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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Abortion Adoption and Equal Rights

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

 

Poll

Question: Which seems more equal/fair to you?

Options:

pro choice. Men should have the ability to have an emotional/financial abortion within a time frame

pro choice. Men should be forced to live with the woman's decision and post cs is she chooses to have the baby

pro life. Men who would choose to put the child up for adoption should not have to pay cs if the woman keeps the child.

pro life. Men should pay cs if the woman keeps the child.

other. please explain


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 162

View Results

Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 16, 2013 at 2:45 PM
Replies (21-30):
momof2boy2girl
by Valerie on Feb. 16, 2013 at 5:05 PM


Quoting angevil53:

Men have the option to opt out of baby making before it happens so he needs to deal with what a woman chooses. My opinion.

This. Do what you can to prevent it, but be ready if the small chance if bc/condom failure happens and a baby comes along.

ThatSkinnyGirl
by FAT on Feb. 16, 2013 at 5:06 PM
Men don't have rights over a woman's uterus. If she chooses to terminate, that's her choice. He cannot force her to carry to term, even if he says he intends to parent. In an ideal world, the mother would take his feelings into consideration and sign over all rights. But if she ultimately decides she cannot go through with the pregnancy, no one should be able to tell her otherwise. We wouldn't want him to tell her she HAD to abort, either.

Quoting Anonymous:

They are. Unfortunately, when I posted it as the same option I ended up with a huge abortion debate instead of men's rights



Quoting KairisMama:

 Aren't choice one and three kind of the same? Men should have a right not to be forced into supporting a child he didn't want from the get go, yes? 

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 16, 2013 at 5:13 PM

I would add an amendment, that if the mother takes longer than 2 years to start the process of paternity establishment then the father cannot be forced to pay any back child support.  IF at the time paternity is established the father does not want a relationship his rights are terminated.  IF he wants to be part of his child's life CS starts at the court date where he declares he wants his rights (w/in 6 months of DNA results). 

I hate hearing of the cases where a woman waits 8 years before going on state aid for a father to find out he is a father, and in some states they go back to birth for arrears.  Yay you won the anti-lotto, you now owe your ex 40K!!!!

Quoting Anonymous:

What about cases where they break up prior to his knowing about the pregnancy, and the woman gives birth before telling him?

Quoting CrazyLife1996:

I believe if a man doesn't want the child from the start then he should have the right not to be financially responsible. In order to do that though he must relinquish any and all rights to the child during or directly after birth.



However it is not OK if he has been supportive during pregnancy and then gets cold feet or just plain greedy.


angevil53
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 5:25 PM
Idt you're understanding me. She has the right to choose. It's no longer his choice bc he gave up the rights to his semen the moment he deposited into her body. He also made it clear he is willing to financially support a child in that instance. Just as she can choose to not have it or to have it. She keeps the kid and has to support the baby. He created it the same as she did.


Quoting Anonymous:

By that reasoning, so should the woman. Betting you'd be first in line to cry equal rights or sexism if the woman's rights were in question.



Quoting angevil53:

Well the woman has to deal with the physical impact of the pregnancy. I don't think it's right to force anyone to do something with their body. However men don't have to see their kids. But taking financial responsibility for a child that he created whether he decides he wants it or not is the right thing to do. If she's fine with him giving up rights then that's up to them together. A man needs to realize pretty much anytime he has sex there's potential there for a child in nine months. No excuses for him to just give up rights.






Quoting KairisMama:

 With that logic so do women, but they are still legally allowed to abort anyway.




 The OPs debate is in the double stadard of it all, since men can be FORCED to pay child support even if they don't want the responsibility of a child, should unwanted pregnancy occur.




Quoting angevil53:

Men have the option to opt out of baby making before it happens so he needs to deal with what a woman chooses. My opinion.



