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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

SD meltdown :(

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 7 Replies
My SD is 5, her father and I have had full custody of her for a year now, her mother doesn't have visitation, it's up to us when and if she can see SD. Last year she only saw her twice, but apart from one other time her mother didn't come by or ask to see her any other time. The last time she was supposed to come, she never showed and SD was heartbroken.

This weekend BM said she wanted to come see SD. We're a little skeptical because the only motivation she has for seeing SD is because its her baby's first birthday and the father (her on and off bf) lives nearby. We decided not to tell SD her mom was coming that way if she doesn't show again then SD won't be heartbroken and I she does show then SD will be surprised and I imagine happy even if she is only supposed to visit for a couple hours (she lives nearly 6 hours away).

Today when I picked up SD from school we didn't even make it home and she was in tears, another meltdown because she was missing her mom. My heart broke listening to her in hysterics. I really wish she could see her mom more, but unfortunately she chose a life of drugs, boys and partying over SD and now she's pregnant with her 3rd child. Needless to say she has a long path ahead of her before she can spend more time with SD. After the major meltdown today I'm starting to wonder if this little visit is going to cause more harm than good? Are we doing the right thing by not telling her that BM is supposed to be coming?
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 15, 2013 at 4:54 PM
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Replies (1-7):
deputygirls28
by Gold Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 4:57 PM
Yup. That way she won't be let down. A "surprise" would be best. I hope that woman cleans up and gets better for the kids.
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LovelyMommy24
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 4:57 PM
Aww :(
Yes, if her mother doesn't end up keeping those plans with her it will do more harm. Tell her there's a surprise for her this weekend, if BM doesn't follow through do something special for her.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 15, 2013 at 4:57 PM
You will cause more heart break by telling her she is coming and having BM flake. If BM shows up good, if not at least your SD wont be disappointed
loretta6262
by Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 5:06 PM

You are doing the right thing. I don't know how many times my father(and he didn't have drugs as an excuse, just other women and selfishness) promised to come and see me only to disappoint me and not show up for another couple of years. It;'s bad that she feels she has the choice to be a drop in parent, but hopefully the child will learn that she has a mother in you eventually. She will always miss her birth-mother, but hopefully you will be able to fill the void some. I hope too that the mother can clean up for the sake of her kids, but that's not likely to happen before the damage is done more than it already is. Good luck, maybe time will help her heal.The child I mean.

shivasgirl
by Platinum Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 5:07 PM

are you in my custodial stepmom group?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 15, 2013 at 5:13 PM
No, I had no idea there was one.

Quoting shivasgirl:

are you in my custodial stepmom group?

shivasgirl
by Platinum Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 6:03 PM

since you are anon, just go to my homepage and there is a link

Quoting Anonymous:

No, I had no idea there was one.

Quoting shivasgirl:

are you in my custodial stepmom group?


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