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I don't know what to think, someone please help

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I am in utter shock. I just don't know what to think about this. I am not even sure how to feel about it. I can't even concentrate on anything right now. My husband got irritated at our kids tonight. We went out to eat and our son was whiny...he's 5. Our daughter was moody. She's10. He asked her a question and she just wouldn't say anything. I hate when she does that. It's like talking to a brick wall. I had no clue what was wrong with her.

But I guess he had enough and wouldn't sit with us. I feel like I've been betrayed, like he turned his back on us. I don't know what to say about it. It felt like he just hated us. I am just in utter shock. He's never done this before.Ever. I just cannot find the words to say anything to him right I dumbfounded or is taking everything I have right now to write this. I do not know what to do, I don't know what to say.  DS did act a little ungreatful and extremely whiny, but I just don't see how that is an excuse to check out of the family for a while. I felt like a single mom sitting there. I completely ignored him like he did us.  Why is it that the men get to check out...why? Why do they get to step back and when we gothome hom he made a family annoucement that he is not taking the kids out or buying anymore toys. While I agree with that...I am just not in ageeance that he just sat by himself. I think it was wrong. It kind of feels like a slap in the face. Almost like he doesn't love us or he's sick of us. Can someone help me make sense of this. I can't even do my homework. I feel like I lost somethingand I don't even know what...I feel like I've just suddenly fallen into a depression.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 15, 2013 at 10:06 PM
Replies (11-20):
by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 10:14 PM


Quoting oOoLeilanioOo:

Maybe it's a good thing, he could have been at his breaking point. I'd prefer he sit by himself rather than hit the kids or something.

by Ruby Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 10:15 PM

maybe he gave himself a timeout so he doesn't say or do something he will regret. i have to leave a room  when  my 11 yr old ds gets moody & wont talk. it's best for both of us.

by Silver Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 10:16 PM

While I understand why you are upset, I can also understand why he might have wanted to step away. There have been times when my kids have been driving me nuts and I need to walk away from them. You may be over reacting a little bit but instead of him refusing to sit with you and ignore you, he could have just stepped outside for a few minutes.

by Platinum Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 10:17 PM

 He's the adult but he's acting like a petulant child. I would treat him as such and ignore the hell out of him and have a wonderful meal without him. Seeing how much it bothers you will only strengthen his desire to be immature. What an ass. Period.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 15, 2013 at 10:17 PM

I really can't help the way I feel. This was a public place...this was sopossed to be family time.  We don't get a lot of it.  He can be bad about taking his stress out on us.  He even made the remark about dropping us off where we were and him going somewhere else. It just makes me feel as though he hates going places with us.   I do not know how to get a child to quit whining and he knows if you leave dd alone she calms down and quits being moody....I just don't know how to talk to him and he has no idea I'm upset.

by Anonymous 6 on Feb. 15, 2013 at 10:17 PM

You sound really over sensitive.

by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 10:18 PM

maybe he just needed a minute.  I think you are over thinking it a bit.  Give him some space and let things settle down.

by Anonymous 7 on Feb. 15, 2013 at 10:18 PM

why dont you try checking out for  while some evening for a lil bit?  it will give him a taste of his own medicine

by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 10:19 PM

I think he was at his breaking point.  Going away was better than yelling at the kids.  He dealt with it when he was calmer.  I imagine that his moving would have made me feel like I was a failure and part of the problem or that he just abandoned me, so I get your upset.  But looking at it from outside, I think you might be taking it too much to heart and he really just needed to decompress.

Good luck getting the kiddos in line.

by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 10:19 PM

It was better to do what he did than to make a scene!!!!! Yes, it hurt you.  

But use this as the wake-up call for some family meeting time.   Sounds like he has reached some "end of his rope" situation in parenting and family...

PLEASE see if there are parenting classes  and DO plan on getting MORE couple time. Leave them kids at home once a week with a sitter.   Trade babysitting with another family and leave them kids behind.  They do get tedious.  Can't even think your own thoughts for 5 minutes with them around. 

Well, do NOT take it personal.   This is your signal to take some action and make it better.

My theory is since I promised for better OR worse... I sure do NOT want worse, so I think when things are bad.. HOW and just what can start to do to make this BETTER....

Good luck.  Get some good sleep- do not dwell on it all night.  You will think more clearly in the morning.

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