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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

DD's teacher ignored... *edited*

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My daughter is sensitive to red dye. It makes her crazy. It makes her hyperactive & emotional as all get out. It brings about tantrums and is just generally unpleasant. Any amount of it seems to set her off. We've discussed this with her teacher (who has seen what it does to her) and requested she not give her food or drinks containing it. Today, being Valentine's day, we knew her class would be filled with it. We sent apple juice, rice krispy treats and cookies that she could have. We even sent a bag of dye free lolly pops, in case they had candy in class. When I picked DD up today the teacher said "DD did really well today. She said you told her she could have a little bit if red dye so she just chose a few of her favorites." I was LIVID. I get my kid lied and I dealt with that but she believed a 5 year old. If I say my kid can't have something don't you think it's common sense to check before believing (in the face of temptation) that something changed? I know it's not an allergy in a medical sense and no health problems follow a slip up but the teachers irresponsibility has me so mad. DH says I need to let it go but I really want to schedule a conference and tell the teacher how angry I am and how wrong she was. What if it could have had medical consequences? we trust this lady to keep her safe. if it were your kid what would you do?





*edit* The red dye allergy, along with several other food allergies are on her medical forms, on file at the school. We send lunch, snacks, treats etc so the teacher doesn't have to read labels and guess. My daughter was in the wrong for lying and faced several consequences for it. Believe me, little bit answered for her part in things. She had to write a note to the teacher admitting that she did not tell the truth, explain what prompted her to lie and tell how she could be assured she wouldn't do so again. She had to sit out at our Valentines tea party this evening too. This mama doesn't mess around with lying. The reason I am upset is I feel like the teacher who I trust and pay to supervise my child failed to do so. Fortunately this allergy wasn't deadly, for her, others could be.
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by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 7:04 PM
Replies (71-79):
UpSheRises
by Silver Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:15 PM
1 mom liked this

You're angry because she believed your child's lie?

Sounds like you need to schedule a conference with your child, who lied.

tossed
by Platinum Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:17 PM

FYI. In most schools, the medical forms go to the school nurse and classroom teachers rarely see the forms. I was a classroom teacher and NEVER saw one medical form on my students. I remembered this when my own kids were in school and asked their teachers. NONE of the teachers ever saw the medical forms because they went to the school nurse. I am sure it is different in various districts, but it is something to keep in mind.

Melbornj
by Platinum Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:19 PM
I would let it go, you are overacting. At most I would send a note saying under no condition can she every have it.
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iuangina
by Silver Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:22 PM
I would deal with the little liar in your house, and send a simple reminder to the teacher. As a teacher, in the grand scheme of things this is a minor issue. Remind the teacher gently and then let it go.
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WithHope
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:24 PM
That is good to know. But, since my daughter does have more severe allergies and needs to consume more water & electrolytes than the average child we've conference with the teacher twice regarding dietary restrictions and matters.


Quoting tossed:

FYI. In most schools, the medical forms go to the school nurse and classroom teachers rarely see the forms. I was a classroom teacher and NEVER saw one medical form on my students. I remembered this when my own kids were in school and asked their teachers. NONE of the teachers ever saw the medical forms because they went to the school nurse. I am sure it is different in various districts, but it is something to keep in mind.


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tossed
by Platinum Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:32 PM


Even with a conference, I don't expect a teacher to remember the intricate information about every child. Also, there are often parents who are serving treats during Valentine celebrations. Maybe your daughter's school is different, but at my sons' schools, the teachers do not eat with the kids during normal days. There are cafeteria monitors who walk around and make sure that the trays are put away and that kids are not having mustard fights. It is unfortunate that your daughter lied, but if the teacher had argued with her about the issue she could have faced a parent who said, "But, I told her that since today was special, she could have one or two treats." Honestly, teachers just cannot win. They are damned if they do and damned if they don't.

If your child has a severe allergy or dietary restriction, you really need to have a 504 plan in place that follows her from year to year and from teacher to teacher. It is the only real way to have her rights in place and to have a "legal leg to stand on."  The 504 can address a plan of action and any modifications needed for your daughter. If you do not have one in place, I encourage you to do this quickly. If not, you will most likely continue to have issues because the older she gets, the more people will be involved in providing snacks and the harder it will be to restrict access to foods with dyes. That is something that is much more difficult than a peanut allergy because there are foods containing dyes that do not appear to have a dye at all. I have a reaction to a dye in a name brand prescription. I can take the generic, but not the name brand because the generic is dye free. Good luck.

Quoting WithHope:

That is good to know. But, since my daughter does have more severe allergies and needs to consume more water & electrolytes than the average child we've conference with the teacher twice regarding dietary restrictions and matters.


Quoting tossed:

FYI. In most schools, the medical forms go to the school nurse and classroom teachers rarely see the forms. I was a classroom teacher and NEVER saw one medical form on my students. I remembered this when my own kids were in school and asked their teachers. NONE of the teachers ever saw the medical forms because they went to the school nurse. I am sure it is different in various districts, but it is something to keep in mind.




acrogodess
by Ruby Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:33 PM
1 mom liked this
I'd schedule a conference, but I would make it clear to the teacher, I am not angry. I am aware dd is to blame for lying, but to please call me if dd tries to pull anything again. I would also explain while the red dye sensitivity won't harm dd medically, that she does have other allergies that can indeed make her ill and to please do her best to make sure she isn't allowed any of the items marked on the forms and that you have already previously discussed.
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WithHope
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:39 PM
I think this idea. We've said unless we send it, she doesn't need it but maybe a conference and reiterating that she can call whenever would help.


Quoting acrogodess:

I'd schedule a conference, but I would make it clear to the teacher, I am not angry. I am aware dd is to blame for lying, but to please call me if dd tries to pull anything again. I would also explain while the red dye sensitivity won't harm dd medically, that she does have other allergies that can indeed make her ill and to please do her best to make sure she isn't allowed any of the items marked on the forms and that you have already previously discussed.

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acrogodess
by Ruby Member on Feb. 14, 2013 at 8:51 PM
Ds has several mild allergies. I need to test him one more time though because the last time he had fresh pineapple he was having trouble breathing, his lips swelled and his skin was flushed. He doesn't have an epipen since all his allergies are mild allergies so I gave him his asthma pump to open his airways and a zyrtec for the other symptoms. Thank goodness I remained calm. I worry about what if something like that had happened while I wasn't around.

Quoting WithHope:

I think this idea. We've said unless we send it, she doesn't need it but maybe a conference and reiterating that she can call whenever would help.




Quoting acrogodess:

I'd schedule a conference, but I would make it clear to the teacher, I am not angry. I am aware dd is to blame for lying, but to please call me if dd tries to pull anything again. I would also explain while the red dye sensitivity won't harm dd medically, that she does have other allergies that can indeed make her ill and to please do her best to make sure she isn't allowed any of the items marked on the forms and that you have already previously discussed.

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