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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Husband first or kids first??

Posted by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:04 AM
  • 150 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Should the husband and wife relationship come before the kids?

Options:

Yes

No

Other, because its always here


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 188

View Results

Just wondering what the general thought is on this..
For me it's husband.. A kids sense of security and love comes from their parents and if the parents relationship isn't a priority to them then the kids suffer. You see it time and time again in broken families, where the kids were put first to the detriment of the marriage.

Disclaimer: I'm not talking about physical needs such as food or clothes, but emotional ones. The parents being united in all things, and taking time for each other to show their kids what a healthy relationship is.
Also if you are a single mom I don't believe in all cases that the kids suffer (although every kid needs two parents preferably) but there are definitely some cases where the mom doesn't do her job (as with two parents homes as well) so don't take this as a taunt towards you.
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:04 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:06 AM
Husband
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:08 AM
My kids come first, but my relationship with DF is still a priority. I think the cases where parents put the kids as a priority to that extreme, have other issues that made them want to disconnect anyways.
You can have a healthy relationship while still putting the kids first.
Aleta775
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:08 AM
2 moms liked this

I will never understand why one should be put before the other. Sometimes I give my husband all of my attention and then sometimes I give it all to my dd. It depends on who needs me more at the time. We also do a lot together as a family. I think husbands and children need equal attention. 

alexsmomaubrys2
by Ruby Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:09 AM

My relationship with myself comes first!

NoahandEliza
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:11 AM
1 mom liked this
I think I tend to put the kids first. By saying that it doesn't mean I neglect my marriage though. Just like if you put your marriage first, you're not neglecting your kids.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:12 AM
Other there are times dd gets all my attention but after bedtime or date nights that grandma keeps dd there is plenty of time to give the bf attention as well.



I think both relationships are equally important. Its just about learning to balance that time you put in with both.
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Cbreland07
by Ruby Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:28 AM
I don't think those cases are really an extreme.. The national divorce rate is ridiculous and most of those have 1 or more kids. It's simple things, like daddy says no, mommy says yes that start working at a marriage. Kids are smart and they will play parents against one another if they are allowed. It doesn't make them bad kids, it just makes them kids and acting as immature as they are. Yes there are extremes to either side but I don't believe that it's just the extreme cases that cause a marriage to fail


Quoting Anonymous:

My kids come first, but my relationship with DF is still a priority. I think the cases where parents put the kids as a priority to that extreme, have other issues that made them want to disconnect anyways.

You can have a healthy relationship while still putting the kids first.

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:31 AM

The father of my son made the choice for me by being unfaithful. My son comes first. If he wanted our relationship to be important than he wouldn't have done the things he did.

brettsmomma
by ~Tammie~ on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:32 AM

My kid comes first. I wouldn't even want to be with my husband if he didn't feel the same exact way.

We did things backwards according to the cafemom gods but I dont care. My life wouldn't be even close to where it is at right this moment if my son hadnt of been born.

Photo: -Randi.

Mamasgirl524
by Platinum Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:33 AM
1 mom liked this
My kids will always come first.
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