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PIOG: debate male's abortion rights

Posted by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 2:50 AM
  • 130 Replies

Convince me of your opinion. Because I really don't know how I feel either way. 

Should the father of a baby have some say in a female's decision to abort or carry a pregnancy?

If so, how much? Should he be able to block the abortion entirely if he chooses to leave the woman and raise the child on his own? 

If not, why not? Why, then, can a male be expected to pay child support for a child he would rather have aborted? 

"It takes two" to make a baby, why not take two to get an abortion?  




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by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 2:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
theosgirl45
by Platinum Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 2:52 AM

I am on the fence about this as well.  On one hand its her body that has to go through that but on the other hand she can abort whether the father wants her to or not, his opinion doesn't matter. But if he doesn't want the child and she does he has no rights until its time to pay for the child.  Its a strange thing.  I just can't decide.

laineysmum
by Silver Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 2:57 AM

that's my issue. I'm pro-choice, but I haven't really considered it from the male perspective.

It's complicated by the fact that my only real experience with "breaking the news" about a pregnancy was with DH (then just BF), but we'd been together for 5 years and he was so happy and supportive, and come from really supportive families - not to mention abortion isn't a personal option for me.  So it's tough for me to imagine less-than-optimal situations that many many pregnany women find themselves in. 

Somehow, though, the current system doesn't seem fair. If the man wants the opposite outcome of the woman, it's sorry Charlie, with extreme financial and/or emotional implications.. 

Quoting theosgirl45:

I am on the fence about this as well.  On one hand its her body that has to go through that but on the other hand she can abort whether the father wants her to or not, his opinion doesn't matter. But if he doesn't want the child and she does he has no rights until its time to pay for the child.  Its a strange thing.  I just can't decide.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 16, 2013 at 3:01 AM
3 moms liked this

For me it is simple - until he can carry the baby to term, he does not have to go through any of the possible negative affects of pregnancy. He does not have to potentially jeopardize his health, worry about time off of work, give birth, have the potential for a c-section or have to deal with recovery. I also do not think he should have to pay child support for a child he would rather have aborted. He should be able to legally walk away before the baby is born. Ideally we wouldn't have sex with people who we didn't share the same views with, but it will never happen like that. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 16, 2013 at 3:04 AM
6 moms liked this

 Because no one has the right to control some one elses body.

Yes he should have to supply support.Once the baby is here the baby is a minor and deserves support from both parents.If a father winds up with custody of a baby then the mother should have to provide child support.To deny a minor child support from a parent is to in effect punish the only " innocent "one involved.My state bases support on a percentage of income of the non custodial parent.As long as the child has proper food ,clothing ,housing and medical care it is up to the custodial parent to spend the money.Support is not about the other parent but the child.Back support is proper even after a child is grown...with out the chance of being forced to pay at some point way too many non-custodial parents would not pay and just wait it out.

bowribbonmama
by Ruby Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 3:12 AM
When he is the one that has to carry the pregnancy HE can decide what happens.
HOWEVER, I fully believe that he should be able to sign off ALL rights, visits & CS included. He should not be able to access visits if he doesn't want to pay CS.
I also think that a couple should discuss abortion, adoption and keeping the potentional child BEFORE sexual intercourse.
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ArianEponae
by Silver Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 3:14 AM
I've been trying to get men's abortion rights in the form of a walk away clause for years. Cliff notes:
Once the woman notifies the man of the pregnancy, he should be given a set amount of time to "choose to abort" even if she decides to have the child. Obviously, his choice would simply mean he would have zero responsibility for support of the child...as if the child had been aborted. In these cases, the man would have to file a petition with the court, normally before the pregnancy resulted in birth. However, in the case of his not being informed prior to birth, he would be given three months to decide.

Its late, and I'm tired...hope that made sense. I am completely against the man being able to force the woman to give birth, as out is her body and her health at risk.
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Neuro
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 3:17 AM
2 moms liked this

It's not really something I have interest in debating, but forcing a woman to carry out a pregnancy is disgusting and barbaric. Not just because of the health risks involved, the lost wages, the bodily changes and so on but because it is a blatant violation of one's human rights to be forced out of being able to make a medical decision for themselves if they are of sound mind to do so (meaning, that do not have a power of attorney, they are mentally capable of making their own decisions) AND DOUBLE SO if carrying out the pregnancy would deteriorate or further deteriorate the woman's mental health.

The paradox of logic is shit, I'll admit that. That "it's my body" when she wants to get an abortion and "it's your baby too" when she wants to keep the child and receive support. This is where it's the man's duty to himself and his possibly future children to develop a firm understanding of where this woman is in her feelings regarding child-bearing. Although a woman's opinion regarding whether she'd get an abortion pre-pregnancy may not hold once the pregnancy actually occurs, but that's the unfortunate risk a man takes when he chooses to pursue a sexual relationship with a woman. Honestly the only solution I could see to this would be a pre-arranged legal agreement regarding whether or not to sign away his rights pre-pregnancy so if the woman DOES make the decision to go through with the pregnancy, there won't be any confusion, but that's a long shot of an idea and to some, may seem awfully radical and inhumane.

It sucks. It's shitty logic. However, I can't imagine how much worse it would be if a man could legally force a woman to undergo a pregnancy. Honestly, that sounds like beyond third-world country quality horror right there. I think a woman should take her partner's opinions and feelings to heart, but should not be in any way forced to undergo a procedure or birth she does not desire.

abigailsmommy11
by Silver Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 3:18 AM

I believe that if she wants to abort and he wants to raise the child himself that she should carry the baby to term and then sign over her rights when the baby is born. If he wants to abort and she does not, he should be able to sign away his rights when the baby is born. Neither of them should pay child support in these sitiuations. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 16, 2013 at 3:19 AM
What if they aren't together and she hides the pregnancy so that he doesn't know til rut child is born? Should he still be able to say no, I don't wasn't a child?

Quoting Anonymous:

For me it is simple - until he can carry the baby to term, he does not have to go through any of the possible negative affects of pregnancy. He does not have to potentially jeopardize his health, worry about time off of work, give birth, have the potential for a c-section or have to deal with recovery. I also do not think he should have to pay child support for a child he would rather have aborted. He should be able to legally walk away before the baby is born. Ideally we wouldn't have sex with people who we didn't share the same views with, but it will never happen like that. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 16, 2013 at 3:23 AM
The problem here is that the woman can legally abort and have no responsibility, but the man must live with her choice either way. Why should he have to pay to support a child he never wanted? Shouldn't there be an option for him to say no? As in, prior to the third trimester, he could file with the court staying that he'd like a financial/emotional abortion, even though the woman is choosing to give birth

Quoting Anonymous:

 Because no one has the right to control some one elses body.


Yes he should have to supply support.Once the baby is here the baby is a minor and deserves support from both parents.If a father winds up with custody of a baby then the mother should have to provide child support.To deny a minor child support from a parent is to in effect punish the only " innocent "one involved.My state bases support on a percentage of income of the non custodial parent.As long as the child has proper food ,clothing ,housing and medical care it is up to the custodial parent to spend the money.Support is not about the other parent but the child.Back support is proper even after a child is grown...with out the chance of being forced to pay at some point way too many non-custodial parents would not pay and just wait it out.

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