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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

I don't want anyone coming to see me and the baby for the first day in the hospital

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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4 moms liked this

 

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Question: Am I being unreasonable in what I want?

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Yes

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I am 33 weeks pregnant with DH's first child, my second. I really don't want people visiting, at least not the first day. For one, I want this to be a bonding time for my, DH and DD (she is 4) not a revolving door of visitors coming in and out. That is how it was with my DD and it was miserable, there I was, exhausted, looking like Hell and just wanting to bond with my baby and get some rest and people kept coming. This is especially hard for a mom who is breastfeeding. I always thought people waited to be invited to come see mom and baby at the hospital but with DD I learned quickly that unless you tell people you don't want visitors, people are going to come.

The way I invsion it, DH, my mom and my grandma will be in the delivery room (possibly with DD)  and soon after the birth, grandma and mom will leave and the four of us can bond as a family. Then my mom will come pick up DD leaving just me and DH.

DH thinks the rest of my family and his family should be able to come in to visit shortly after. Maybe it's because he doesn't understand, never been in the situation but that is not the time to have visitors, it is the time for us to bond as a family and baby to start nursing.

TBH, I didn't want visitors at the hosptial at all but as a comprimise, I might consider allowing vistors to come on the second day but asking them to call first.


Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Perfect.Pixie
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:26 PM
4 moms liked this
That's sounds reasonable
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:27 PM
1 mom liked this

ive already made this decision about when we have #2. it was the same way with my first and miserable!! the only people that will be allowed to visit the first day will be my mom and stepdad.

isnt it crazy how people just take it upon themselves to just show up. some didn't even knock before coming in. I don't understand it.

cara124
by Bronze Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:28 PM
5 moms liked this
Tell the doctors what you want the will in force it for you .
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Elle.tea.22
by Ruby Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:28 PM
1 mom liked this

Tell the nurse no visitors and tell your family you will see them the 2nd day. Why is that so difficult?

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:28 PM
6 moms liked this

MIL was talking about how she can't wait to hold the baby, she is going to run in the second he is out, according to her, which is what actually started this conversation with DH. I know that people will be excited but the baby isn't going anywhere, all I am asking, as his mother, is to have at least the first 24 hours with him.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:29 PM
3 moms liked this
I felt the exact same way with my second (dhs first). I let people visit me the next day. I did however let my in laws come for a little bit after the baby was born since it was their first grand child. My mother in law wanted to be in the labor and delivery room but I wouldn't let that happen.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:29 PM
2 moms liked this
I agree but I think if there are certain people your husband really wants to invite to the meet the baby the first day he should be able to... Within reason. I mean as long as his list isn't 20 people long
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:30 PM
2 moms liked this

I know, right? DH says it's unfair to his family that my mom and grandma will get to see the baby, well they are the people I want in the delivery room, which is a decision I think I should get to make as I will be the one exposed to everyone in the room and in a great deal of pain


Quoting Elle.tea.22:

Tell the nurse no visitors and tell your family you will see them the 2nd day. Why is that so difficult?



waffa
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:31 PM
38 moms liked this

"Other" vote here. Not unreasonable for you and your family as they have already been thru the experience of a 1st, BUT unreasonable to his family having never experienced his 1st.

and, by having YOUR Mom & Gma in delivery with dh, his family might resent you.

just food for thought.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 15, 2013 at 9:31 PM
2 moms liked this
Sounds fine. I know for me I wanted everyone to come. I had an awesome delivery and was completely thrilled to have everyone come up and see us.
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