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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Do you think we are bad parents. *edited

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My husband and I have made a decision.
We are moving back to Florida from Tennessee. My husband will be starting school in the fall to be a database administrator. He is taking a direct job instead of a contractor job so that he can have benefits and steady guaranteed work.
We will be able to buy a home and get back on our feet with our finances.
I am starting barrel racing (a life long dream), and getting a part time job.. Our daughter will start pre-k next fall. At a school that is amazing and her great grandmother is there everyday as well as her cousins. My daughter will have 20 acres to run and play on and be a kid that isn't trapped in an apartment in the middle of a city. (not bashing any one whose kids are. Its just not how i want her to grow up).

I ask because, my inlaws are pissed. They are saying we are selfish parents and care nothing about our daughter and only care about our own selfish dreams. So.. Because we are better-ing our lives then we are selfish.They say we are only going back because my family spoils me. They are saying Im just a spoiled brat because my grandpa is.giving me his truck when he retires. Because he's buying another one. They say I don't deserve to have better vehicle then them because i don't work. (yes i do) they have a 2003 durango from a buy here pay here and my grandpa is giving me a 2011 Toyota Tundra. Its not my fault their truck got repo-ed.

Long story short. My mother in law thinks my 26 year old husband is still 12 and doesn't know how to detach the apron strings. She thinks he still needs to be living with her. And constantly under her watch.

I knew I could come to CM for an honest opinion.
So do what it is you do ladies! Voice your opnions!

** For those saying there is more to the story. Please read the replies.
Im not some materialistic person.. My husband and I want better for our daughters future. My husband WILL have guaranteed work and until you know the field my husband works in. You wouldnt understand the concept of me saying that.

I will answer on and off today 02/17 as we are packing up to head home tomorrow.
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by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 12:14 AM
Replies (91-96):
camsmami
by Silver Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 4:00 PM
Thank you. I was just telling dh how i would think they would encourage us. Not say hateful mean things about it. You'd think they would be proud that he's doing better for his family.

Quoting robyann:

Your inlaws are just upset that you are taking your dd far away from them, and also that dh is going to be far away too. I can understand their feelings, I am a mawmaw, lol. I do understand BUT I don't think it is right. We as parents of grown kids have a whole new hard job. We need to encourage our kids to go out there and chase their dreams, to do what is in their best interest, etc....Alot of times this is painful for us, our hearts want them near us, but we have to step back and see the bigger picture and by trying to make them stay we are being selfish. It's hard to be a parent at all the different stages, and it's even hard when they are grown...but as a mom you should always put your child's best interest above your own wants. 

My dd moved away and it about broke my heart. But she had to live her own life and I respect her for it. She ended up moving back after 5 years. I did have lots of visits though. So maybe reassure your mil that you will make sure there are lots of visits. GL

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rockgal81
by Steph on Feb. 17, 2013 at 4:00 PM
1 mom liked this
They'll get over it. It's your life and you guys get to decide where you want to live. The comment about you not deserving a better car than them was uncalled for and makes them sound dickish. Stay strong mom! You're doing the right thing for your family.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 17, 2013 at 4:06 PM
1 mom liked this

I think your MIL is just upset that you're moving away. Let her be. However, that does not mean she gets to call you selfish or act like they are the only grandparents and family that matter. Next time she says you're selfish, remind her that she's pretty much saying wanting to better your life and more importantly the life of your daughter is wrong. Doesn't that sound selfish? She doesn't get to call the shots when it comes to your family. If it was me (And it has been in the past) I'd let her know that she has two choices, she can get on board and be supportive or she can shut her mouth about it. Sure she can be upset that her granddaughter is moving far away from her, but she does not get to make rude comments about it.

LilliesValley
by Ruby Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 4:06 PM
Mil needs to get over it. Op following your dreams and your husbands as responsibly as you can. We tried and failed with dh returning to school and our paying for it financially but I'd still let him do another dream. Lifes short and Mil is probably worried about her relationship with your dd and may be a little sorry or sore over dreams they didnt follow. Follow your dreams, they could pan out.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 17, 2013 at 4:09 PM

Before telling them about the move and your grandfather giving you his truck ....

How was your relationship with them ?

From what You have said here it sounds like a mixture of Anger and Jealousy on their part.  You and Your husband need to do what is best for Your family. If Your in laws can't be supportive in anyway it is more than likely even better that you are moving away from the area they live in . Are they the controlling type ? 

My family and I just moved to FL in Oct. My oldest son is here in college and my parents recently moved here as well. My in laws were and are nothing but supportive. My MIL was very sad to see us move but she knew it was the best thing for us . I am thankful every day that we all get along so well. 

camsmami
by Silver Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 5:47 PM
My inlaws are very controlling of everything that dh and I do. The entire time I've been a mom they have found something hateful to say about everything I do with my dd. We aren't allowed to punish her. We aren't allowed to reward her. We aren't allowed to be her parents without them constantly trying to override what we do.
We haven't lived with them for over 3 years and they like to pretend that we are still under age.


Quoting Anonymous:

Before telling them about the move and your grandfather giving you his truck ....

How was your relationship with them ?

From what You have said here it sounds like a mixture of Anger and Jealousy on their part.  You and Your husband need to do what is best for Your family. If Your in laws can't be supportive in anyway it is more than likely even better that you are moving away from the area they live in . Are they the controlling type ? 

My family and I just moved to FL in Oct. My oldest son is here in college and my parents recently moved here as well. My in laws were and are nothing but supportive. My MIL was very sad to see us move but she knew it was the best thing for us . I am thankful every day that we all get along so well. 

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