 



Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 16, 2013 at 5:33 PM
I agree that the physical choices should be the woman's, as its her body. However, because a man gets no say in those, he's also getting no say in the rest of his life in regards to the child if she chooses to keep it. In this, the system is flawed. He needs an option that allows him to walk away without further involvement, like signing off rights and responsibility. That way, he's not pushing for an abortion but he's getting the same result in his life

Quoting ThatSkinnyGirl:

Men don't have rights over a woman's uterus. If she chooses to terminate, that's her choice. He cannot force her to carry to term, even if he says he intends to parent. In an ideal world, the mother would take his feelings into consideration and sign over all rights. But if she ultimately decides she cannot go through with the pregnancy, no one should be able to tell her otherwise. We wouldn't want him to tell her she HAD to abort, either.



Quoting Anonymous:

They are. Unfortunately, when I posted it as the same option I ended up with a huge abortion debate instead of men's rights





Quoting KairisMama:

 Aren't choice one and three kind of the same? Men should have a right not to be forced into supporting a child he didn't want from the get go, yes? 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 16, 2013 at 5:37 PM
So, a broken condom is his way of saying yes I want to pay cs for the next 18 years?
They created the pregnancy together, but the law gives the woman the choice to end it. Why can't the man have a similar option? Not to end the pregnancy, a that is her body, but to have zero involvement with it and the child that results from it?

Quoting angevil53:

Idt you're understanding me. She has the right to choose. It's no longer his choice bc he gave up the rights to his semen the moment he deposited into her body. He also made it clear he is willing to financially support a child in that instance. Just as she can choose to not have it or to have it. She keeps the kid and has to support the baby. He created it the same as she did.




Quoting Anonymous:

By that reasoning, so should the woman. Betting you'd be first in line to cry equal rights or sexism if the woman's rights were in question.





Quoting angevil53:

Well the woman has to deal with the physical impact of the pregnancy. I don't think it's right to force anyone to do something with their body. However men don't have to see their kids. But taking financial responsibility for a child that he created whether he decides he wants it or not is the right thing to do. If she's fine with him giving up rights then that's up to them together. A man needs to realize pretty much anytime he has sex there's potential there for a child in nine months. No excuses for him to just give up rights.








Quoting KairisMama:

 With that logic so do women, but they are still legally allowed to abort anyway.





 The OPs debate is in the double stadard of it all, since men can be FORCED to pay child support even if they don't want the responsibility of a child, should unwanted pregnancy occur.





Quoting angevil53:

Men have the option to opt out of baby making before it happens so he needs to deal with what a woman chooses. My opinion.




 



sheymann
by Gold Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 5:37 PM

I think that a woman should be forced to carry the child if the father wants to keep it. You spread your legs knowing you might get pregnant. It is his child as well, you don't get to take that away because you don't want your body to change.

However, if the father wants to give up his rights, he should be allowed to as well. Within a time frame. 

I also don't believe that women should be allowed to come back after x number of years and go "you're a father! Give me money!"

cuppycake1919
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 5:39 PM
This


Quoting angevil53:

Men have the option to opt out of baby making before it happens so he needs to deal with what a woman chooses. My opinion.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Feb. 16, 2013 at 5:41 PM
Should the man be responsible for her loss of wages, possibly loss of job, in the event that he prevents the abortion?

Quoting sheymann:

I think that a woman should be forced to carry the child if the father wants to keep it. You spread your legs knowing you might get pregnant. It is his child as well, you don't get to take that away because you don't want your body to change.

However, if the father wants to give up his rights, he should be allowed to as well. Within a time frame. 

I also don't believe that women should be allowed to come back after x number of years and go "you're a father! Give me money!"

Mcelly
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 5:43 PM
How does a man have an aboetion?

How about man stop screwing around and dont impregnate women. they should also not complai about paying child support because teally its not that much. No one can force a woman to have an abortion.
and the losers who dont use condoms knock some one up, i will gladly drive them to the nearest brigde so they can jump to their death.
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