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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

He said I gained too much weight :'( Sorry kinda long but please read!

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
My ex, who I've known for about 12 years, who was my first love...my first everything, recently told me I have gained too much weight...I usually don't care what anyone thinks but this hurt. See we broke up 7 years ago, apparently neither of us got over each other and have both admitted that we have thought of one another everyday since we split. We started talking again back in October and he hadn't seen me pretty much since we broke up when I was 17. I'm 24 now. I knew I'd gained a good bit of weight since then and I was afraid of him seeing me in person for that reason. One night I said screw it because I really wanted to be close to him and smell hos familiar smell again after so long. We were talking every chance we got before then, after he saw me he started acting different. I knew it was my appearance because he loves everything about me, except that I guess. He finally admitted to me about a week ago that my weight is an issue for him. He said he doesn't want to hurt me by saying that because he thinks I'm beautiful and he loves me but if we ever got back together he would like me to be the size I was when we broke up. I don't want him to know how much it hurt me, because I want to lose the weight myself, but he thinks if I stay the size I am now it will create an attraction issue and if we get back together he wants it to be forever. Says he knows this life is meant for us. That no one compares to me and just super sweet stuff like that. I'm with someone so I know it's not going to happen for us anytime soon because the guy I'm with is my childs father and I do love him. Being back with my ex is all I've wanted since we broke up but I'm not dropping everything for him, he hurt me SO badly and claims he wants to spend the rest of his days making it up to me but the whole fat thing just threw me off and kind of made me lose some respect for him. He recently got honorably discharged from the army and he's a very good looking guy. I actually still love him, I'm embarrassed to say that since I'm with someone but I can't just turn my feelings off like that. So now he's (my ex) is sleeping (fuck friends) with a girl I know and his ex-wifes friend and she's super skinny but not too pretty (I hate to judge but he's so sexy I know he could do better) but the super skinny part just frustrates me because I'll never be that small. Idk how to feel about what he said, I know I need to lose the weight but I don't want to do it for him, I want to do it for me and my little girl. I want to be healthy. I just can't help that it hurts. I really needed to get this off my chest. I hope someone can lend a few kind words or advice. My mind is so screwed up.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 15, 2013 at 12:58 AM
Replies (21-30):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 15, 2013 at 1:39 AM
My current s/o has had no job for the five years we've been together, drinks excessively, and just isn't the sweet guy I fell in love with. I am not leaving him for my ex, I've made that clear to my ex as well. Talking with him had made me appreciate my current a lot more, so it could have been a good thing but it still hurts.


Quoting chas1217:

I feel bad for the man you're with now. You're having these conversations with your ex and he's there loving you for you, no matter what size and you're emotionally cheating on him with someone who is telling you he loves you, but you have to be a certain size before you're good enough to be with him. That's not fair to your so that you have now.


If you want to lose the weight, do it for you, not for him. What happens when you leave you current so for your ex (after you're good enough for him again) and then you get pregnant again and gain some weight? Or just gain weight because it just happens sometimes, then he leaves you because you're not the "right" size. Guy sounds like a douche.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 15, 2013 at 1:46 AM
Your reply made me cry, thank you so much for that. I do love my little girl to pieces and would die for her. I would never want her to ever feel like she isn't good enough for someone. I would want her to feel and know she is beautiful and deserves the world! Do I wish I could get back to 150? Yes, it's not skinny but it's better than the weight I am now which is 240. Almost a hundred pounds heavier :/


Quoting brandonjr5:

My grandparents have been married for over 50 years my nanny has gained weight, has grey hair and wrinkles, but my grandfather still looks at her like she is the most beautiful thing in the world.  Love is blind, if he loved you for real it would be unconditionally!

I can tell you love your little girl so much, I can tell just from the little bit I read....  I want you to pretend she is older and some guy just done this to her.  What would you tell her to do?  Wouldn't you be so mad that some one could cut her down like that?  Make your baby proud and stick up for yourself!  Kick his ass the the curb forever and tell him no offences I just can't be attracted to a jerk!  No one has the right to tell you what your body should look like.  And be proud of your body I'm 25 have 2 little boys and I know my body looks nothing like it did when I was 17....  But everyday I look at my 2 little guys I know it was worth.


I hope my reply helps you <3


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 15, 2013 at 1:46 AM
And that story about your grandparents is super sweet. I want a love like that.


Quoting brandonjr5:

My grandparents have been married for over 50 years my nanny has gained weight, has grey hair and wrinkles, but my grandfather still looks at her like she is the most beautiful thing in the world.  Love is blind, if he loved you for real it would be unconditionally!

I can tell you love your little girl so much, I can tell just from the little bit I read....  I want you to pretend she is older and some guy just done this to her.  What would you tell her to do?  Wouldn't you be so mad that some one could cut her down like that?  Make your baby proud and stick up for yourself!  Kick his ass the the curb forever and tell him no offences I just can't be attracted to a jerk!  No one has the right to tell you what your body should look like.  And be proud of your body I'm 25 have 2 little boys and I know my body looks nothing like it did when I was 17....  But everyday I look at my 2 little guys I know it was worth.


I hope my reply helps you <3


BamBamsmomma
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 1:48 AM
Even if you are over weight he still shouldn't have said anything and in my opinion I think you should really try to get over him. He will be no good for you. By all means lose the weight but do it for yourself and your baby girl don't do it because some prick told you that you were to big. And don't let what he said get you down. Please try not to just put it out of your mind and focus on your husband and daughter who love you no matter your weight and just want you happy. I'm on a journey to lose weight too good luck with yours and no matter what don't let what he says get to you love yourself and believe in yourself for the sake of your mentality and your daughter.


