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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Children need socialization and intellectualization through daycare----stay-at-home mom is just not enough...

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by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 7:15 PM
Replies (551-560):
xxshelbyxxx
by Scarlet begonias on Feb. 23, 2013 at 8:54 PM
Thank you! Seriously. Thanks .


Quoting kailu1835:

I'm a huge fan of NOT forcing your young child to deal with situations he obviously is very uncomfortable with.  Ignore the people telling you to force it by putting him in daycare.  Odds are he will do the exact same thing there that he does with your large family get-togethers.  Forcing it takes away a childs control, and that never ends well.

Quoting xxshelbyxxx:

Yeah that makes perfect sense actually. At this point in time my son would not do well In a day care because he doesn't enjoy large groups of people whether it be adults or kids. Even at my dads side of the family holiday shindigs he bawls the whole time because there's like 50+ people there all coming up to me every second of the party trying to see him and he gets anxious or nervous .. But then again some ppl tell me this would be different if I forced him into daycare to get some social skills.. But I just can't see forcing my child into a situation where he's that uncomfortable.





Quoting kailu1835:

Don't get me wrong, daycare CAN be beneficial.  It depends on the kid and the daycare.  But blanket statements about socialization are completely asinine, since not every kid needs the same level of socialization.  Some kids are happy with one or two friends and don't really want any more.  Others are social butterflies.  If a kid is shy but WANTS to make friends, daycare can facilitate that.  But you can't force a kid to socialize who doesn't want to, and trying to will only lead to problems down the road.  It simply is not healthy for these types of kids.  I would not have done well in daycare.  I get overwhelmed in large crowds, always have, always will.  I've learned to deal because I was given coping skills, but I am thankful my parents never forced me into a large group of kids and said "you must socialize" because it would have caused me problems.  My son, on the other hand, LOVES big crowds, THRIVES in them (except when it is time to focus on school work) and would do just fine in daycare.  My daughter is more like me.  I wouldn't dream of shoving her into daycare.  When I'm in school she stays with a friend of mine that has 2 kids her age, and it is perfect for her.

Quoting xxshelbyxxx:

God I said the SAME exact thing a few days ago on another post (it might've been featured?) and all these women bashed me for saying the exact same thing y'all are sayin. I'm sooo glad to see some other mamas with the right view of daycares.








Quoting kailu1835:

It is also a proven fact that forced socialization in naturally introverted kids can cause anxiety disorders in young children, as well as the fact that very young children should only be in tiny groups.  I believe the basic rule of thumb is one extra child for every year of age.  So a 1 year old should be socializing with one other child, a 2 year old should be socializing with two other children, etc.

Quoting AdellesMom:

I find this hilarious.







All daycare a aren't bad, and my child definitely doesn't get sick all of the time. My DDs daycare is awesome. I wouldn't pay someone to watch my child while I work if I knew that they weren't going to treat my child the way I'd treat them.







Ignorant blanket statements help no one, and it's actually a proven fact that kids need socialization from outside of their homes.








Quoting TranquilMind:

Absolutely the LAST thing a baby or young child needs is daycare.  It's like a petri dish in there.  Those kids get sick all the time.  They also have absolutely no personal attention from an adult, which is what a baby/young child really needs, not warehousing together with some other young children.





The socialization takes place IN THE FAMILY, if the family is functioning properly.  As the baby gets older, Moms get together with their kids, and their kids start taking classes here and there, with Mom there.  Gradually, they do more and more outside the home, with friends, and with other groups.

This is how it is supposed to work.  But Americans have been sold a bill of goods that all children need is a warehousing situation with someone over 18 in charge, while the parents work 50 hours a week, and see the kid a couple hours at night. 





Detachment from adults is a major factor in all the teens going nuts these days. 










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1lv2stks3nlz4ev
by Silver Member on Feb. 24, 2013 at 2:22 AM

 If I hindered my children by being home with them and they are these itelligent wonderful beings, I can't imagine what they would have bloomed into with proper grooming. *rolls eyes* Excuse meh ya'll I gots some youngins knickers to fold and a hog to pen. *wipes nose with hand*

Quoting xxshelbyxxx:

I know you're not :) because that would mean the same for me and I can assure you I'm none of those things either. I also have no harsh feelings towards working moms, though I admit it may seem like it in some of replies, but that's simply because I'm being told I'm lazy and hindering my child by being at home with him.


