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My sd hates me.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
Before I married my dh, I never really got to deal with sd. I only saw her four or five times (she lived on the west coast and we live on the east) dh and I married last April and she came for the wedding. Instead of a honeymoon, we took a family vacation since it didn't make since for her to come all the way here for just a few days. We even let her bring a friend. She came for Thanksgiving and decided to stay. I admit, I tried to buy her. Since she was originally here for a week, I took her on a shopping spree to get her all new clothes. Then it only made since that she take my car and I get a new one, but she wanted a lime green beetle. Dh was against it, but I sided with her and we got her her car.
Even with all that, she won't speak to me. At all. Not a good morning, hey missy, kiss my ass missy, nothing.
She is in therapy and the therapist told dh that she thinks its best that we don't force sd to talk to me. To let her work through it on her own.

Maybe I'm just hormonal, but its really getting to me. And ideas on what to do?.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 15, 2013 at 3:50 PM
Replies (21-26):
by Silver Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 4:20 PM

I wish I was more help, but my step parents came into my life when I was young and both were better than my actual parents. My step dad moved in with my grandma and us kids while my mom chose the drugs and booze and my step mom spent hours sewing me clothes for my dolls and blankets for them and helped my build doll houses and would come get me to hang out even though my dad never came. When my step dad died my am started seeing my new step dad within six months. I was 15 but didn't take it out on Jeff, I stopped talking to my mom. Jeff and I talk all the time. He and I order each other books off amazon as surprises because we both like to read. I think I took to Jeff so well because he was patient with me, let me set the tone of our friendship and didn't ever try to be a parent, just someone I could talk to and be friendly with. 

by Platinum Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 4:21 PM

I figured as much, just still bitter (been 25 years, lol) and something came up earlier about it, so I suppose I was kind of venting even if it wasn't relevant.

Teenagers (and I have 1) seem to feel betrayed easily. The world is against them (so they thnk).  As others say, all you can really do is give it time.  Don't push her

Quoting Anonymous:

I don't do cocain (or any drugs) and I'm glad she's here because dh loves her being here. I guess I just thought I'd finally have a dd figure to treat to spa days and such. I have a ds from a previous relationship and we're expecting another ds in May.

Quoting dandylynes:

Not really advice here, just my experience.  My step mother bought me off.  All was good for a bit, but after they married, I felt like she ws ousting me from the family.  Probably because she was (she hid cocaine in my room and called the cops on me and had me arrested).  

by Anonymous 5 on Feb. 15, 2013 at 4:22 PM
Idk. My step mother's a bitch & had only gotten worse the older I get.
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 4:24 PM

A teen that doesn't like her stepmom? 

by Kim on Feb. 15, 2013 at 4:24 PM

She is a typical 16 year old. Most 16 years old hate anyone in an authority role. I hated my parents when I was 16. Stop trying to buy her love, and let her be pissy. She will grow out of it eventually.

by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 4:29 PM

 volunteer work is required in our family starting at age 8. Not every weekend but 1 time every 6-8 weeks for 4hours we go help make brown bag meals for the 400 homeless school age kids the charity org. helps.  On top of being a great character builder it's wonderful to add to the college application as well as for grants and scholarships.  

GL though 

Quoting Anonymous:

She's taking classes at the cc as well as her regular hs class (one reason she wanted to move here) so a pt job is out of the question. She does do chores around the house of dh ask her.

Quoting chane_L:

welcome to the teen yrs ( they suck!!!! ) I'm sure that the old phrase "animals that eat their young" must be talking about the teen yrs.  you can't force anything just be kind (hi, are you hungry, sort of stuff and lock the checkbook up) talk to your hubs about maybe her getting a lil job , or voluteer at a food bank for x amount of hours to work for her auto insurance . Responsiblity tends to grow respect.   GL 

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