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I don't know what to think, someone please help

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I am in utter shock. I just don't know what to think about this. I am not even sure how to feel about it. I can't even concentrate on anything right now. My husband got irritated at our kids tonight. We went out to eat and our son was whiny...he's 5. Our daughter was moody. She's10. He asked her a question and she just wouldn't say anything. I hate when she does that. It's like talking to a brick wall. I had no clue what was wrong with her.

But I guess he had enough and wouldn't sit with us. I feel like I've been betrayed, like he turned his back on us. I don't know what to say about it. It felt like he just hated us. I am just in utter shock. He's never done this before.Ever. I just cannot find the words to say anything to him right I dumbfounded or is taking everything I have right now to write this. I do not know what to do, I don't know what to say.  DS did act a little ungreatful and extremely whiny, but I just don't see how that is an excuse to check out of the family for a while. I felt like a single mom sitting there. I completely ignored him like he did us.  Why is it that the men get to check out...why? Why do they get to step back and when we gothome hom he made a family annoucement that he is not taking the kids out or buying anymore toys. While I agree with that...I am just not in ageeance that he just sat by himself. I think it was wrong. It kind of feels like a slap in the face. Almost like he doesn't love us or he's sick of us. Can someone help me make sense of this. I can't even do my homework. I feel like I lost somethingand I don't even know what...I feel like I've just suddenly fallen into a depression.

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 15, 2013 at 10:06 PM
Replies (31-38):
by Platinum Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 10:29 PM


Quoting Anonymous:


This is what I am talking about!

Quoting bullemhead:

 Her husband is acting like an immature 3 year old in a damn restaurant, in front of the children and other patrons of the restaurant and she's overly sensitive? I don't think so. He needs to act like an adult, finish the meal, and deal with his issues in a private setting as most adults do.

Quoting Anonymous:

You sound really over sensitive.





by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 10:30 PM
Wow At first I thought you were going to say he beat the kids or something. I would just talk to him about it later. Do you allow your kids to behave like brats and not let him discipline?
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by Anonymous 9 on Feb. 15, 2013 at 10:32 PM

Sounds like he was at the end of his rope. He needed a time-out and took it. I've gone into my bedroom and locked the door because I just could not take one.more.thing.

Give him a break. I think you need to shake it off and be mature about it. He obviously spent the time thinking about why both his kids were misbehaving and decided to put his foot down over it. It probably didn't have anything to do with you, unless he  blames you for their behavior.

by Silver Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 10:33 PM

 I agree.

Quoting Crazy-Steph:

Personally, I think you are overreacting slightly.He was fed up. It's no different than if you went into your bedroom at home, alone for a while.

Who says moms don't get to check out? There are nights I just can't do anymore and I slip off alone.


by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 10:34 PM

Not while you were out! That is so wrong to walk out on your family like that. I could understand being at home and leaving the dinner table because he just needed a break but not out in public. I would have felt abandoned too. and your kids. wow.... But please, he probably didn't put to much thought into his actions. Let him calm down and ignore it for now. When you guys seem on a happier note just tell him how you felt when he walked away from you and the kids. Tell hi you understand it can get frustrating but ask him not to do it in public. It's on thing to walk into another room in your house but to refuse to sit with you at a restaurant is awful.

by Gold Member on Feb. 15, 2013 at 10:39 PM

He would have stayed right there at the restaurant when I left with the children. DH and I have a 20 year old DD and a 17 year old DS and he would never do anything like that. Wait til you get to the moody teenager years,then you will really have problems with you husband. I suggest that the two of you figure that out soon and he needs to also think how he made the children feel with his actions,he is suppose to be an adult and parent,not a pouty child who isn't getting his way.

by on Feb. 15, 2013 at 10:41 PM
I think you're right. That would be embarrassing. :( He needs to be mature and firm with the kids and not just check out. He got mad at your daughter for doing the exact same thing! Talk to him about it. He should be partnering with you. Not waking away from you and leaving you at another table. :( that's not right.

Why couldn't he just say "that's it lets go" and leave?

Quoting Anonymous:

I can understand needing a minute, but to just ignore us for a whole hour? i think that was a little much. Whenever I need parenting help, he decides to check out.  I am the one who has to do all the disipline and he's the one that yells from the chair.   The kids settled down within 10 minutes and began acting right....why couldn't he have joined us?

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 15, 2013 at 10:48 PM

I agree with you ....he isn't one to beat the kids...I just can't think sometimes when I'm in a shocked frame of mind. He doesn't know I'm upset about what happened. I just honestly have no idea what to say to him about it.  Yes, I am glad he stepped back....I am not happy that he never joined us. It's the fact he never joined us that is getting to me.  I do not deal well at all with abandonment  at all.  I deal with the feeling of being abondoned by my birth mother...even though I went into a foster home at 3 days old. The feeling is still there.  

Sometimes I feel I deal better with the kids when I am alone with them. I know when kids are being kids and when they are just plain being bad. Sometimes I think DH just doesn't like our dd and just picks her out to get on to her over something. She is 10 and treats her like she's older than that and should know more. He thinks she's slow and backward...and she's not. She is a sensetive child who needs gentleness. He refuses to see it and thinks she's annoying.  Yes, she can annoy me sometimes to, it's her moodiness that gets to me and refusing to acknowledge you are talking to her. I do not know how to get her to respect her things. She is alway breaking something.  Our son has gotten incredibly whiny lately. DH seems to think I have turned him into a mama's boy just because he prefers me.  I am unsure about how to deal with the whining. My dd never really did that ds whines more when we are together. ds know he care where down daddy and get just about whatever he wants. He is also indecisive. I can deal with him on my own much better than when we are together. I will just leave the store. 

Quoting Anonymous:

ok so he stepped away and took a time out when he got upset with the kids ?

are you teaching your kids how to step back when they get up set and take a time out form whats upsetting them ? 

maybe you should have left  but im a firm believer that  you cant learn to drive with out a car kids cant learn to go out with out doing it 

if your so upset with him i get that  you feel he abandoned you and the kids  may not be cool but think of this at least he knew he was upset and took a time out and dint get home beat the hell out of them emotionally or physically 

IMHO count your blessings that he had enough sense  to walk away  b4 getting pissed and that he has the good sense  to take a time out from the situation 

me i would have asked for the food to go  i woudl have taken the kids out to the car as hubby paid colected food  and on the way home stopped so hubby and i could pick up some nice yummy ice cream cones  fro me and him and let them watch us eat them  when they ask why they don't get one simple  only ppl who behave  correctly out to eat get goodies 

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