Quoting 1lv2stks3nlz4ev:

 Thank you :) I am very proud of my boys. I have made raising them and looking after my family my #1 priority. I see it as a personal choice and have no ill words towards a working mother either. However, to say that my sons educational and social needs were not met at anytime in their upbringing is to assume that I, myself, am a lazy, dumb unmotivated woman. I can assure you, I am not.


Quoting xxshelbyxxx:

That's awesome mama!! Confrats on your smart lil guys. This is a perfect example/scenario for all those moms who say SAHM aren't doing for their kid what daycare can. Such bullllshit people!



Quoting 1lv2stks3nlz4ev:


 Really? I have been told that my oldest sons near genius IQ is because he was intellectually stimulated at home on a one to one basis. He was reading by 3, writing poetry by 9 and music by 11. My youngest son was never supposed to be able to read, write or cope in a normal school because of hearing, laungage and developmental delays and sensory/processing deficts. By working with HIM one on one at home, he is not only in a normal school but in an excellerated school and I can't get his nose out of a book. Both are very social and well manner and well behaved. Huh.



 


 

Mommy2OneBoy621
by on Feb. 24, 2013 at 3:09 AM
Agreed
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xxshelbyxxx
by Scarlet begonias on Feb. 24, 2013 at 9:14 AM
1 mom liked this
Lmfao


Quoting 1lv2stks3nlz4ev:

 If I hindered my children by being home with them and they are these itelligent wonderful beings, I can't imagine what they would have bloomed into with proper grooming. *rolls eyes* Excuse meh ya'll I gots some youngins knickers to fold and a hog to pen. *wipes nose with hand*


Quoting xxshelbyxxx:

I know you're not :) because that would mean the same for me and I can assure you I'm none of those things either. I also have no harsh feelings towards working moms, though I admit it may seem like it in some of replies, but that's simply because I'm being told I'm lazy and hindering my child by being at home with him.



Quoting 1lv2stks3nlz4ev:


 Thank you :) I am very proud of my boys. I have made raising them and looking after my family my #1 priority. I see it as a personal choice and have no ill words towards a working mother either. However, to say that my sons educational and social needs were not met at anytime in their upbringing is to assume that I, myself, am a lazy, dumb unmotivated woman. I can assure you, I am not.



Quoting xxshelbyxxx:

That's awesome mama!! Confrats on your smart lil guys. This is a perfect example/scenario for all those moms who say SAHM aren't doing for their kid what daycare can. Such bullllshit people!




Quoting 1lv2stks3nlz4ev:



 Really? I have been told that my oldest sons near genius IQ is because he was intellectually stimulated at home on a one to one basis. He was reading by 3, writing poetry by 9 and music by 11. My youngest son was never supposed to be able to read, write or cope in a normal school because of hearing, laungage and developmental delays and sensory/processing deficts. By working with HIM one on one at home, he is not only in a normal school but in an excellerated school and I can't get his nose out of a book. Both are very social and well manner and well behaved. Huh.




 



 


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
xxshelbyxxx
by Scarlet begonias on Feb. 24, 2013 at 9:50 AM
Right, I know I agree with you. I have to explain this to relatives every time we have a family gathering because they're all "ohhh he's gotta get used to it sometime just come join us, let him cry hell stop eventually!".. Surrounding us and blabbing away while I try to calm him down..


Quoting kailu1835:

I'm a huge fan of NOT forcing your young child to deal with situations he obviously is very uncomfortable with.  Ignore the people telling you to force it by putting him in daycare.  Odds are he will do the exact same thing there that he does with your large family get-togethers.  Forcing it takes away a childs control, and that never ends well.

Quoting xxshelbyxxx:

Yeah that makes perfect sense actually. At this point in time my son would not do well In a day care because he doesn't enjoy large groups of people whether it be adults or kids. Even at my dads side of the family holiday shindigs he bawls the whole time because there's like 50+ people there all coming up to me every second of the party trying to see him and he gets anxious or nervous .. But then again some ppl tell me this would be different if I forced him into daycare to get some social skills.. But I just can't see forcing my child into a situation where he's that uncomfortable.





