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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

idk what to do

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

I have no idea what to do, ds wants his friend to sleep over but dh doesnt want him to. his reasons are crazy. the kid is from the projects and dh doesn't like that. he said we need to know the parents and he isnt sure he wants to mingle with people like that. he doesnt mind that ds is friends with the kid, he just said that the parents are probably scum and he that if ds wants to sleep over there he would never ever approve of it. from what i have seen, the kid is really good and ds gets on well with him. but dh is concerned about the parents and where the kid is from

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 16, 2013 at 9:46 AM
Replies (31-40):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:12 AM

 yeah DH and I have to meet the parents if they want to stay over (there could be an emergency that we need to contact the parents for, you know safety and i am always a worry wart LOL) but i think it would be better to have a friendly acquaintance with the parents but i agree the drama would completely suck

Quoting Jebekarue:

Just because your kids are friends doesn't necessarily mean that you have to be friends with the parent(s)  I think I have met 3 of my dd friends parents and that was so she could spend the night.  Thankfully they lived in nice neighborhoods and they seemed like decent people. 

It feels strange not having tons of friends, but I have learned over the years I can't stand the freakin drama, being dragged into divorces and having to pick sides.  It bothers me not having people to hang out with and I do get lonely but I have been there done that and it makes me crazy.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:17 AM

 we dont have an issue with the kid, jeez we aren't total assholes LOL we are worried about the family that he comes from. even when we move the kids' friends from school will be welcome but DH is just concerned over that particular family. to be honest, so am I. I have met many of the parents that live in those project (I am room mom and head PTA at the school) and they aren't the nicest people. When we have to make home calls for parents to get involved they are really rude and they dont even want to be bothered to help out in their own childrens classrooms or help by sending in supplies.

Quoting leavinglasvegas:

I missed the post that said that you're moving next month - why sweat this? He won't be living close enough to ever see this kid again so why use that time to make it clear to this child that he isn't good enough to be in your house?

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:17 AM
Just arrange to meet the parents when you know DH will be there, he's acting like a brat.
ATL958
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:18 AM
I'm sorry...that's terrible!


Quoting MammaPaparazza:

I'm with you! This brought up a memory... When I started dating my dh he was from the nicer district and where I grew up was considered the other side of the tracks but not the ghetto, it was middle class town.

His real mother at lunch one day told his sister "oh no, there will be no more boyfriends from Levittown"

I was like WTF lady I'm sitting right here!!!

Then upon talking to step mother in law I find out that she herself was from the hood... Literally the worst neighborhood.

Now that hurt my feelings -here I am a respectable person and to hear someone else down talk where my parents did the best they could to raise us , and she grew up worse! She just got lucky buying a broken house in rich hood and dh dad fixed it up

Hard to blame the kids :(




Quoting ATL958:

I grew up poor, and my very best friend's family was wealthy.





I am glad that they never allowed our friendship to be terminated because of my social standing.





I understand where your DH is coming from, to a degree, because I would be choosy about my child's associates. Not because of where they are from (projects), but based on their home life. After all, a wealthy family can be FULL of people that I wouldn't want my child around (heard of the Kardashians?).





All of that being said....a good indicator of that child's home life and upbringing can be seen in the child himself. Is he well mannered and polite? If so, then who cares if he lives in the projects.





Make arrangements to meet the family. Invite them over for dinner, or make a play date at a public park. Then make a decision.


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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:19 AM

 not a brat LOL but i can see his worry. what if they turn out to be these ghetto druggies that are completely awful i know that may not be the case, they can be the best people in the world and we may not even know it. (dh isnt a people person to begin with lol)

Quoting Anonymous:

Just arrange to meet the parents when you know DH will be there, he's acting like a brat.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:21 AM
Invite the kid over - let him see a Judgmental Asshole lives.
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:23 AM

 hey that judgemental asshole provides very well for his family and is worried about their safety and who they hang around with. that judgemental asshole used to work where that kid lives and has seen first hand that types that live out there.

Quoting Anonymous:

Invite the kid over - let him see a Judgmental Asshole lives.

 

Lizardannie1966
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:24 AM

Definitely go meet the parent's of this other boy (even have them over to your home, so they can see where their child might spend the night). This way, they can also get to know you and your Dh a little and be assured that their child will be safe and have a good time if the boy's are given the green light for the sleepover.

Too, maybe it will hopefully help your husband to learn not to make a snap judgement of people before he meets them.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:24 AM
I can understand not wanting your kid over there, not wanting to become best friends, but go to say "hi, we just wanted to meet face to face before we let your son spend the night" is not a big deal IMO. Then again where I grew up we were a middle class everyday family, but much of the surrounding areas of the city were very poor. It's not something that makes me uncomfortable. Usually if the kid is a good kid at least one parent is doing alright kwim?

Quoting Anonymous:

 not a brat LOL but i can see his worry. what if they turn out to be these ghetto druggies that are completely awful i know that may not be the case, they can be the best people in the world and we may not even know it. (dh isnt a people person to begin with lol)



Quoting Anonymous:

Just arrange to meet the parents when you know DH will be there, he's acting like a brat.


 

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spunky946
by Ruby Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 10:25 AM

I think he needs to meet them before making any more ASSumptions.

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