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my 6 yo niece was molested :(

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 39 Replies
Yesturday she was over and we were talking. I knew she spent the night at a new friends house this weekend so yesturday while we were making cookies I asked her how the sleepover went.

Immediately her mood changed... She got kind of quiet like she didn't want to talk about it. So I asked "did you have fun" - "yes" she answered.
"Was _ mommy & daddy nice?"
Again "yes" she told me.
"Does _ have any bothers or sisters?"
"she has one brother & one sister"
"were they nice to you?" I asked

She nodded & looked down....

I asked her what's wrong & then she told me .....

While everyone was sleeping the girls brother woke her up in the middle of the night, took her to his room & then he stuck his hand down the front of her pants.

MY HEART SANK & STOMACH KNOTTED :(

I asked if she told her mommy (my sis) & daddy what happened, she said no because he told her if she said anything he would kill her mommy.

I held her for what seemed like forever, then my sweet, innocent niece tells me with tears running down her face "please don't tell mommy- I dont want her to die"

In that moment I folder her I wouldn't (I was trying to calm her down & basically just said what she wanted to hear)

My niece fell asleep on the couch shortly after & I called my sis & told her I had to talk to her to get back quickly (I didn't want to tell her over the phone then have her drive back in a panic, having her mind occupied & BAM get into an accident)
She got here & I told her exactly what my niece said.
My poor sister fell to the floor :(

My niece heard her mom crying, woke up & my sis asked her.
My niece immediately looked at me with such a betrayed look on her face. She said "you told her??? Why would you do that?" Then she said she hated me & would never trust me again :(

In my heart I know I did the right thing telling my sister (obviously) but I am feeling so guilty thinking I may have potentially broken the trust & bond my niece and I have had for her whole life. I love her like my own child & I will fight to protect het like my own -- I just hope she can forgive me one day & know I did it for her not to hurt her.

btw- my sister & her DH called the police last night & are dealing with the situation.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 15, 2013 at 5:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 15, 2013 at 5:57 PM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 15, 2013 at 5:59 PM
1 mom liked this
Omg I'm so sorry that she had to go through something like that my daughter is 6 as well and that is my biggest fear I'd have to kill somebody. This is the reason why I'm terrified to have her sleep over anyone's house. Hugs to you and your family . Don't worry about your niece just sit down and explain to her why you told her mom on her level she will understand that you love her and your there to protect her. Take care.
AllofFive19
by Ruby Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 5:59 PM
2 moms liked this

I'm sorry that had to happen, but you should've encouraged her to tell her parents. Tell her that her parents will protect themselves and her.

theosgirl45
by Platinum Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 5:59 PM

She will forgive you for it.  She will come to realize that keeping it to herself would have been very damaging and that the boy deserves to punished for what he did. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 15, 2013 at 6:00 PM
1 mom liked this
Did you reassure her that he wouldnt be laying a single damn finger on her mother? Poor girl probably thought you condemned her mother to death.
aidyns_mommy
by Platinum Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 6:00 PM
I am so sorry! I know you must feel terrible, but you had to do it.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
autiemama516
by Silver Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 6:01 PM

Oh wow I am so sorry Hugs

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 15, 2013 at 6:01 PM
1 mom liked this
You should have never promised her you wouldn't tell.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 15, 2013 at 6:02 PM

Never tell a child that you won't tell anyone what they told you.  If you (general "you") are someone that child trusts, you don't want to ruin that.  If a child says or acts like something is going on they need to talk about and asks you not to tell, you respond in a way that does not support that as a promise.  Such as "sounds like you have something heavy on your mind" etc.

I recently went through a training on CPS reporting and sexual abuse was part of it and how to respond if a child brings up something like this.

SunshineBird
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 6:02 PM

Oh god, that's so awful. I'm so sorry she and the rest of you had to go through this. Nothing terrifies a mom more than hearing that. :(

You did what you had to do even though it meant betraying her trust. She is just too young to understand all of why you had to do it. I doubt she will even remember this for long once she realizes her mom isn't going to be hurt. I highly doubt it will effect your relationship with her. 

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