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my husband wants me to get an abortion -update 2/22 - another small update

Posted by Anonymous
  • 261 Replies
He says we can't afford another baby and all we had planned for dd (private school/extracurriculars). He said it isn't fair to anyone if we have another baby. He knows I would feel guilt and regret everyday for the rest of my life. He says he would too and we could get counseling and help eachother. I am so sad. He just thinks it is going to ruin our lives to have another baby. I feel like if I have an abortion it is going to ruin my life. I feel like I'm always expected to be selfless for everyone else instead of it ever being what I want. I feel like if I don't get an abortion he will resent me forever and if I do get it then I will resent myself forever. I hate this.

Update - he is still demanding I get an abortion. I am still completely against it and he knows that. He still says I am going to ruin all our lives and I'm not being fair to anyone. When I said I can't live with myself if I have an abortion he said oh sure you can you'll be fine. He keeps saying "why do you keep acting like I'm an asshole for this. It is just as hard on me" then he said "well I'm sorry we have to put you through this but it has to be done". Wtf is his problem? My heart is so broken that he is acting like this. He even said I probably planned this. Talk about a slap in the face. I knew he was so against more kids and I've been on his ass for 3 years to get snipped if he is so against it but he won't and always wanted me to get fixed. I said no and got the mirena. Come to find out the stupid thing fell out and I didn't realize it and that is how I got pregnant. I am just so hurt that he is being such an ass. He is so confident that he is going to talk me into this and I am so upset and he obviously doesn't care how I feel as long as he doesn't have to deal with another kid.

Update 2/21 - well, I just want to start off by saying I am NOT having an abortion and I have made that very clear to him. I have my first ultrasound on Wednesday but he does not want to go. Fine, whatever. He semed to be doing way better, dropped the abortion, did voice a few things about being worried about finances. Last night things seemed perfectly back to normal. Then he woke up this morning all pissy and mad at me yet again. He was just being a general ass, saying I don't do anything around the house, criticizing my dinner last night (beef/green bean casserole which is a fav of his, his moms raised corn, rice, and crescent rolls - all absolute favs of his), saying I'm lazy, throwing a fit about not wanting chili for dinner, just being difficult in general. Then dd was messing around and not listening and spilled cranberry juice all over and I kind of got on her for not listening and acting like a clown. And he goes, really snotty and jerky, "oh yeah we should just have three more" and I snapped and told him to shut up and he said no and then just kept repeating it. We were supposed to all go ti a home show today but I told him if he can't treat me nicely then I'm not going with him. So he got all pouty and said fine we aren't going then. So I was like you'd seriously rather sit around pouting than just be nice to me? And he didn't answer so I said "well I don't want to sit here with you acting like an ass all day" and he told me to leave then and I said no you need to leave because you are obviously so unhappy here. He didn't answer and now I guess we aren't talking. He pisses me off so bad. He is being stupid and immature and I am so sick of this shit. I have already told him three times now if he is so unhappy with it then leave. Seriously I'd rather just do this myself than put up with his shit.

Another small update - seriously? We are back to the stupid abortion talk. I said I don't understand why he can't understand why I don't want one. He said "well I don't understand why you want to abort everything we have worked hard for by doing this. You need to write a list about the good of having this baby and I will write a list about everything that is bad about it." are you fucking kidding me? I don't have to write shit and I don't care to hear his list of stupid selfishness. I pulled up planned parenthoods website because it details the abortion. I just wanted to show him how horrible (and expensive it is) and I told him and he didn't even react. Like he obviously doesn't care. I don't understand why he is ruining our lives by acting like this.
Posted by Anonymous on Feb. 16, 2013 at 5:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 5:49 PM
22 moms liked this

well then maybe his stupid ass should have prevented getting you pregnant.

by Bronze Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 5:49 PM
Either keep it or adoption
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by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 5:49 PM

Well now that we know what HE feels, how do you feel...

by Jamie on Feb. 16, 2013 at 5:50 PM
21 moms liked this

well no offense

pull your dd out of private school and send her to public

one more child is not going to kill you guys

and if you dont want an abortion dont let him bully you

by Gold Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 5:50 PM
Your body. Do what you are comfortable doing.
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by Gold Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 5:50 PM
Do what's best for you. You are going to be the one with physical and emotional scars
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by on Feb. 16, 2013 at 5:50 PM

That's a tough spot.

I wouldn't get one.

by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 16, 2013 at 5:50 PM
Your body and life, not just his. He should have thought of that before he agreed to have sex. You do what's right for you.
by Ruby Member on Feb. 16, 2013 at 5:50 PM
8 moms liked this

Sometimes, you have to make the decision that you can live with even when others disagree. 

by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 16, 2013 at 5:51 PM
15 moms liked this
I'm sorry but your DH is an ass! And if my DH ever suggested I have an abortion, he would very very quickly become my STBXDH!
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