This weekend BM said she wanted to come see SD. We're a little skeptical because the only motivation she has for seeing SD is because its her baby's first birthday and the father (her on and off bf) lives nearby. We decided not to tell SD her mom was coming that way if she doesn't show again then SD won't be heartbroken and I she does show then SD will be surprised and I imagine happy even if she is only supposed to visit for a couple hours (she lives nearly 6 hours away).
Today when I picked up SD from school we didn't even make it home and she was in tears, another meltdown because she was missing her mom. My heart broke listening to her in hysterics. I really wish she could see her mom more, but unfortunately she chose a life of drugs, boys and partying over SD and now she's pregnant with her 3rd child. Needless to say she has a long path ahead of her before she can spend more time with SD. After the major meltdown today I'm starting to wonder if this little visit is going to cause more harm than good? Are we doing the right thing by not telling her that BM is supposed to be coming?