM
Is leave him but that's me
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by Ruby Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:49 AM
Wow. His own daughter?!
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by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:51 AM

That's terrible. What a jerk. I don't know how you put up with that, I'm imagining that at this point you don't want to leave his kids with just him. :( 

If it makes you feel any better, remember that those children are very, very lucky to have you! You are doing a wonderful thing for them.


by Emerald Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:53 AM
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Wow. I'd see if its possible to leave him but still have the 6 year old. Poor baby! Happy birthday to her and happy Valentines day to you.
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by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:53 AM

Oh honey , you are being used ....and for him to treat his OWN daughter that YOU...yes YOU not him , are raising that way is ridiculous!! 

Stop letting things get in the way ...i say leave him and im betting that he would probably let you take his daughter with doesn't sound like he really wants her anyways.

by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:53 AM
I see your problem. Wish I had some advice. I guess just keep the little girl in mind. Sorry
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:54 AM

Dear god, there are so many difficult issues with your relationship! it sounds like he doesn't value his wife or family so maybe try being separated and see if he learns to appreciate what he has waiting for him at home? I would assume since your DH lives at the rig and that BM lost custody you would likely retain custody but I am not sure about that. 

P.s. My DH works in the oil field and busted his ass to get home every chance he could. Even if that meant driving for 18 hours just to be home for a few days. 

by Platinum Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:57 AM

God Bless you for dealing with his shit for the sake of the kids. I can't imagine how bad your situation must suck. If he's gonna be a jerk, just spend the money anyways, don't let him guilt you into doing without.


by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 14, 2013 at 11:58 AM
I would leave, talk to a lawyer see if there's a way you could petition for custody of his daughter. It's not like he would be able to care for her on his own if he's out on the rigs.
by Anonymous 4 on Feb. 14, 2013 at 12:02 PM
I don't see your situation getting any better,clearly he's an two legged jackass.he's forgetting that his money is not just that,it belongs to the both of you.if I where you I'd spend it anyway.
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