Quoting kailu1835:

Don't get me wrong, daycare CAN be beneficial.  It depends on the kid and the daycare.  But blanket statements about socialization are completely asinine, since not every kid needs the same level of socialization.  Some kids are happy with one or two friends and don't really want any more.  Others are social butterflies.  If a kid is shy but WANTS to make friends, daycare can facilitate that.  But you can't force a kid to socialize who doesn't want to, and trying to will only lead to problems down the road.  It simply is not healthy for these types of kids.  I would not have done well in daycare.  I get overwhelmed in large crowds, always have, always will.  I've learned to deal because I was given coping skills, but I am thankful my parents never forced me into a large group of kids and said "you must socialize" because it would have caused me problems.  My son, on the other hand, LOVES big crowds, THRIVES in them (except when it is time to focus on school work) and would do just fine in daycare.  My daughter is more like me.  I wouldn't dream of shoving her into daycare.  When I'm in school she stays with a friend of mine that has 2 kids her age, and it is perfect for her.

Quoting xxshelbyxxx:

God I said the SAME exact thing a few days ago on another post (it might've been featured?) and all these women bashed me for saying the exact same thing y'all are sayin. I'm sooo glad to see some other mamas with the right view of daycares.








Quoting kailu1835:

It is also a proven fact that forced socialization in naturally introverted kids can cause anxiety disorders in young children, as well as the fact that very young children should only be in tiny groups.  I believe the basic rule of thumb is one extra child for every year of age.  So a 1 year old should be socializing with one other child, a 2 year old should be socializing with two other children, etc.

Quoting AdellesMom:

I find this hilarious.







All daycare a aren't bad, and my child definitely doesn't get sick all of the time. My DDs daycare is awesome. I wouldn't pay someone to watch my child while I work if I knew that they weren't going to treat my child the way I'd treat them.







Ignorant blanket statements help no one, and it's actually a proven fact that kids need socialization from outside of their homes.








Quoting TranquilMind:

Absolutely the LAST thing a baby or young child needs is daycare.  It's like a petri dish in there.  Those kids get sick all the time.  They also have absolutely no personal attention from an adult, which is what a baby/young child really needs, not warehousing together with some other young children.





The socialization takes place IN THE FAMILY, if the family is functioning properly.  As the baby gets older, Moms get together with their kids, and their kids start taking classes here and there, with Mom there.  Gradually, they do more and more outside the home, with friends, and with other groups.

This is how it is supposed to work.  But Americans have been sold a bill of goods that all children need is a warehousing situation with someone over 18 in charge, while the parents work 50 hours a week, and see the kid a couple hours at night. 





Detachment from adults is a major factor in all the teens going nuts these days. 










Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
GotSomeKids
by Silver Member on Feb. 24, 2013 at 12:04 PM

I haven't read the studies, but based on my own experiences, my son was getting a long better with his childcare provider.  She was even requesting to watch him on our date nights.  She knew he was sitting up before I did (he was an infant at the time).  I was devastated and it was one of the main factors for me stepping out of the workforce for awhile.

Quoting idee:

 Actually studies have shown that children who go to daycare become the bullies or more distant from the parent most of the time.


Toxic.Stardust
by on Feb. 24, 2013 at 12:04 PM

lol, my mil tried telling me the same thing

redneckmama4
by Loree on Feb. 24, 2013 at 12:06 PM
Yeah, our kids needed to be around a bunch of asshole kids to become better people. No thank you!
mich.el.le
by on Feb. 24, 2013 at 12:08 PM

This post still makes me chuckle when I see the title. *ahem, in my most important voice* Children need to learn to use reasoning to block out stress or difficulty and they can't do that without daycare. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 101 on Feb. 24, 2013 at 12:10 PM
Honestly, that was true for my DS.

I was a SAHM from birth-18 mos. Back to being a SAHM from 2-4. He just wasn't getting enough socialization with other children while I was a SAHM. I taught him everything he needed to know and more but he didn't have much interaction with children. We'd go to the park while I lived near town and we were 45 mins from the closest mall but I'd take him once a week if I could and play on the foam play area. It still wasn't enough though.

Then we lived in the country and I had no friends and was just too far away to just go play. I would take him to the playground where we lived but there were never any kids.

He's now in VPK and flourished socially.

It's not always the case with all kids but for us, it was.
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