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Choosing to be gay (sort of a S/O)

Posted by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 1:29 PM
  • 65 Replies

What do you think of her statements? This isn't a bashfest, I just noticed that many people say it's impossible to choose, and she's saying it's not impossible for everyone. I just want to know what you think.


Cynthia Nixon On Being Gay: 'For Me It's A Choice'

Cynthia Nixon

Gay fans might have applauded Cynthia Nixon's decision to come out in 2004, but her remarks in a controversial new interview might now leave them feeling a little incensed.

Asked about skeptics who question the legitimacy of her relationship with longtime partner Christine Marinoni, the "Sex and the City" star, who is currently promoting her new Broadway show "Wit," told The New York Times:

"I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better.’ And they tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice. And for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me. A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it’s a choice, then we could opt out. I say it doesn’t matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not."

Nixon then went on to note:

"Why can’t it be a choice? Why is that any less legitimate? It seems we’re just ceding this point to bigots who are demanding it, and I don’t think that they should define the terms of the debate. I also feel like people think I was walking around in a cloud and didn’t realize I was gay, which I find really offensive. I find it offensive to me, but I also find it offensive to all the men I’ve been out with."

Prior to her relationship with Marinoni, an education activist, Nixon was involved with English professor Danny Mozes, with whom she has two children.

America Blog writer John Aravosis was among those to criticize Nixon's choice of words. "It's not a 'choice,' unless you consider my opting to date a guy with brown hair versus a guy with blonde hair a 'choice,'" he writes. "It's only a choice among flavors I already like... every religious right hatemonger is now going to quote this woman every single time they want to deny us our civil rights."


by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 1:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MrsBridges19
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 1:31 PM

Being gay isn't a choice.  Why would anyone choose something that would make them disliked by a lot of people or make their life difficult.  That's like saying black people choose to be black, or Asians choose to be Asian.

MamaRae85
by Platinum Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 1:32 PM

I get that. But why do you think she's saying that it's a choice for her? Do you believe she's not telling the truth?

Quoting MrsBridges19:

Being gay isn't a choice.  Why would anyone choose something that would make them disliked by a lot of people or make their life difficult.  That's like saying black people choose to be black, or Asians choose to be Asian.



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 17, 2013 at 1:33 PM
She said for her it was a choice.. not all gays.

I feel that some people just are, while others choose. I'm not repulsed by women. I think if i got tired of men's shit to a certain extent, I may choose to be with a woman.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 17, 2013 at 1:34 PM
I agree. I am making a choice to not be gay. I get that it might not be that way for everyone.

I could just as easily choose to be gay, and find a woman to be in a companionship with ... But I found a man.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 17, 2013 at 1:34 PM
1 mom liked this

IMO she's bi. She likes both, has been with both, and is now choosing to only be with women.

MamaRae85
by Platinum Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 1:35 PM
1 mom liked this

Yeah, she was careful to maintain that it's a personal choice. That not everyone chooses it. I just have noticed that many people think she's not "legitimately" gay. It seems like you agree with her that it CAN be a choice for some.

Quoting Anonymous:

She said for her it was a choice.. not all gays.

I feel that some people just are, while others choose. I'm not repulsed by women. I think if i got tired of men's shit to a certain extent, I may choose to be with a woman.



ThatSkinnyGirl
by FAT on Feb. 17, 2013 at 1:35 PM
Shes being purposely inflammatory, but I think she's referring to what is called sexual fluidity. A lot of people simply fall in love.

Quoting MamaRae85:

I get that. But why do you think she's saying that it's a choice for her? Do you believe she's not telling the truth?

Quoting MrsBridges19:

Being gay isn't a choice.  Why would anyone choose something that would make them disliked by a lot of people or make their life difficult.  That's like saying black people choose to be black, or Asians choose to be Asian.


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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 17, 2013 at 1:35 PM
Because if it makes them happier, they'll choose to do it. I could careless what people think about it & wouldn't avoid that route because it's frowned upon.
Don't get me wrong, I don't think every gay chooses it.. but some? Yes.


Quoting MrsBridges19:

Being gay isn't a choice.  Why would anyone choose something that would make them disliked by a lot of people or make their life difficult.  That's like saying black people choose to be black, or Asians choose to be Asian.


caito
by Ruby Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 1:36 PM
If it's a choice for her, she's bi, not gay. This is coming from a bi woman. I chose to marry my husband and spend my life with a man.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Feb. 17, 2013 at 1:37 PM
I think If she's saying it's a choice for her, then she's pretending. She may be with a woman, but unless she really is that way naturally, then she isn't TRULY gay.


Quoting MamaRae85:

I get that. But why do you think she's saying that it's a choice for her? Do you believe she's not telling the truth?

Quoting MrsBridges19:

Being gay isn't a choice.  Why would anyone choose something that would make them disliked by a lot of people or make their life difficult.  That's like saying black people choose to be black, or Asians choose to be Asian.



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