Quoting Anonymous:

He said he didn't want to tell me. He was taking pain killers that night for his back(the reason he got out of the army) and was feeling "confessional". I was around 150 when we split up. I'm not 240. I'm right at 5ft so I carry the weight throughout and I feel like a big blob. He said he just wants our relationship to be physical attration as well as mental. He's 180 but he's tall and has a little around the middle. But by no means is he fat. Heftier than when he was 17 though. I tried not to let it bother me but it does. Everytime I eat I think about it. Makes me not want to eat at all. I lost some of the respect I had for him a week ago :/




Quoting BamBamsmomma:

My first question how big are you? Like size height and weight. My second question how do you have any respect for this man? My opinion if he really loved you for you then he wouldn't let your weight get in the way of that. You've had a baby and you are not 17 anymore. I have body issues I was 150 and had extreme body issues because I was close to 200 until I was almost 18 then dropped to 150 but the issues stayed now their stronger than ever because I'm back to 180 after having ds in November. Hearing that a man flat out told you you're fat upsets me that could do so much damage and he did it without a thought.


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tossed
by Platinum Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 1:52 AM

I have an ex I will always love. I have loved him for over 30 years. But, I know we will never be together and we both moved on, that does nothing to the fact I will always love him. I say this to indicate I understand your feelings, but you need to stay away from him. You have a man and he is the father of your child. You are not the same girl you were when you were 17. Stop talking to him and learn to love the life you have now. He was honest with you and I know it hurts, but it is better now than later. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 15, 2013 at 1:53 AM
Thank you! This is why I came here, I have no girlfriends to.talk to really and I just needed another woman to tell me how crazy I am for still loving this man.


Quoting BamBamsmomma:

Even if you are over weight he still shouldn't have said anything and in my opinion I think you should really try to get over him. He will be no good for you. By all means lose the weight but do it for yourself and your baby girl don't do it because some prick told you that you were to big. And don't let what he said get you down. Please try not to just put it out of your mind and focus on your husband and daughter who love you no matter your weight and just want you happy. I'm on a journey to lose weight too good luck with yours and no matter what don't let what he says get to you love yourself and believe in yourself for the sake of your mentality and your daughter.




Quoting Anonymous:

He said he didn't want to tell me. He was taking pain killers that night for his back(the reason he got out of the army) and was feeling "confessional". I was around 150 when we split up. I'm not 240. I'm right at 5ft so I carry the weight throughout and I feel like a big blob. He said he just wants our relationship to be physical attration as well as mental. He's 180 but he's tall and has a little around the middle. But by no means is he fat. Heftier than when he was 17 though. I tried not to let it bother me but it does. Everytime I eat I think about it. Makes me not want to eat at all. I lost some of the respect I had for him a week ago :/






Quoting BamBamsmomma:

My first question how big are you? Like size height and weight. My second question how do you have any respect for this man? My opinion if he really loved you for you then he wouldn't let your weight get in the way of that. You've had a baby and you are not 17 anymore. I have body issues I was 150 and had extreme body issues because I was close to 200 until I was almost 18 then dropped to 150 but the issues stayed now their stronger than ever because I'm back to 180 after having ds in November. Hearing that a man flat out told you you're fat upsets me that could do so much damage and he did it without a thought.



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 15, 2013 at 2:00 AM
1 mom liked this
If he's that shallow you don't need him...sorry besides after having kids it's hard to lose weight... In my case the medicine I need to function on a daily bases has made me gain the weight... Your SO loves you weight and all.. So love him and your LO and get thin for y'all not some ex's half ass opinion of you!!
BamBamsmomma
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 2:00 AM
You're welcome:) I don't have any girlfriends to talk to either. You can pm me anytime or send me a friend request if you'd like too. I wouldn't mind it'd be great to have someone to talk to:)


Quoting Anonymous:

Thank you! This is why I came here, I have no girlfriends to.talk to really and I just needed another woman to tell me how crazy I am for still loving this man.




Quoting BamBamsmomma:

Even if you are over weight he still shouldn't have said anything and in my opinion I think you should really try to get over him. He will be no good for you. By all means lose the weight but do it for yourself and your baby girl don't do it because some prick told you that you were to big. And don't let what he said get you down. Please try not to just put it out of your mind and focus on your husband and daughter who love you no matter your weight and just want you happy. I'm on a journey to lose weight too good luck with yours and no matter what don't let what he says get to you love yourself and believe in yourself for the sake of your mentality and your daughter.






Quoting Anonymous:

He said he didn't want to tell me. He was taking pain killers that night for his back(the reason he got out of the army) and was feeling "confessional". I was around 150 when we split up. I'm not 240. I'm right at 5ft so I carry the weight throughout and I feel like a big blob. He said he just wants our relationship to be physical attration as well as mental. He's 180 but he's tall and has a little around the middle. But by no means is he fat. Heftier than when he was 17 though. I tried not to let it bother me but it does. Everytime I eat I think about it. Makes me not want to eat at all. I lost some of the respect I had for him a week ago :/








Quoting BamBamsmomma:

My first question how big are you? Like size height and weight. My second question how do you have any respect for this man? My opinion if he really loved you for you then he wouldn't let your weight get in the way of that. You've had a baby and you are not 17 anymore. I have body issues I was 150 and had extreme body issues because I was close to 200 until I was almost 18 then dropped to 150 but the issues stayed now their stronger than ever because I'm back to 180 after having ds in November. Hearing that a man flat out told you you're fat upsets me that could do so much damage and he did it without a thought.




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MommySwiggles
by Gold Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 2:02 AM

He's not worth your time.

kgsharber
by Gold Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 2:04 AM
2 moms liked this

 You need to lose the weight and rub it in his face. Screw that. He is clearly your ex for a reason. Leave it that way.

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